#1
this is my latest song.
sounds pretty ok, imo, but that's just me.
that's why i put this on UG, to get some criticism.

C4C, of course.
you just have to leave a link to give me a chance to response.
Attachments:
song7.zip
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
#2
If you feel that this song could be improved, why are you uploading and asking for C4C? :/

If you feel that your song is anything less than epic, you have work to do
#3
-_-

Sometimes, the best ideas come from external sources, or a fresh new approach to songwriting that you may not be used to using, zezikaro. Constructive criticism is critical to grow as a composer!

A couple comments off the bat, first riff has an okay groove to it, I feel the distorted guitar on top does come in a bit too unexpectedly, I suggest you could use that lead line, Bar 6 and so forth, and actually make an intro with that, either fading in and out, or just really low volume, then start your first riff - would make for a nice feeling of continuity.

Verse 1 is damn cool on guitar, I think the drums and bass have a lot of free space to breathe though - make use of them!

Your chorus is an interesting idea, but used to an extent where it gets very very annoying. Also 16/4 is basically useless to write in you know, that's basically 4 measures stuffed into one, it's a nightmare to read man. Make it more interesting, and fix your measures, may help you understand where to emphasize your beats and ease your work with it.

Also verse 4 is very repetitive, more of the same, at least add some melody to that, some polyrhymics, the kind of thing that just grabs out and surprises you. Make it interesting!

Bridge riff sounds like it has some potential to be rather interesting, but the way it'S arranged right now it sounds very disjointed - as I said earlier, fix your measures, and then you'll be able to work with the accentuation of your time signature properly, and you'll know what beats to emphasize to make it flow right.

The ending is the best part in my opinion, only part which sounds properly worked on. If you want to build some dynamics, you can try beefing up your chords after each tail of the rhythm guitar riff (Adding your fifth first, then your octave for example, and maybe even finishing with a more unusual chord for dramatic effect!) and even harmonizing your tail in anticipation of the chord that develops next.

Keep working on it, there's lots of room to grow.
#4
thanks for the great comment!
i'll try to change some bits to make it more interesting and cohesive.

if you've got something that you want me to comment on.. feel free to post a link.
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
#6
Already established in the Docking thread, but the low A sounds like pure fatulence. Especially when doing triplet chugs.

I must say that this has inspired me to start writing on my 7-string.
The grooves were all well done, but this djent style is not something that interests me anymore.

This has also got me working on my weird orchestral songs. I'll be posting them soon, definitely not for the contest. They'll alienate everyone.
#7
i'm glad that i could inspire you.
the low A sounds pretty cool in real, though.
sounds not only like pure flatulence but pure evil flatulence!

@jazzdeath
it's hard to decide which song i should crit, some are not that easy to understand sometimes. d;
oh well, i'll just pick a random one.
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
#8
Before I start to crit got to say that I've never heard from music genre called groovecore. Well, lets see!
Spur 4 sounds like awful in the start. But it was cool without it. Reminded me from meshuggah. Didn't get a shit out from the verse. Awful verse 2.. Awful chorus...
Bridge was actually cool. Second bridge too. WTF IS VERSE 4? Ok, well it sounded like pretty basic.. nothing cool. But wasn't nice to look at. Didn't like bridge with vocals.. Outro was pretty nice. However didn't like the song really. It was too odd for me. I liked some parts in it.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1236318&highlight=commandment+to+destroy
#9
I actually really like the potential this song has. I think its a little messy to listen to in GP for sure, but imagining this being recorded for real actually sounds really really good.

Very little i would necessarily change in the song. In Spur 4, bars 10-13 i feel octaves may be better than Power Chords. The 5ths added in there makes it feel dissonant in a bad way. If i had written the song i probably would have given it an ending as opposed to a fadeout, but thats a matter of personal taste. Something i would suggest for your GP guitar tracks, if you are using more than one "distorted" track in midi form, is to use both the Distorted Guitar and Overdriven Guitar - Its much more pleasant on the ear IMO than if you have all of them set to "Distorted".

"Groovecore" - Love the term and idea. Its funny because i was actually about to start referring to my own music as "Groovecore". Lets form a couple bands and start a new genre
#10
thanks for the crits!
i'll crit back as soon as i have more time to write a detailed (or semi-detailed, haha) crit.

pretty busy now because of the recordings of our album which i consider as "groovecore".
it's not math but it's not that common groove either.
check out some recordings on my profile if you're curious. (:
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!