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#1
I work at Walmart, and see some crazy ass shit, and both stories involve what the thread title entails. Story number one:

One day at work my friend Joe saw a kid riding a skateboard and told him to stop riding. The kid complies and proceeds to the Xbox 360 display in our department (Joe and I work electronics). The kid is playing, with his skateboard on the floor, but keeps one foot on it and rolls it back and forth. Eventually the kid puts the other foot on and slides the board side to side a little, holding the controller so he doesn't fall. Joe sees this and tells the kid to get off. Little while later Joe hears the kid fall off his skateboard and sees the board roll and hit one of the display cases. This time Joe raised his voice with the kid and told him if he sees him on the board again the kid is kicked out. About an hour later, one of the store walkers (aka security) finds the kid sitting outside of the sitting room, sitting on the floor with pants down and dick in hand, fappin' to some motorcycle magazines with the chicks. Since the kid was only 13, he said he'd call his mom or call the cops.


Story number 2:

Today I got back from my lunch break, and I saw my boss come out of her office with a big grin. I asked what that smile was for, thinking she had some shit work for me. She proceeds to tell me that a 12 year old walked into the bathroom with a Maxim magazine and another, and that the kid was in there for about 10 minutes already. So we get back out on the sales floor and see one of the store walkers waiting for the kid to get out (he was hoping the kid would steal the magazines so he could get some good credit) and we waited maybe 20 minutes. The store walker checked and found the magazines on the floor in the bathroom, then stopped the kid who was now with his mom. He told her that she better pay for them because we couldn't put them back on the shelves (lol you know why), and the kid sat there denying it, though our guy told her he had video evidence of him walking in with the magazines.


So now for the two part question: For those who work retail, ever have anything like these events happen? Stories welcome

And I guess to involve the rest of the pit, have you ever fapped in a public restroom/public area? Have you ever gone somewhere and suspected someone was fapping?


TL;DR Go find a different thread
#3
I jack off onto store aisles, hoping some b*tch will slip and get prego. It's sort of a hobby of mine.

#5
when i worked at safeway i had a homeless lady with a billy goat goatee offer to give me head for a doller. she was arrested for jumping on a car and peeing in public
#7
TS your lucky you havent seen newborn babies in the toilets considering where you work at
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#8
My university keeps having these incidents of random middle aged men come in and masturbate in our student centre.
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#9
I worked at a game store near a busy road, and there were always homeless folk out and about; we were right near a Wal-Mart. One day a customer walks in talking about someone wanking outside. The manager on duty investigates, and he returns saying some homeless dude was out there near the dumpsters going at it, not trying to hide it. He apparently scared the dude off, because after that the customers returned...
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#10
I heard a story of an autistic kid at school doing it in the library.
I don't know if there's any truth behind it though.
#11
Quote by tancanada
TS your lucky you havent seen newborn babies in the toilets considering where you work at


Glad this town isn't that trashy/ghetto.
#12
I don't have any about jerking it in public, but I tell a shit load of other stories at parties. That's the only reason I get invited. One of my collection of stories is about me getting caught by various members of my family while taming the beast. I named the collection of stories the Wankaberry Tales. That is hilarious about people jerkin it in Wal-Mart.

I have one about an autistic kid aswell. This kid constantly wanked it, he actually had to be placed in a special school because he would always whip his dick out. One day he dipped it in various condiments at lunch and was flipping it around. This mother ****er was hung too. I have noticed people that will never use them have the monsters. lol
Last edited by lmihay at Nov 25, 2009,
#13
Quote by lmihay
I don't have any about jerking it in public, but I tell a shit load of other stories at parties. That's the only reason I get invited. One of my collection of stories is about me getting caught by various members of my family while taming the beast. I named the collection of stories the Wankaberry Tales. That is hilarious about people jerkin it in Wal-Mart.


I think that is the most awesome thing I've heard all day...

#14
ppl have been caught wankin in the bathrooms at our school all the time. one of those things that makes me wonder why the fuk would u do that?
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#15
I have fapped in many public toilets Daily in my work toilets, I am pathetic.
Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Speakers
#17
why the **** would u do that.... Do it at home, holy shit.
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#19
Semi related.

There was this huuuuuge wigger retarded (literally retarded) dude at my high school.

One day at lunch he limped off near where I was and mumbled "I'm gonna get some coochie" to himself. It made me lol. Very hard.
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#20
I fapped in a library bathroom a few years ago. Haven't done it there since.

I've also jacked it in my school's gym bathroom a few times this year. (My school is for special ed students ages 18-21, so to my knowledge its gym has no locker room.) The bathroom is right in the gym, and it has a lock on the door.

Oh, and TS, those stories you had were ****ing hilarious.
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#21
My friend told me a story that was quite interesting...


His brother's (Austin) friend David was over one day and he was upstairs in Austin's bedroom. They caught him sticky handed, I'm glad I wasn't there.


