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#1
Ahhh, the memories, nothing like walking into the classroom and noticing you have a gullible sub replacing your teacher for the day. What experiences have you guys had with substitute teachers?
#2
this one sub i had in high school was named Mr. Lacock. not even joking. He was fat, bald, and wore suspenders. He was the best substitute ever.
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#3
Big fat purple faced sub called mr.cowell, he was a legend but that didn't mean we were nice to him.
#4
I usually get this guy named Mr. Seigel (sounds like seagull).

He's awesome, lets us listen to our iPods in class after we do our work, once he didn't want to wait for the bell, so about 15 minutes before class ended he said "**** it, I'm leaving, anyone else wanna leave early? I'll write you a pass."

EDIT: I just remembered another one, his name was Mr. G.

No one knew his real name, he was a racist pot-head, and he ate Twinkies and drank Mountain Dew the whole day. He let us do whatever we wanted in class, then say he "Couldn't find the assignment" to cover his ass. He recently got arrested in a drug bust.
Last edited by phlip999 at Nov 27, 2009,
#5
Quote by phlip999
I usually get this guy named Mr. Seigel (sounds like seagull).

He's awesome, lets us listen to our iPods in class after we do our work, once he didn't want to wait for the bell, so about 15 minutes before class ended he said "**** it, I'm leaving, anyone else wanna leave early? I'll write you a pass."

thats awesome

thats pretty much my experience with subs, they're either really awesome or they really suck
#6
We had this crazy russian lady as a sub a few years ago. She was at least 240 pounds, was around 60 years old, and her face was more heavily made up than Robert Pattinson while he is trying to become a vampire. She had some kind of plaster on her face, no eyebrows, which she drew on with a crayola marker, and the largest collection of costume jewelry I have seen in my life. Her screaming at us was a sight to behold.

One time, she broke one of her fake rings, and told me to go down to the custodian's office and get some superglue to glue the stone back on. She made some poor kid glue it back together, and his fingers got stuck.

needless to say, I have a humungous crush on her.
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#7
Along the same lines- substitute bus driver named "BUCK"- where we all cut open our seats with pocket knives, pulled the padding out, and threw it out the windows at traffic. What a bunch of a-holes we were. Amazed none of us got suspended.
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#8
We have this guy called Mr Randall, he always sits the hot girls by the teachers desk so he can 'work on his computer'

Bless him..
#9
a few times wayyy back in middle school, i had this guy name mr. evans. he always told the same story about how he was somehow a descendant of abe lincoln. he had the worst monotone in the world, and was the most retarded teacher ever. he noticed nothing. my friend chad and i kept taking things further and further. it started with throwing shit around the room, and our shenanigans just elevated from there. he finally stopped us and said something about it when we were walking around the classroom with our shirts off, pants around our ankles, and desks above our heads.

ahhhhh, middle school. i miss when being so childish was still awesome.
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#10
I had a sub once named Mr. Knipple; the first thing he said to us was this:

Quote by Mr.Knipple
Good morning class, my name is Mr. Knipple. As you can see, your teacher is out sick today. Let me get the following out of the way: Yes, my name is pronounced like "nipple," yes, I was made fun of in high school by kids just like you, and yes, I am indeed naming my first male child Harry.
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#11
i had a sub called mr hale in middle school. he walked like he had a peg leg, was always smiling, never got anyones name right and would hide under his desk and cry if you yelled "Charlie in a tree!". everyone hated him because he was a douchebag and he got fired 2 yrs ago for calling a kid gay.
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#12
Mr Beesting was amazing. He was probably the least scary person ever, with quite an awesome name. He also let us do X Factor in Music last year. Hard to the core.
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#13
I'm surprised there aren't loads of "I constantly worked in my lessons, I am better than you" comments, when frankly, noone learnt in supply lessons!

My favourite supply teacher was one guy I had a couple of years ago when doing GCSE Music, he was a huge Jazz fan so we talked a bit about Jazz while the rest of the class took the piss out of me for liking "music that is on TV adverts"

One we messed about, she was so annoying and shrill, it was about the time that the cadbury's advert with the kids waving their eyebrows was about, some guy had the song from that on his phone and kept playing it in the lesson, which annoyed the teacher, as she got more annoyed he played it more, but she figured out it was from him, so he sent it to everyone around him, eventually she got wise to them, so it ended up on nearly everyone's phone blaring out at various points in the lesson.
Hilaious thing was, we had that same teacher 3 hours after, and the same guy who started it was in that lesson...

