#1
this is a short demo of a song i started working on,
i want to know if the verse and chorus sound alright
any ideas suggested will be appreciated
crit for crit

it's the first song on:
www.myspace.com/vin9876543210

thanks!
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
#3
Thanks for the crit.

This is interesting. I like the solid piano line in the beginning of the verse. Singing sounds good in context to the mood of the song. I like the atmosphere.

Keep it up man.
#4
I really like the song........it has a classical pentatonic sound to it. I think it's just begging for a couple of distorted guitars playing power cords in a dynamic passage would make it just expode to life. Along the lines of Nightwish...... Your voice fits very well with the flowing sound of the music. When I listen to it....can hear a symphonic rock piece developing. But, that's just me......

You should keep on working on it and finish the song. Add some guitars, strings and maybe French horns and you'll have something epic.

Keep them coming!
#6
You have a good voice and the song has potential.I don't know what recording software you have but you need to make better use of the stereo field.Having the piano and voice at the same point means they mask each other.The best bang-for-buck($60) recording software bar none is,"Reaper" with the best support forum going,

http://www.cockos.com/reaper/
http://forum.cockos.com/forumdisplay.php?f=20
#7
This is really well written, I like the piano melody alot and your voice is a nice counterpoint to that bassy melody during the verse. I found it a little hard to hear everything clearly coz theres almost no high end in the vocal eq, but if this is just a test its not an issue (little too much reverb for my taste as well, but its your call)

c4c? "For All Those Burning"
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1240424
#8
Hey man, sorry for such a late return crit.

I really like the tonality of the piano, and the faint chiming metronomic sound in the background - the deceleration works well, and segues into the next section at just the tight time .
You've definitely got an interesting voice, and I admire that you've retained what I'm assuming is your own accent - or at very least, you're not conforming to the typical American-esque accent we usually hear in music It gives the piece individuality and contrast from so many others.
As the above poster pointed out, the reverb is quite prominent, though I feel as if it compliments the piece; even though it does muffle the quality slightly, it is that effect that I believe contributes to the atmosphere and concept behind the song. It's small nuisances like that that really make a song for me.

The melodies themselves follow a minimalist quality, almost, which fairs very fell; there's a flow, and while there certainly is harmonic resolution, the piece maintains flow as if it is still aching to reach something.

Have you got any ideas on where you'd like to take this next? I can hear some syncopated percussion coming in where you've left off, and some very low mixed synth drones - maybe even a melodic bass interlude? Regardless of where you take it though, I can only recommend retaining the minimalism; focusing more on the atmosphere than genuinely building up the piece to a definite climax. It's a tough call, as for some pieces like this the climax is definitely what makes the piece - and subsequently prevents it from breaking - but I can't help but think a minimalist, atmospheric approach throughout would work best, and rather let this piece segue into another.

Again, sorry for the late return, but hopefully the extra writing has made up for it.

Great work and best of wishes