#1
So, a friend of mine likes this girl who (it's pretty safe to assume) likes him back. They met two months ago and are now talking daily. He's bought two tickets to see a concert with her, and he's thinking of a note to leave with them (the tickets will be slipped into her locker as a surprise). Two things he has thought of:

Merry Christmas [name], I wanted to give you my heart, but that would be biologically unsound. So here's a ticket to see Gabe Bondoc instead.

and

Merry Hanukkah [name], I know you're a Jew, don't tell my parents. So Bitch, I just wanted to inquire whether or not you would want to ditch ya hommies and roll with me down to see this ****** play a guitar and sing some shit.
Yours Truly, [name of friend]

(I think the girl would find that humorous.)

Any ideas?

BTW: This isn't a relationship problem, it's a creativity problem.
#2
If he gives her both tickets, how does he now she wont take a guy she actually likes?
#3
I think, "your friend," is you. And I think this, "girl," is actually a girl you met in special ed.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#4
Sounds great.
Quote by Diet_coke_head
If he gives her both tickets, how does he now she wont take a guy she actually likes?

#5
Dick in a box, put the ticket under your junk.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#6
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I think, "your friend," is you. And I think this, "girl," is actually a girl you met in special ed.

I've been found out.
#8
the whole. giving you my heart thing. seems a bit forward...
the other sounds rather degrading....
i think your "friend" is ****ed either way.
#10
First one. Second one is just stupid
Quote by ThinLizzyFan
I love you



Who's in a bunker?
Who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
And the children first
And the children
#11
Quote by kirbyrocknroll
I've been found out.

I'm sorry, I'm an angry drunk. I put my girlfriend's dog in a box and taped it shut cause he's bugging my dog.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#12
Quote by DimebagLivesOn
Dick in a box, put the ticket under your junk.


Beat me to it.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

~ Kurt Cobain ~
#13
Tell your friend not to give the tickets to girls.

All women are evil and will undoubtedly ruin his life in the course of a few months because he buys them things. When his money is gone, he will have become invisible to the female kind; THIS IS SCIENCE. And then whenever he wants to think about the time he went to an awesome concert, instead he'll end up sobbing in the fetal position about some girl who probably touched his penis once.

Bro's before ho's.
Where is Dirk Lance?
#14
Quote by DirkLance
Tell your friend not to give the tickets to girls.

All women are evil and will undoubtedly ruin his life in the course of a few months because he buys them things. When his money is gone, he will have become invisible to the female kind; THIS IS SCIENCE. And then whenever he wants to think about the time he went to an awesome concert, instead he'll end up sobbing in the fetal position about some girl who probably touched his penis once.

Bro's before ho's.

I hate to say it, but this is true. When my woman leaves me, I'm going to be really mad at myself for taking her to the Mars Volta.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#15
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I hate to say it, but this is true. When my woman leaves me, I'm going to be really mad at myself for taking her to the Mars Volta.


Chances are, if you take her to the Mars Volta, their awesome jamming will destroy her. Problem solved!

Haha, when I saw them open for RHCP 4 years ago, they had an hour...literally jammed for like 45 minutes. The only songs i recognized were Viscera Eyes, followed by (and closing with) Day of the Baphomets. And I would have known if they had played anything off a major release, including the Tremulant EP. Nothing for De-loused, nothing from Frances. Just jamming for EFFING EVER. Still awesome though.
Where is Dirk Lance?
#16
Buy her a pitbull!
This is why I don't like arguing on the internet.
Quote by damian_91
If only you could back that statement up.
Quote by Zombee
Wolfgang's Philadelphia Study. Look it up yourself.
Quote by damian_91
No need to, absurd generalizations aren't my thing.
#17
Never take a girl to a concert, i thought everyone knew this!!!!
Day after day, love turns gray. Like the skin on a dying man.

I, feel

Cold as a razor blade
Tight as a tourniquet
Dry as a funeral drum


PSN: Allshalperish
Steam ID: Fiesal

Check out my band!
#18
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I'm sorry, I'm an angry drunk. I put my girlfriend's dog in a box and taped it shut cause he's bugging my dog.


LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOL
Day after day, love turns gray. Like the skin on a dying man.