Same teacher once, wasn't really messing with her, but this cracked me up, me and my friend were humming the music from the Team Rocket Base from Pokemon Yellow/Red/Blue, as she walked past she shrieked "Turn your music down" at us.
#15
Quote by ibz_bucket
I had a sub once named Mr. Knipple; the first thing he said to us was this:
Good morning class, my name is Mr. Knipple. As you can see, your teacher is out sick today. Let me get the following out of the way: Yes, my name is pronounced like "nipple," yes, I was made fun of in high school by kids just like you, and yes, I am indeed naming my first male child Harry.



Fucking epic!


To contribute, at my school, we would often have a sub that I simply referred to as "the crazy Russian lady"; to this day, I still don't know what her real name is. In my tech ed class, we were given a limited amount of paper, and were supposed to build towers out of it to demonstrate that we understood how support works. She didn't like me, so she pushed my groups over and gave us a zero; it is now obvious to me that she was a russian terrorist.
#16
Quote by MoroneSaxatilis
Along the same lines- substitute bus driver named "BUCK"- where we all cut open our seats with pocket knives, pulled the padding out, and threw it out the windows at traffic. What a bunch of a-holes we were. Amazed none of us got suspended.



now, i didnt witness this, because i was driving to school by this time, but apparently, one kid in my bus actually brought in the tools necessary to take the bus seats apart, and did so.

he threw 3 entire bus seats out the window. bus driver had no idea until he got back to the bus barn.
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#17
We have a sub who has this heavy accent and sounds like Darth Vader when he talks. He wears all black too, so it's pretty funny.
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#18
We had this one sub, Mrs Kerry. Well, we eventually found out that her first name was kerry.

We found it rather amusing.
#19
We has this bloke in year 9 (can't remember his name) who was so fantastically senile. He should've been a geography teacher, he would've fitted right in. We were supposed to have Latin, and everyone was mucking about and the people at the front were doing their maths homework for the next lesson. So somehow, he thought we had maths, and then told us to "lay down under your desk and have a nap, because thats how all the great thinkers came up with their ideas".
We, of course, did so. And then refused to move from the floor for the rest of the lesson, and he didn't seem to find, so everyone crawled about like toddlers for 45 minutes.

Then we had him for French the next day, and everyone was asking to go to the toilet, so he said "well, if you're going to need the toilet in this lesson, would you just go now please" So everyone left and ran about like muppets I remember we eventually got caught by a senior member of staff who sent us back and tried to tell the supply teacher how to do his job. Poor guy.

The same guy turned up to cricket training that year too, for some reason. And there we were 14 year olds in our gym kit for training, and he came out in cricket whites and was absolutely dreadful and couldn't throw let alone run.

He was a top lad though. Absolutely useless.
#20
Every time I have a substitute teacher, I always convince them to let me to go to the Gym for a "Health and Fitness project" and just chill in the weighroom.
#21
Mr Milburn who claimed to have fought a polar bear with a toothpick, been caught by the hand of God after falling from a cliff whilst climbing, had Jesus follow him and talk to him on a hilltop, has witnessed an exorcism and had several friends who had slit their wrists. Oh what fun stories he used to tell us.
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#24
Me and my friends can be asses sometimes (imagine that...) and we were teaming up on one of our other friends. It wasn't anything major, just throwing some paper and stuff, we had a sub that day anyway.

Well anyway. I have a ball of paper in my hand, about to throw it and the sub walks up, looks down at me and holds out his hand. I give him the paper and he throws it at my friend we were picking on.


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#25
A guy walked in to class with a fake gun and yelled 'this is a hold up!' then was like LOL jay kay jay kay. The sub teacher got really wound up about it and the kid got expelled (he already had a few warnings but still).
#26
Our habitual geography teacher normally wrote in blue but then one day this sub turned up and started writing in black and we were all like O_o.
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#27
One substitute in our geography class let me and my buddy out a half hour early every class to "work on a project", but we just went outside to smoke. She never suspected a thing.
Last edited by GrungeJunkie at Nov 27, 2009,
#28
We had a sub for Spanish who looked like a Spanish Mr Bean, so everytime he went past me and a friend went ''BBEEEEEEANNN!''. I don't think he knew what it was from though Thankfully
In Spanish we also had a supply who looked like JD from scrubs and always seemed to have his mouth in an O, so we called him ''bity'', after the Little Britain sketch.
We also had a history sub who was a conspiracy nut and thought the moon landings were faked.


