#1
As none of you know, I've been sick for a whole fucking year. Basically I got some non-physical disorder, its a bad form of anxiety. I can barely go out from my house without panicing. My house is my safe area, and now I reached a point that this is getting so old that I sometimes break down into crying or rage, idk what to do. I haven't been able to go to school or interact with my friends unless its online for a whole year. I haven't exercised in a year. I have home tutoring and all I do is sit at my computer, playing guitar or studying. My life is so empty now that I feel like either I wanna start doing drugs or constantly start drinking alchohol, the only problem is that my parents will start freaking out. A lot of rage is out by now and I almost smashed a hole into my bedroom wall, yay. Everything is feeling unreal for me and I sometimes panic when I'm trying to sleep, so I'm in a living hell right now. I have been "thinking" of taking a kitchen knife and drive it through my head, but I'm way too scared of dying. I really want to get healthy but I've been trying for a year and I made no progress, I even take anti-anxiety/depressive pills that doesn't do SHIT. All I can get joy from now is finding fun videos, playing video games, eating, lurking the pit and watch TV. To be honest I'm almost amazed that I haven't killed myself by now. I always wanted to share this but never really felt like a good time. I just had to say it, even though this is a internet forum I just had to write it somewhere.

tl;dr: I'm sick and haven't been able to have a normal life in almost over a year, and I'm starting to get depressed.
#2
Too long to read
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#6
A lot of rage is out by now and I almost smashed a hole into my bedroom wall, yay.

Play much COD-MW:2?
Originally Posted by Chromeproguitar
they make horrible noises in the middle of the night (is it sex?)

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I guess she's pretty hot if you're into that "having a good music video, but not better than Beyonce's" kind of thing...
#9
Quote by ShredHead396
You need help man
see your local orthopractor for some counseloing or whatever they du

I have been seeing someone for almost all this time.
#11
Quote by krook205
I have been seeing someone for almost all this time.



Then your pretty much fucked ay
#12
I had that to (not quite that bad) i also start freaking out when i go out the house and shit. Hell i am even scared for the dark, i dont wanna go outside when its dark i feel unsafe. But all my friends chill outside at night and i didnt go there and my life sucked dick.

Now i go out despite being afraid/panicy and i have a good time and other things in life go better. So my advice :Go outside even if you get AIDS doing it.
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^
#13
Posting it here wont make you feel better since 90% of the replies will be "lulz kill urself".

Even if you can't leave the house there must be things you can do to keep you going while you struggle with this, find little things to cheer you up, write music (seems you are in a perfect state to write some goodass music)..
I only have one guitar, sue me..
#14
Quote by Love is Insane
Posting it here wont make you feel better since 90% of the replies will be "lulz kill urself".

Even if you can't leave the house there must be things you can do to keep you going while you struggle with this, find little things to cheer you up, write music (seems you are in a perfect state to write some goodass music)..


Yeah man, you got lyric inspiration out of the roof.
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