#1
I dont know why
i say the things i do
or why i lie to you
when i know you know
the truth
but give me a smile
a reason to believe
and ill walk a mile
across the tips of razorblades
im looking for a change
a little peace of mind
as i lose myself
in between these written lines

a little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head?
or just a fork in the road?
ill follow your footsteps
no matter where they go

I dont need your diamonds
or your fancy clothes
just give me a guitar
and a wide open road
I'll sing these songs
and whisper in your ear
tell you all the things
that i never got to hear

A little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head
or just a fork in the road
ill follow your footsteps
no matter where they go

I might see the sunrise
in a Arizona sky
or i just might catch
Bourbon Street tonight
i like the windows down
when im riding high
you know i like my whiskey
when im sitting by the fire
I like to drink my beer
on a slow country night
but id rather you
right here by my side

A little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head
or a fork in the road
ill follow your footsteps
no matter where they go


So critique please any suggestions are welcome
Last edited by dmiwshicldply at Nov 27, 2009,
#2
Quote by dmiwshicldply
I dont know why
i say the things i do
or why i lie to you
when i know you know
the truth
but give me a smile
a reason to believe
and ill walk a mile
across the tips of razorblades
im looking for a change
a little peace of mind
as i lose myself
in between these written lines

change the word "written". you could say something much more interesting there

a little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head?
or just a fork in the road?


this is just a little late night inspiration, but unfortunately i hit a wall as i tend to do. I like what i have so far (except for the last two lines ill admit they're pretty weak and i do intend to change them) but im hoping someones comment on this might spark a little inspiration.

So critique please any suggestions are welcome


the last two lines aren't terrible but you're right, they could be better
this is pretty good and could turn into something
it has a definite flow to it, keep working on it

look at this?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1235266
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#3
I enjoyed it a lot. And yeah the last few lines are bad but you already admitted that. Other than that very good!
C4c? Mine's "dusk" its on the main page
Quote by nashawa
You're my idol, so I must destroy you
#4
Quote by rebelmidget
the last two lines aren't terrible but you're right, they could be better
this is pretty good and could turn into something
it has a definite flow to it, keep working on it

look at this?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1235266


scribbled maybe?
#6
Quote by dmiwshicldply
I dont know why
i say the things i do
or why i lie to you
when i know you know
the truth
but give me a smile
a reason to believe
and ill walk a mile
across the tips of razorblades
im looking for a change
a little peace of mind
as i lose myself
in between these written lines

a little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head?
or just a fork in the road?
ill follow your footsteps
no matter where they go

I dont need your diamonds
or your fancy clothes
just give me a guitar
and a wide open road
I'll sing these songs
and whisper in your ear
tell you all the things
that i never got to hear

A little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head
or just a fork in the road
ill follow your footsteps
no matter where they go

I might see the sunrise
in a Arizona sky
or i just might catch
Bourbon Street tonight
i like the windows down
when im riding high
you know i like my whiskey
when im sitting by the fire
I like to drink my beer
on a slow country night
but id rather you
right here by my side

A little peace of midnight
burning in my soul
a thousand pretty stars
over a million told you sos
a song inside my head
or a fork in the road
ill follow your footsteps
no matter where they go


So critique please any suggestions are welcome

not a huge fan of the first verse, but it's certainly passable
really really like the rest of it, lookin forward to hearing a recording