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#1
So one of my neighbors has just knocked on my door to complain that she can smell our dinner. I explained that there wasn't really much we can do about it since its already been cooked and eaten and she got angry and threatened to call the police about it, using the exact words "I'll tell the police its marijuana and get them to take you off to jail."
Now, this is probably the same woman who lied to the police and told them I was growing which led them to raid my flat back in September so I'm pretty sure she will follow through on that. I'm on probation because of that raid and my girlfriend is pregnant so there is no ganja in the flat so there is no real problem there but this woman is a constant thorn in the side of everyone who lives nearby. She complains about absolutely everything.
Can anyone suggest what I do about her? I've tried calling the landlord but he keeps making empty promises and seems to do nothing about her. Is there some other authority I can call to look into getting her evicted or at least silenced?
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#2
Arrest her for harassment?
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#3
Quote by IDread
So one of my neighbors has just knocked on my door to complain that she can smell our dinner. I explained that there wasn't really much we can do about it since its already been cooked and eaten and she got angry and threatened to call the police about it, using the exact words "I'll tell the police its marijuana and get them to take you off to jail."
Now, this is probably the same woman who lied to the police and told them I was growing which led them to raid my flat back in September so I'm pretty sure she will follow through on that. I'm on probation because of that raid and my girlfriend is pregnant so there is no ganja in the flat so there is no real problem there but this woman is a constant thorn in the side of everyone who lives nearby. She complains about absolutely everything.
Can anyone suggest what I do about her? I've tried calling the landlord but he keeps making empty promises and seems to do nothing about her. Is there some other authority I can call to look into getting her evicted or at least silenced?


A hitman.

EDIT: or do something to make her knock on your door but keep a tape recorder ready and when she is saying threatening stuff you got it all on tape. Just an idea.
I was about six there. You don't want to see me go to ten. Get your shit. We're going to my room.
Last edited by livnew at Nov 24, 2009,
#4
Call the police on her for harrassment?

EDIT: Dammit Kensai ! So quick.

There's blood in the water
Sinking, always sinking

Last edited by qwerty_555 at Nov 24, 2009,
#5
I have a 500W stereo.

I fight the man with my music.
Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.
#6
Asbo.
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YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
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#8
Quote by Kensai
Get her arrested for harassment?

Quite.

Leave a Dictaphone or something by your door, and whenever she comes round, hit record before opening the door and show her that you're recording the conversation.
#11
Rape?



I got no idea...


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RBY CYOA
#12
complain to the cops that you can hear here being shagged and that you can never get any sleep but the record all the convos is a good idea, face it the cops will not bust in because of a claim you were smoking weed, all you get is a caution if you were seen with it on your person
#13
1. Move to America
2. Buy a .22
3.Entice that bitch to move here
4. Shoot her in the back of the head
???
5. PROFIT!!!!
oh and nice to see your not in the slammer
#14
Quote by britishsligean
complain to the cops that you can hear here being shagged and that you can never get any sleep but the record all the convos is a good idea, face it the cops will not bust in because of a claim you were smoking weed, all you get is a caution if you were seen with it on your person


Trust me when I say I've already had all the cautions I'm ever going to get.

So far the dictophone idea seems like the best. If I do this and then call the police with the evidence, what will they do about it?
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#15
I like the tape recorder idea you should try it. or the drug her, cut her up with an axe, put her in a body bag and dump her in the ocean (best and most efficent way to get rid of a neighbor). but if all else fails you could try being nice. OR tricking her out of her into moving. Any way you decide. (I'd go with "drug her, cut her up with an axe, put her in a body bag and dump her in the ocean" just because it's original)
#17
Quote by 100%
I like the tape recorder idea you should try it. or the drug her, cut her up with an axe, put her in a body bag and dump her in the ocean (best and most efficent way to get rid of a neighbor). but if all else fails you could try being nice. OR tricking her out of her into moving. Any way you decide. (I'd go with "drug her, cut her up with an axe, put her in a body bag and dump her in the ocean" just because it's original)


I've tried being nice to her but she is beyond help when it comes to her bitchiness. I have no idea what turned her into what she is but I almost pity her for easily being the most biggoted, ignorant, moody and spiteful person I have ever met.

Quote by Fassa Albrecht
All I'll say is:

Drumkit.


She already complains every other time I play my hand drums. A louder conventional drumkit is only going to piss her off more.
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
Last edited by IDread at Nov 24, 2009,
#18
Quote by IDread
Trust me when I say I've already had all the cautions I'm ever going to get.

So far the dictophone idea seems like the best. If I do this and then call the police with the evidence, what will they do about it?

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#19
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#20
talk to everyone who is being harassed by her. and get together. im sure a bunch of grown adults can brainstorm a few solutions, good luck man!
#21
Always stay supernice to her and ignore her insults and threats. She's probably dying for attention, cause there are spiderwebs in her snitch/cave. So she feeds of other people's attention. Wheter this may be negative or positive, attention is attention. Just act entirely normal towards her, never get angry with her or give her any chance of getting to you. Have patience en she will get bored of it in time.

