#1
c4c, on my profile as "White Birds" , I was trying to go in a similar direction to Battle of Mice with this song because I find their music terrifying. Its a very long piece that starts out soft and gets alot heaver so be sure to listen to some of both halves. Its probably the best mixed song on my profile and I am trying to get better, so any comments and tips are appreciated. Give me a link and I will critique your song in return.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Will+Terhart/
#2
Sounds a lot like Neurosis! I thought the clean part was a tad too long. That rythym tone is pretty filthy as well man, I like it. You got some pretty good vox going on. Cool track man!

Thanks for the crit!

O and I intentionally kept the volume low on the track, my bassist isn't a very good screamer. In the past ppl have told me he really sucks so I turned it down so people would pay more attention to the music itself. So I pulled an Isis lol.

Thanks again!
Last edited by v2a2n2g2 at Nov 29, 2009,
#3
HAHA fair enough. I love Neurosis, so I take that as a compliment. Most of the new stuff Ive posted is pretty wall-of-sound, post-whatever sounding so you might like a few of the other songs on my profile. Thanks for the comments!
#4
I like the guitar work in the song, but to be honest I didn't enjoy the clean vocals much. I thought they were a little off at most points. I did like the harsher vocals though.

If you could please comment on the song that's in my profile it would be greatly appreciated.
#5
The intro vocal is really cool. I like how you sat it in the background of the sound - makes it sound more mysterious. Heavy bit has GREAT tone - about what I think a wall of sound should be. Vocals are really freaky, but that's great for this song.
#6
Quote by CptRevell
The intro vocal is really cool. I like how you sat it in the background of the sound - makes it sound more mysterious. Heahttps://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=40vy bit has GREAT tone - about what I think a wall of sound should be. Vocals are really freaky, but that's great for this song.


Yes, the vox are supposed to sound sort of psychotic and a little off. I fell in love with Battle of Mice ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Mice ) partly because their singer (Julie Christmas) does that sot of thing really well; their music is pretty terrifying in my opinion so I was going for the same sort of thing. Thanks for thje comments!!! (OpenFaceSurgery, I commented on "Progress" in your profile)
Last edited by Will Terhart at Nov 29, 2009,
#7
hahaha thanks for the comments man, ill take them into consideration.
i didnt get a chance to listen to all of your stuff, but i really did enjoy everything i listened to. i can see all of your favorite bands within your music. nice bright eyes cover btw haha
#8
cool intro man. very soft and mystic. i liked it allot. it seems to take you back a couple hundred years. nice playing. i like the background vocals and the clean guitar playing. i love at 425 when the distortion kicks in. good song man and a great idea. i think its way to long though. if you could trim it to 5 min or so that would be good. at first i though the vocals were just background vocals, they are to far away. bring them more up front in the mix. they seemed to have to much reverb type stuff on them too. i liked the heaver part best. nice job man. it needs work though, and to be cleaned up. i dig what youre doing here though.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22442889#post22442889
#9
are you talking about the vocals near the begining over the clean guitar or the vocals during the heavier parts toward the end? Also, the clean vocals or the harsh ones? Check your thread, theres some crit.
#10
How do you achieve that very full intro clean tone? it kind of phases left to right? i dont know how to describe it. but it fills up very nicely, so id like to know how you did it :P
Quote by 311ZOSOVHJH
Congrats dude. I kinda want a BJ too 'cause I like them so much. I'll check your clipz later.

#11
its amplitube, it lets you use 2 cabs at once and you can pan them to opposite channels. That sound I got by adding an octave filter (higher) on one of the channels and a shitload of reverb and delay
#12
Hey, this sounds like some good stuff... creepy as hell at the start to be sure! The transitions between some of the sections are a little stark at the moment - when the vocals first come in, and when the drums start too. Maybe stick a little reverb on those drums to begin with too, as they sound very clean and clinical against everything else in the mix.

Gotta agree with the above about the vocals. The harsh ones sound great, but the clean ones don't sound right against the heavy guitars to start with. The rhythm guitar sounds brilliant with that fuzz though, not too overdone, which is good to hear! Having a little difficult hearing the leads though, most of the time, which is a shame as they sound really quite interesting.

Also, I really love that ending, some really nice soothing effects there, haha!

If you'd check mine out it'd be most appreciated!
My Bands




Latest Original Recording
#13
8 minutes long!!! zomg

first of all the production is quite good, sounds very very well!

you create a nice atmosphere through the whole song, really haunting, but being so slow and long makes it a bit boring

not a lot of guitar work sadly

vocals are also pretty good! nice growls! lol (i wish i could sing like that)

good work overall mate

4/5

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22424077
#14
Wow. That's just sheer awesome. The drums are a bit too loud maybe?

But I am a fan of Neurosis/Isis/Dystopia(lol) kinda stuff.
I live near Lake Bodom WORSHIP MEEEEEEE

Quote by Sami Philadelph
LOL, for some reason the impression I get from you is like some wacky Frank Zappa of metal pulling pranks at the Grammys and telling crude jokes during interviews.
#15
I posted a better mix that I worked on alot last night if anyone is interested. Its all the same samples and tracks, just different levels.
#16
Not bad, I got bored with the intro very quickly, 4 miunte clean part is just a bit long, and 8 minutes of pertty much the same thing over and over again. But the tone was good, pertty nice, the clean guitar was kinda quiet in the mix, and the drums are very quiet, dont punch through the mix,(I know its hard to get drums to sound level in a complete mix). But I think if you shorten it by 4 minutes that it would be better. Usually when you have an 8 minute song there is usually alot going on. Nice job though. And thanks for the crit.
#17
First, thanks for the crit! I was actually listening to your newest song earlier.

But for White Birds:
Wow. I really like your stuff man. Really good buildup. I would add more to the drums when the singing first comes in. Just to keep people's attention/add tension.

I liked the singing in the beginning but i couldn't wait for the growls! Probably because I'm addicted to metal right now but...They sound good! Really heavy stuff.

I felt like it could have been heavier at the end some how. Not quite sure how but. Other than that i liked it man. Keep doing what youre doing.