#1
That's right, I have to give an impromptu speech on cats tomorrow. The topic was chosen at random.

Any ideas on what I should say?
#2
say pussy a lot everyone will realise how witty and mature you are.
Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Speakers
#3
my catz are fluffy and when I rub theiir back close to their tail they put their butt in the air
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#5
You could talk about how the always land on their feet, and you could analyze the symbolism of that or some shit and blow people's mindholes
#6
Kitteh

I see u thar watchin' me

Pretteh

Is wat u look lyk to me

And it's teh myddl of teh nite

And I can't contrl mysef

And I know that it's not right

But I gots to dress u up lyk an elf!

*Death Metal vocals*

PET TEH KITTEH!

PET TEH KITTEH!

LYF'S NOT SH!TTEH

WHEN U PET TEH KITTEH!

Kitteh

My luv to u is not a lie

Sitteh

On teh cieling ...kitteh sky

And teh walls r closin' in

And teh doors r slammin' shut

And ur eyes, they beam me in

And I want to rub ur gut!

*Death Metal vocals*

PET TEH KITTEH!

PET TEH KITTEH!

LYF'S NOT SH!TTEH

WHEN U PET TEH KITTEH!

PET TEH KITTEH!

PET TEH KITTEH!

LYF'S NOT SH!TTEH

WHEN U PET TEH KITTEH!
NOPE
#7
Talk about how they're evil and useless animals.

EDIT:
THIS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzJBBkVO-EA
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#10
Quote by captaincrunk
Pretend they meant some kind of advanced medical procedure instead.


computed axial tomography (CAT or CT scan)?
Grammar and spelling omitted as an exercise for the reader.
#11
I sometimes use my cat as a cum rag when i dont have a towel around, maybe you can talk about that
#13
SUPERTROOPERS

Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
[Mac is gut-busting laughing]
Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
[feigned anger]
Foster: Do you see me eating mice?
Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Nothing exists there is no you, no me . . .
#15
Talk about their symbolism for nobility in Ancient Egypt.

Or show up with a dead cat. That'll get peoples' attention
UG's Prodigal Son
#16
Quote by lunaticfringe93
Or show up with a dead cat. That'll get peoples' attention

Now you're reminding me of Nathan Explosion and his friend 'Brain'.
#17
I think its fun to bury cats up to their necks, leaving only the heads exposed, and then run them over with a lawnmower.