#1
'we're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.'


I tied flowers to the railings
that stand no more than 3 feet away
from where you stood
the night you tasted muck
the night you tasted blood

The sun followed me on the bus
cracking through the trees
like it was trying to tell me a secret
but then a building blocked it and
I never did find out

The street lights were on
by the time I turned down our road
I seen someone who looked like you
or your ghost

and yesterday and the next day
I tied flowers to the railings
that stand no more than 3 feet away
from where you used to walk, breath

the night before those boys showed
the world that they were though
the night before my brother tasted blood.
#3
its pretty good.
a few parts left me a bit confused though.


"the night before those boys showed
the world that they were though"
What does that mean? or it could just be me misinterpreting.

"The night you tasted muck" and "and yesterday and the next day" are the only lines that are a bit iffy to me.

Just play around with them a little, just personal opinion.

But there were parts I loved.

The sun followed me on the bus
cracking through the trees
like it was trying to tell me a secret
but then a building blocked it and
I never did find out

Great use of the words, loved this part.
The last line is also very good, and hits you with a punch, but is still touching.
ALSO!
The idea of tying flowers to rails is really good, and how it ties to the rest of the song.

And don't worry if people don't comment man, they will eventually.
Just crit other peoples peaces and keep yours in your sig, you'll get other's thoughts.
Your piece is far form shit.