#1
So I was bored and came up to this piece. I was listening to metallica and it made me feel brutal (yes, wtf xD) so I wanted to make some death metal. It's sometimes brutal and I think guttural goregrind vocals could actually fit verses. Dunno.. Not my problem . C4C!

EDIT:Replaced first solo with another solo, more metallica influence xD!
Attachments:
Death metal.zip
Last edited by xbitmetal at Nov 29, 2009,
#2
You were listening to Metallica while composing goregrind? That's interesting. The song is pretty standard stuff, nothing really special about it though. You might wanna add some variation to it and make it a bit longer too, maybe add a breakdown to it (not a shitty deathcore open note breakdown though, mind you).
#3
Quote by Pingis_Or_Death
You were listening to Metallica while composing goregrind? That's interesting./. You might wanna add some variation to it and make it a bit longer too, maybe add a breakdown to it (not a shitty deathcore open note breakdown though, mind you).

Yes, Ride the lightning. I don't know, pretty odd band to give inspiration for this kind of music xD! It's true that the song is pretty short, but adding breakdown.. hmm....
#4
I really like the intro because it is really heavy and captures my interest. I like the verse 1 riff when it is only with the Chinese cymbals. It just has a more creative feel to it. When the gravity blasting comes in, it just ruined it for me. I don't like the Break and the Chorus at all. They just aren't doing it for me. They really aren't keeping my interest. The new Break at bar 31 is OK at best in my book. Nothing special. The first solo was kinda an amateur-ish generic death metal solo. I really like the riff at bar 60. It has a very dark feel to it. The second solo is... alright. The "clam part" is excellent and it's probably one of my favorite riffs in this song. BTW, Great outro.

I give this song a 6.5/10.
#5
I liked the outro too, know idea how you came up w/ this while listening to Ride the Lightning haha.

Def. needs variation, but to be honest you can never fully judge a song based on guitar pro (vocals/etc).

I won't fully crit this one but keep it up man, for writing this out of the blue it's not a bad attempt.

Chorus sounded decent, I can hear the grindcore vocals over it and I think it'd work.
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#6
Chorus was easily my favorite part. It had a nice groove to it. 1st solo was meh, but the second was pretty good. It had that Meshuggah-like quality to it.
It's very simplistic to say the least. A bit more mid and higher note registries would help smooth it out.
That little break at bar 60 was immense. That's what I'm talking about.
Avoid the breakdown, go with something doomish.

Glad you liked my song, but I think it's pretty weak. I wrote it a year ago, in a time when brutality and technicality was a higher priority for me than the music and expression itself.
#7
ok, here it goes, I hope you'll get some c4c going

Intro:
The riff itself is simple but packs a lot of punch. I wouldn't use it as an intro riff though, because it is nothign special and imo you have to recognise a song by it's main riff, which is the intro riff most of the time.
In the par from part 9 onwards, you should leave out the drums.
If you have the drums hitting some cymbals, it will keep up a certain amount of tension. The next part is starting with a blast beat and therefore has a lot of tension. The thing is, if you leave out the drums, the transition to the next part will be way more drastic and powerful.

Verse:
Kinda reminds me of the intro riff of Testament's Practice what you preach. I like the blast beat, nothing wrong here.

Break
Typical Slayer riff, having a base riff and jsut altering the last chord of each bar. Quite generic but it's okay.

Chorus
Good rhythm and drum work, but for some reason I think you should use some higher notes/chords in there, maybe to make different to the previous riffs and more memorable.

Verse 2
Transitions from the previous part and to the next part are working well here.

Break
It's simple but I like that part because it's different ot the previous riffs. I would use it as a transition to the Solo part. It builds up more tension which get lost when the song enters Verse 3 again.

Solo
I dont really like the first 2 and the last 2 bars. The first bars are just too cliche for some reason. Maybe it's just because I don't like bends with a full note, but maybe you can play around with that a bit.
The middle part is nice. In contrast to a lot of other fast paced solo, this doesn't get boring and has a nice thrashy feel.
The last 2 bars however are not that great. I'd recommend a tapping figure for bar 50 and harmonics/pick scratches/whammy bar use in bar 51 to end the solo.

Break
The next break fits in perfectly, but I don't know what you wanted to do with bars 60&61. They are just out of place and are totally unnecessary.
I'd recommend something like this. Just insert those two bars as a little break and then repeat the other riff again, works better for me.
   S S S S S S E  S S S S S S E     E  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   1x
---------------------------------|---------------------------||
---------------------------------|---------------------------||
---------------------------------|--7-----7-----7-----8--8---||
---------------1--------------1--|--3-----3-----3-----4--4---||
---0---0---0---1--0---0---0---1--|--5-----5-----5-----6--6---||
---0---0---0---1--0---0---0---1--|---------------------------||

Solo 2
I'm usually not a fan of complex sweeping patterns, one single bar of a fast 4string sweep pattern can push a solo into epic potential though.
What I noticed in your solos is, that you always start a new phrase on the first beat. You need to use more breaks and ghost notes in case you don't always want to write typical metal shred solos. Also, you didn't use any triplets relly in your solos

Calm Part
My favorite part of that song, fits in nicely and makes the song more memorable
Instead of repeating the whole thing twice you could easily tweak the melody a bit for the second time to make it more special.

Outro
I like the frst 4 chords of every bar and the rhythm. A good diea would be to use the first 2 bars of the intro and mix it up with the calm part to create a really special and recognisable outro. If you do somethign like that, a fade out would be in order.

All in all you got yourself a good song on your hand with only very few flaws. This song is just missing a tiny bit of work to make it really stand out on an album, but other than that it's a decent piece. 8.5/10, possibly 9/10 if you work on it a bit.

If you don't have any problem with jazz, you could take a look at this one
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1233338
In case you can't really say much about that one, go to profile and look at the threads I posted, I guess you'll find something.
Rock on, dude
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
#8
I just loved this. I generally stay clear of songs with lots of open low string based riffs but I really dug this for some reason. I really hope that you can get this recorded. As a drummer I have to appreciate the amount of work that went into writing that part. Easily one of the most well written drum parts I have seen on here. You just inspired me to go work on my gravity blasts again :p well done! 8/10