#1
Well i'm new to song writing and i'd like you're honest opions and critiscm

It's been to long since i've been with you. All the bull shit you did to me
is through. Did you ever stop and think
think what's good for you is killing me? Every ****ing thing you do is wrong for me and
right to you!
Its been to long since i've seen the sun rise! been to long since i've been with you!
Been to long since i've been alive! This world is ****ed this life is done!
Every thing is wrong everybodys ****ed! This life is like a game of russian roulet finger on
trigger Bang your life is over! It's all your fault all the shit that you have done to me! It's
been to long since i've seen you been to long since i've held you in my arms i should of
known better than to be with you. You're killing me it's all good for you. I'll never live
again. This life is wrong it should'nt be like this why did it come to this. All it is is a game
of russian Roulet. My life is done all because of the shit you put me through.
It's been to long since i've been with you...
#2
Im assuming your into metal (mega death), which I dont like, so I cant really comment. they wouldnt fit any music I like, but maybe metal. the biggest thing is that they appear to come from the heart. keep it up!
GUITARS
Burswood Acoustic
Squier Affinity Strat
Fender Tele Deluxe
BASS
Ibanez Jetking bass
AMPS
Marshall MG30DFX
Peavey max 158 bass amp
Fender Bassman 250
1979 Carvin of some sort
And some pedals
#3
This is supposed to be what? Thrash? For thrash, those words can be used, but try to use less the word life. Now if it is heavy metal (more Black Sabbath, or Dio), you might wanna take out those "f***ing"s.
#4
A good thing to start on, would be putting it into verses or stanzas, then people have a little more of an idea how it would sound. But onto the actual song, I like some of the references to stuff like russian roulette, but in my opinion the only way to really know how good a metal song is, is by hearing it. So get a guitar, turn up the drive and record so we can hear it! Sorry I'm not much help, I've only just written my first song to. Peace.
My name is Jack.
#5
I wold definitely reccomed breaking it up so that we can better see how it flows. As a firt song this is great! I'd agree that metal lyrics make much more sense sung tan they do written though. Definitely keep up the writing though!