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#1
So, pretty much I have to write a persuasive speech on something that would be controversial. I chose eating babies simply because of the online humor we get from it and because it would be a controversial thing to do in real life.

Then it really got me thinking about what points I could use and I thought, Population control and world hunger.

So, I ask the dear pit, What advantages you think there would be to eating babies?

And I do realize this topic is a bit messed up, so do your worst.
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#5
Well there'd be alot less crying babies, that's always a plus.
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#7
Well, babies suck because they barf, poo and cry, they have the ability to pee in your eye. There's a reason to dispose of them.
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#10
In China Baby Eats YOU!
If You See Me Posting In The Pit HIT ME.
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#11
....so china wont over populate the world
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#14
Babies don't belong here take the seed out in the street and run it over after the show

/mastodon
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Beating yea bi
#19
read Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" then come up with something original
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This should be put in the ****ing Bible.


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#23
There is one small problem. 9 months of pregnancy and painful childbirth will give you something that's not very big, and won't feed you for very long.

Be fucking tasty though.
#24


Ask this man, afterall, he's gonna eat your children.
Life is like an Empty Box, there could be something exciting in it at first look, but upon further review, well, it's empty.

#25
Quote by =w=eeze
Well, babies suck because they barf, poo and cry, they have the ability to pee in your eye. There's a reason to dispose of them.

Smosh!
Beers on me
#26
Quote by StewieSwan
Less babies.

Annoying little bastards they are



It's fewer babies, for **** sake.
#27
It would help with hunger in third world countries while keeping the population down at the same time.

Quote by Pagan-Pie
It's fewer babies, for **** sake.


You're actually annoyed by that?


...it's "****'s sake" by the way.
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Disclaimer: By reading the above post, you agree that El Hilliaro is legally and morally free from any responsiblity should any harm be incurred by said post.


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Last edited by El Hilliaro at Dec 2, 2009,
#28
Quote by El Hilliaro
It would help with hunger in third world countries while keeping the population down at the same time.


You're actually annoyed by that?


...it's "****'s sake" by the way.



Only if you're using **** as a noun.
#29
Actual Response: That's not at all what they meant by "controversial". What they mean would be something like Prop. 8 or whether all the execs at Fox News should commit hara-kiri.

Pit response:
Title: Eating Babies.
Page one: "OM"
Page two: "NOM"
Page three: "NOM."

Make sure that's in 72-point font.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#32
Quote by Pagan-Pie
Only if you're using **** as a noun.


What? How can the sake belong to a verb?
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Disclaimer: By reading the above post, you agree that El Hilliaro is legally and morally free from any responsiblity should any harm be incurred by said post.


Also, you agree that I'm awesome and own all your stuff now.
#33
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I think the rules governing the grammar of **** are vague at best.

It can be almost anything...
Noun. "What a great ___!"
Verb. "Wanna ____?"
Adverb. "That was _____ing funny."
Interjection. "_____, I got sniped again."
Infix. "Abso-____ing-lutely."

___ is easier than passing the filter

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#34
http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html


I'd do something a little less obvious. When I had to do this assignment, I proposed each state gather all of its citizens. Pay the citizens to dig a gigantic hole in the middle of nowhere, then shoot every fourth citizen in the head and throw them in the hole. Cover the hole over after removing the money from the dead citizens.

Lower population = less ecosystem damage and there is no bias in the elimination... you simply shot ever fourth person.
#35
You need a case study of baby eating to give your opinions more merit. Eat one yourself and write down your views. Feed dead baby meat to people in the street and ask them to fill out a questionnaire.

You could also speak to a doctor about eating babies. Softer skin? Nicer texture? Fresher taste? Doctor's know this!
#36
In my opinion, if you're going to kill a baby, then do something 'inhumane' like eat it, you might as well rape it and enjoy yourself, since the fuzz is gonna be out to get you anyway.
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#37
Quote by Eliyahu
In my opinion, if you're going to kill a baby, then do something 'inhumane' like eat it, you might as well rape it and enjoy yourself, since the fuzz is gonna be out to get you anyway.



No, because you will end up eating your own semen.
#38
But if you eat all the babies, what are we suppose to sacrifice to Satan? Goats just don't cut it no more...
#39
It's no different then someone swallow a whole load of jizz. Babies tend to taste salty, and with a tinge of chlorine as well.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#40
So....lets go over the the cons maybe?

1. You were once a crying, barfing, pooping and diaper using baby.
2. World population will decreese like hell and in about 40-45 years, it's just old people and dead babies.
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