Another fun story in the same place

I was at my friends house, Colte. His cousin Eric was visiting with his girlfriend and we went downstairs, leaving Eric and his girlfriend in Colte's room alone. Having devised a plan with Eric to walk in at the right moment, we returned upstairs and entered the room. Colte was acting like he needed something in the room, I acted like I was going to use the bathroom directly across the hall. They were both in the bed, naked, doin it. Eric lifted up his hand and I walked in and gave him a high five.

Later in the morning, Eric gave Colte a high five, but his hand was slimy.
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#22
Quote by rocknrolldude43
I fapped in a library bathroom a few years ago. Haven't done it there since.

I've also jacked it in my school's gym bathroom a few times this year. (My school is for special ed students ages 18-21, so to my knowledge its gym has no locker room.) The bathroom is right in the gym, and it has a lock on the door.

Oh, and TS, those stories you had were ****ing hilarious.


Why? Do it at home you perverted ****er.
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#23
Lol, I just remembered my funny story. My junior year in high school I sat in front of this really annoying kid. Weird too, to the point of just down right creepy. For some reason one day, don't know what sparked this conversation, just randomly, he proceeded to tell me about his masturbation preferences. Apparently he likes to look at porn on his parents computer, which is in their room, while they are asleep, and whack off to it. I told him to get the f*ck away from me after that.
#24
Quote by Team_Snorlax
when i worked at safeway i had a homeless lady with a billy goat goatee offer to give me head for a doller. she was arrested for jumping on a car and peeing in public


did you accept?
Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Speakers
#25
Quote by lmihay
One of my collection of stories is about me getting caught by various members of my family while taming the beast. I named the collection of stories the Wankaberry Tales.


This is awesome.


And TS, many a people have been caught wanking at my old school. This one kid made a hole in the boy's room looking into the girls room. I walked in and saw him staring through it, in a stall, with the door wide open, dick in hand.
#26
Quote by dustyboy316
Why? Do it at home you perverted ****er.

He does it for the adrenaline rush!

Quote by SaintsofNowhere
I jack off onto store aisles, hoping some b*tch will slip and get prego. It's sort of a hobby of mine.
#27
There was a slightly twisted in the head lad at my secondary school who got caught johning his thomas under the desk in English class to the teacher.
#28
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He does it for the adrenaline rush!



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Life's too short to drink cheap beer.
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Whoever thinks Japan deserved the tsunami in any way should just go away and fucking die alone.
#29
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There was a slightly twisted in the head lad at my secondary school who got caught johning his thomas under the desk in English class to the teacher.


she hot?
Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Speakers
#30
Quote by Zomby Woof
This is awesome.


And TS, many a people have been caught wanking at my old school. This one kid made a hole in the boy's room looking into the girls room. I walked in and saw him staring through it, in a stall, with the door wide open, dick in hand.

Why didn't he just put his dick in the hole?
#31
There was once a user on here (he doesn't post anymore these days far as I know) who worked in an adult store. He had all kinds of stories that were pure gold. I wish I could remember his username...
#32
Thank you for reminding me why Wal Mart needs to go. I hate that place. It's hell on earth if you ask me, feel sorry for those that work there.

And, ummm, No.
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#33
Quote by speakers
she hot?
Thinking back to it she was. Natural blonde, 36C size boobs & tanned skin [not like the barbie dolls nowadays that look like they've been tango'd]. She always use to wear revealing clothes on the top half of her body aswell.

Man, makes me think of my year 3 primary school teacher Miss Jordan. We had to queue up to her desk to show her the work we'd done for her to mark, & I'd always be gaping down her top while she'd be marking my work watching her milk cartons bounce about.
#35
I worked at Target for more then a year and a half and I never heard any stories about fapping.

I did jack it once in the back seat of a car in a parking lot outside of a crafts store. It was either go in with my mom and grandmother or sit in the car. Fapping was pretty much my only option, seeing as they were gonna be in there forever. And so fap I did.
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#36
I was at a friends house and at about 2 in the morning everyone there decided they were hungry. Well we get up to go raid the cabinets and find something to eat, well after we were done eating I walk back to the room I was sleeping in to find a friend in there wanking it on a different friends computer. Since I am respectful I just walk back out. Not long after I hear him moaning and apparently the kids parents heard because they walked in on him.
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#37
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I worked at Target for more then a year and a half and I never heard any stories about fapping.

I did jack it once in the back seat of a car in a parking lot outside of a crafts store. It was either go in with my mom and grandmother or sit in the car. Fapping was pretty much my only option, seeing as they were gonna be in there forever. And so fap I did.

wtf, there is something wrong with you.

Lol once a kid with down syndrome was masturbating in class and when people told him to stop, he just grinned at them and kept going.
#39
Quote by ~Mr Brownstone~
wtf, there is something wrong with you.


What? It was dark out! And obviously, you've never been to a craft store with my mother... It would have felt like DAYS in there.
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She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying "That's yours"

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Last edited by PaperStSoapCo at Nov 25, 2009,
#40
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
What? It was dark out! And obviously, you've never been to a craft store with my mother... It would have felt like DAYS in there.


Couldn't you have just put a radio station on to pass time by haha.
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