On a sidenote you tape all your conversations with her by your door, so all her threatments and insults can be given to the police.

IF NOT... go for the "drug her, cut her up with an axe, put her in a body bag and dump her in the ocean" idea or move to Holland where I live so you can build you own weed legally (5 plants per household)
#22
Buy her a car. It worked for this guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekYd-u2swLU
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

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#23
Could file a restraining order?

The Dictaphone is best, but make sure she doesn't know you're recording her, so as to catch the full glory of her idiocy.
#25
Quote by guusw
Always stay supernice to her and ignore her insults and threats. She's probably dying for attention, cause there are spiderwebs in her snitch/cave. So she feeds of other people's attention. Wheter this may be negative or positive, attention is attention. Just act entirely normal towards her, never get angry with her or give her any chance of getting to you. Have patience en she will get bored of it in time.

On a sidenote you tape all your conversations with her by your door, so all her threatments and insults can be given to the police.

IF NOT... go for the "drug her, cut her up with an axe, put her in a body bag and dump her in the ocean" idea or move to Holland where I live so you can build you own weed legally (5 plants per household)


I do try to be nice to her believe it or not. Its hard but I've never openly shouted at her for being such a bitch and I always try to be civil no matter how angry and idiotic she gets.

As for moving to Holland... I would love to but I don't think we have the money.
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#26
Flaming bag of shite through letterbox?

Then to make it better you could record the abuse she gives you as a result, assuming she assumes it was you, then edit it a little to take her comments out of context and make it seem like she was just screaming abuse at you for no reason.

edit: even better you could record her complaining about something ridiculously trivial like the dinner smell, then edit it in before the recording of her response to something more serious like the aforementioned letterbox thing. It would go something like this:

"Oi, your dinner really smells can you do something about that YOU F*CKING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT, I'M GOING TO F*CKING KILL YOU YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE C*NT!"
Last edited by Beserker at Nov 24, 2009,
#27
Quote by Jackal58
Buy her a car. It worked for this guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekYd-u2swLU


Somehow I think she would suspect that if I bought her a car.
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#28
Quote by Kensai
Arrest her for harassment?

+1 beat her to the police and say she's disturbing the peace
MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible
#29
Quote by IDread
Somehow I think she would suspect that if I bought her a car.

Buy her a 'splodin' toaster then.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
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I can fap to this. Keep going.
Last edited by Jackal58 at Nov 24, 2009,
#30
Quote by EnyoAdonai
+1 beat her to the police and say she's disturbing the peace


This is probably what I'm going to do but I don't know exactly how seriously the police would take it or what they would actually do about it.
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#31
A .22 round has the force to penetrate a human skull at close range, but not exit it, making it a very good weapon. You could also use a simple 2 liter soda bottle as a silencer. Just saying....
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#32
Quote by IDread
This is probably what I'm going to do but I don't know exactly how seriously the police would take it or what they would actually do about it.

Exactly, considering your record I doubt they'll take you alone very seriously. What you absolutely have to do is get your other neighbors on your side, and go together.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#33
Quote by smartalec007
A .22 round has the force to penetrate a human skull at close range, but not exit it, making it a very good weapon. You could also use a simple 2 liter soda bottle as a silencer. Just saying....


How exactly would a bottle work as a silencer? Besides the silenced part in silenced weapons comes from subsonic rounds that don't travel fast enough to create a sonic boom. The part you screw onto the end of the barrel is a flash supressor.

Quote by SteveHouse
Exactly, considering your record I doubt they'll take you alone very seriously. What you absolutely have to do is get your other neighbors on your side, and go together.


I'll have to work on that then. Most of the other neighbors are lovely people but they aren't exactly too concerned about her since she lives closest to my flat and likes me and my girlfriend the least out of all of us.
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
Last edited by IDread at Nov 24, 2009,
#34
Tell the police that she is illegally file sharing
Been in Japan since August, no fucking money left!
#35
Well the house next to me is up for rent. I didn't know they were showing it, so I was lighting off bottle rockets and other fireworks into the yard. Needless to say they didn't rent. Im sure you can incorporate this into your situation.
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#36
Quote by blackthought
Pipe bomb?

I perfer the molitove, much better for sealing off zombies.
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
The grandmother is having a baby with her grandson, so the grandson will be his own fathers father, the baby will be his own grandfather, and grandson, and the grandmother will be the mother, and great grandmother?

Quote by TheBurningFish
ಠ_ಠ
#37
Plant drugs in her apartment and call the cops?
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MyNameIsLame just nailed it (actually both his statements did some nailing).


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#38
Quote by MyNameIsLame
Plant drugs in her apartment and call the cops?


Not that I'm going to do it but that would be hilariously ironic.
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#40
Quote by IDread
Somehow I think she would suspect that if I bought her a car.
No, she'll think your a crazy stoner who's totally high and call the police.


THENNNN she'll blow herself up.
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