I, feel

Cold as a razor blade
Tight as a tourniquet
Dry as a funeral drum


PSN: Allshalperish
Steam ID: Fiesal

Check out my band!
#19
Quote by DirkLance
Tell your friend not to give the tickets to girls.

All women are evil and will undoubtedly ruin his life in the course of a few months because he buys them things. When his money is gone, he will have become invisible to the female kind; THIS IS SCIENCE. And then whenever he wants to think about the time he went to an awesome concert, instead he'll end up sobbing in the fetal position about some girl who probably touched his penis once.

Bro's before ho's.


this. women are like a tootsie pop with a center of shit instead of chocolate. it's all sweet for awhile, then you have shit in your mouth. and your friend doesn't like poop does he?
RIFT.CANYON.DREAMS.


Quote by Oroborous
I'm trying to cover one of my bedroom walls in semen. I'm about half way done.

Pics coming soon
#21
Quote by DimebagLivesOn
Dick in a box, put the ticket under your junk.

1. cut a hole in the box
...
4. give her the tickets
#22
Quote by Zombee
Buy her a pitbull!

I have a pit bull, his name is Syd. He thinks he's a lap dog. And the other dog thinks he is a pit bull. It is funny because the little dog has been trying to pick fights with my pit bull and my dog just runs away.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#23
Quote by BrokenBricks
this. women are like a tootsie pop with a center of shit instead of chocolate. it's all sweet for awhile, then you have shit in your mouth. and your friend doesn't like poop does he?


This. +1.
Day after day, love turns gray. Like the skin on a dying man.

I, feel

Cold as a razor blade
Tight as a tourniquet
Dry as a funeral drum


PSN: Allshalperish
Steam ID: Fiesal

Check out my band!
#24
Don't be subtle or restrained; girls are impressed by confidence. Shove the tickets up your arse, drop your pants in front of her, bend over, and pretend to shit them out.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Nov 24, 2009,
#25
Dick in a box
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
the jonas brothers are sooo
█▄█ █▀█ ▀█▀
█▀█ █▄█ ♥█
☆┌─┐ ─┐☆
 │▒│ /▒/
 │▒│/▒/
 │▒ /▒/─┬─┐
 │▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
 └┐▒▒▒▒┌┘ PEACE! LOVE! JONAS!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
#26
Quote by whalepudding
Don't be subtle or restrained; girls are impressed by confidence. Shove the tickets up your arse, drop your pants in front of her, bend over, and pretend to shit them out.


better plan.

hand her a ticket, THEN pull down your pants, then shit. if that's not confidence, i dunno what is.
RIFT.CANYON.DREAMS.


Quote by Oroborous
I'm trying to cover one of my bedroom walls in semen. I'm about half way done.

Pics coming soon
#27
^^ Hand her a ticket, pull down her pants, shit in her pants, pull her pants up.
Day after day, love turns gray. Like the skin on a dying man.

I, feel

Cold as a razor blade
Tight as a tourniquet
Dry as a funeral drum


PSN: Allshalperish
Steam ID: Fiesal

Check out my band!
#28
Quote by AstheticsOfHate
^^ Hand her a ticket, pull down her pants, shit in her pants, pull her pants up.

Hand her a shit, pull down her pants, hand her the ticket, pull her pants up.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
the jonas brothers are sooo
█▄█ █▀█ ▀█▀
█▀█ █▄█ ♥█
☆┌─┐ ─┐☆
 │▒│ /▒/
 │▒│/▒/
 │▒ /▒/─┬─┐
 │▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
 └┐▒▒▒▒┌┘ PEACE! LOVE! JONAS!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
#29
how can we give you advice about a girl we know nothing about, especially when you think calling her a bitch will get you a 1st date
'never a victim,' the role model said,
bang-bang, the bad guy is dead,
always a rockstar on eMpty TV,
the lesson complete, now the child has needs.
#30
Just punch her out, and take her to the gig. Then punch her out and take her home. Then go home alone, and cry yourself to sleep.
#31
Quote by TempoTantrum
how can we give you advice about a girl we know nothing about, especially when you think calling her a bitch will get you a 1st date

I don't know. Neither of us expected this thread to help very much.

Btw, I suggested a shit-related idea already. Didn't work.
#32
Write the note to her completely using lines from his music.
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I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.


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So it is written.