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#1
Okay, so.

Me and my mum went to the movies to see 2012 (it was okay) and then decided to go back home quickly because my stepfather would already be home from work.

Soon after arriving home we had a rather boring family talk so I decided to go to my room to work on an email.

Meanwhile my parents are still downstairs, and my stepfather goes to my mum and says "Your son took a shit on the carpet..." ಠ_ಠ

He then goes on to say that when he got home he saw "Human Shit" on the living room carpet and he believes that I, before going to the movies, squatted on the living room carpet, and took a nice, steamy dump just to displease him when he gets home.

He goes on to say that he was 100% sure it was "Human Shit" because he recognizes "Human Shit".

My theory: We have a dog. HE probably shat on the carpet.

Pit, How do I react to this?

Update: Hey guys, just letting you all know that ever since this accident/incident ( and an interesting 2 weeks) my mum has filed for divorce.

Hooray!
Last edited by Philip_pepper at Dec 13, 2009,
#4


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#6
Best thread title ever.

"You think I don't know what human shit is?!?!?"
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Last edited by Venice King at Nov 25, 2009,
#7
Tell your mom that your poop does not, in fact, have the ability to teleport from the movies to your carpet at home.
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#12
It's always the first post that's the best.
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I also have hairy butt cheeks, I once shaved a letter 'W' on each cheek, so that when I bent over it spelled WoW.

warning, some of the contents of this post may not necessarily be completely true.
#13



On topic: Your stepdad is an idiot.
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#15
Pics or it didnt happen.
I know now what I knew then, but I didn't know then what I know now
#19
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
Last edited by ChemicalFire at Nov 25, 2009,
#20


edit: I see you changed your post. It is now funnier.
Quote by SlackerBabbath

I also have hairy butt cheeks, I once shaved a letter 'W' on each cheek, so that when I bent over it spelled WoW.

warning, some of the contents of this post may not necessarily be completely true.
Last edited by Pencil Man at Nov 25, 2009,
#21
Give him the Pepsi Challenge. You poop on the carpet and let the dog poop on the carpet. Then be all like "Bet you can't tell which is mine.."

Oh and btw this made my day. Thank you TS.
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#24
Repeatedly shit in his bed, like that episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
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#25
Quote by Pencil Man


edit: I see you changed your post. It is now funnier.


I needed to get the joke out there, encase some one did it first!
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#26
Quote by Rupert1616
Clearly your stepfather shat on the carpet and is using you as a scapegoat.



This is the only real possibity, and thus, the winner.
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#33
Quote by Zoot Allures
Why is it every few weeks theres another thread about how a stepdad is living up to the stereotype of being a complete asshole to the kids.


Edited for relevance to shatting on carpet.
#37
Shit on all of his belongings. ALL of them.
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#39
Your best bet would be to eat a whole bunch of stuff that gives you wind, and also take a large number of laxatives.
Then fart your watery sh*t all over him while he sleeps.
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