#1
I wrote this on the bus going to some lame conference thing for my school. I wrote it in like 5 minutes I don't think it's very good. I'm open for critics be honest. Thanks.


Show these scars
That tell of a tale
Where everyone on the land
Will bow in our presence

We were broken and beaten
But no longer
We Fight
We fight for you

As god as our witness
We will carve our names
Into our skin
To repent or sins

We were broken and beaten
But no longer
We Fight
We fight for you

We will stand behind you
To show your not alone
We stand behind you
Like you are our own
#2
Quote by DieMartyrDie
I wrote this on the bus going to some lame conference thing for my school. I wrote it in like 5 minutes I don't think it's very good. I'm open for critics be honest. Thanks.


Show these scars
That tell of a tale
Where everyone on the land
Will bow in our presence

second two lines are awkward

We were broken and beaten
But no longer
We Fight
We fight for you

As god as our witness
We will carve our names
Into our skin
To repent our sins

With god as our witness sounds better

We were broken and beaten
But no longer
We Fight
We fight for you

We will stand behind you
To show your not alone
We stand behind you
Like you are our own


it's vague and generic. there's an idea here and there that could be worked into something but that's all I'd keep.
same ideas, new piece

look at mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1235266
I want Super Saiyan abilities