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#30
Quote by homeless-john
We sometimes have a sub who is the living image of Peter Griffin.


My programming teacher in 11th and 12th grade looked exactly like Peter Griffin. I heard for years about him, and then I finally got in his class. Too funny.
#31
Quote by MonkeyLink07
Me and my friends can be asses sometimes (imagine that...) and we were teaming up on one of our other friends. It wasn't anything major, just throwing some paper and stuff, we had a sub that day anyway.

Well anyway. I have a ball of paper in my hand, about to throw it and the sub walks up, looks down at me and holds out his hand. I give him the paper and he throws it at my friend we were picking on.
Hell, my Biology teacher (not a sub, the actual teacher) spent half of one of our class periods throwing erasers at people. He had to go into his desk and open up packs of them because he kept running out (and he had the little ones that go on top of pencils, there are a shitload of those in a pack).
#32
We used to do book drops, seizure drops, throw stuff in the fan and generally not listen to them. Good times.
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#33
we have this one teacher every week where we just have to do 5 minutes work and just do whatever we want afterwards, he is amazing! once he brought shurikens in so we were just throwing them at books still don't know his name though people always take the piss out of him so everybody gangs up on the little shit who does it cause the teacher is so cool
#34
We have Coach Huggins. He weighs at least 400 pounds, has a growth over his (lazy) left eye, and speaks in a deep Texas accent while making astronomically shitty puns about students' names. He nevers makes us do anything, and travels around the room in a rolly desk chair since he's too big to walk.

I love him.
#35
Mr Davis for history. He was the husband of the head of Art, and the Art department had their own kettle. So he was constantly walking out at random points and getting coffees, if you had him last thing he was completely wired on caffeine and his hands shook when he tried to write on the board. He bought his guitar and amp in and played all through the lesson, while we watched Gladiator because it was a 'historical' films. And he was welsh, so he got loads of stick about buggering sheep and liking rugby. Good times.

The proper history teacher (Dr Scragg) was away for months at a time becuase he had cancer and kept getting ill. However when he was in, he spoke about the history work for a bit, and then went off on a tangent which always ended in a humorous anecdote for the rest of the lesson, told us ghost stories, smoked a pipe in the classroom, kept one of his racing pigeons in the classroom when it was sick to nurse it back to health during lessons, passed around a bag of cigars and told everyone in the class to sniff it, swapped around the first letter of a person's first and last names when speaking to them, kept the cane he'd used before they were banned in the class and swung it around at random intervals, wore an old style teaching gown most days and called the headmistress- "our beloved comrade and leader" jokingly. And he would always send someone down to the canteen to buy a chocolate macaroon and can of lilt for him, plus he would give you money to "get something to yourself". He actually died a few weeks ago, really sad
#36
we had the weirdest teacher once. her name was mrs. s and she (i am not exadgerating)was about 250 pounds, and about 85 years old and nobody liked her. so one time it was about 90 degrees in the room and she had this gross sweaty rash, so every 10 minutes or so we all had to turn around while she applyed rubbing alcohol to her various wrinkly crevices. so my friend/band mate comes into the classroom while she is applying and he screams like a girl. it was funny but i felt kinda bad for my friend.
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#37
My courent sub for history is a devil woman. She oddly never told us her name.

We asked our other teacher why.

Turns out her name is 'Miss Hunnybun'.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

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#38
We knew we were having a substitute teacher so when she came in we all said: "bonjour Madame" in unision.

She did a double take, walked out of the class confused came back two minutes later saying "oh you kids are in trouble!"
#39
We had this one fat, middle aged, balding substitute who was staring at a girl's ass while she was stapling stuff on the board. He had his hand in his pocket for obvious reasons and he never for a second broke eye contact with her ass.

The class began to notice ( including the girl's sister ) and we started talking loudly to try to distract he but he never looked away.

Creepy stuff.


We also had a sub who looked like a stereotypical safari goer/elephant hunter.
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Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
Last edited by Gyroscope at Nov 27, 2009,
#40
my school has THE greatest substitutes, granted there are a few dumbass ones but i love it when my teacher misses a day or two, the only time i give them a hard time is when they actually don't come from my school
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