#1
Hi everyone! It's a song that I wrote for my metalcore-ish band BEHOLD I RISE. It's called "When All Heavens Cry", influenced by Trivium a lot, we play it for a while...So...check it out!

Crit it please!
C4C as always

Sincerely yours - Tom Araya
Attachments:
28-When All Heavens Cry.gp4
Last edited by Tom Araya at Dec 1, 2009,
#3
Very Trivium influenced :P

I didn't like the transition from intro to intro 2. Maybe change the 2nd guitar's first interval of intro 2 to an octave just to stay in the same pitch. Idk :\

Didn't like the verse's vocals, started to annoy me a bit, the repetitive pattern but that could just be exacerbated by it not being actual vocals and just midi sounds.

Didn't like the bridge, went straight into the solo after the chorus and it worked for me, maybe try it out.

After the solo, go straight into the chorus, remove the bridge. It worked nicer for me.

Took a while to pick up but i enjoyed it.
#5
Quote by Uber Man
the bass is very uncreative.


Name some of the CREATIVE bassists in metalcore
#7
I knew you'd say it All his creativity consists of repeating guitar riffs Yeah, he wrote some bass "solos", but WTF - it's metalcore, not techno-death. In this style there is no needs to be DiGiorgio
#8
Quote by Tom Araya
Name some of the CREATIVE bassists in metalcore

That's an awful excuse for lazy songwriting.

Dan Briggs, by the way.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#9
****, dudes - I'm not asking 'bout the bass line! I'm asking if the WHOLE song is good? What the shit all of you making 'round the bass? Why are you bitchin'?
#10
You should make a creative bass part.
No Im kidding but I was trying some stuff out and if you use 8th notes instead of letting notes ring for the bass it sounds a little better.
#11
bass line sucked as everyone has pointed out, there's no need to be that boring.
some of the song was a bit tooo slow for my liking, it seemed to drag.
on the whole its standard unoriginal metalcore, guaranteed to entertain but not to wow.
solo was alright i guess. didn't really like the chorus as an outro
#12
нехуево так то
War Is Over
(If You Want It)

SorryForMyEnglish=)))

Accordion Muse S 384-K
#13
I'm terribly bad at criticizing, but I liked your song. And the earlier suggestion was good, remove the bridges, I liked how it sounds that way. And the above discussion made me re-download the song just to see the bass line, and all right, it's a little simple, but who knows if you're a bassist yourself. It works for the song, just have an actual bassist correct it and put some more details into it (and I'm sorry if you really are a bassist, no offense, really ). Still, I'm a big fan of metalcore, I don't give a f*ck if it's the same riffs over and over again, or if it's too generic, I LIKE metalcore, and your song is really good. Congrats, man.
Quote by angusfan16

That penis guitar. Hell, i'd wank it.


UG's MEXICAN DRUMMER