#1
I'm making a powerpoint for a class and I want to include a joke that I remember reading online a few months ago. It was along the lines of a wife who did not feel like her husband was fulfilling her emotional needs so she deprived him of sex. Then to get back at her, he took her shopping and when they got to the register, he told her that he wasn't going to pay for it all because she wasn't fulfilling his physical needs.

Thats not exactly how it goes, but I can't remember the details. Can anyone help me find the full text.. might have even been on this site somewhere?


Ne me quitte pas mon chere.
#2
What are we, the Joke-a-pedia?

Get outa here!!
It has come to my recent attention that our good friend CoreysMonster is not permanently detained in the Fotb.

i would like to make an apology to the following people:


that is all.

I use Linux
#3
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because.

She asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either ;(
I used to be a goddamn saint. I said my prayers and handled snakes until the road introduced me to sin. I only shook hands with drink but he had friends with him
#5
n/p, you have to host, my finace is sleeping here
I used to be a goddamn saint. I said my prayers and handled snakes until the road introduced me to sin. I only shook hands with drink but he had friends with him