#1
Any comments are welcome.


You don't believe in Santa Claus
So why believe in him
It's just another fairy tale
To convince you of something real

It's only there as a crutch
Imagine the world without such
Love, no fighting and equality
Instead of pain and suffering

Can't I just get a break
**** you, don't you make
Me live through this pain
If you're real you're a shame, you're a shame

I curse the name in vain
Cause it's brought me nothing but pain
Why do I finish last in this race
When I'm the one with a face

So you sit on your heavenly throne
Dronin on and on
It's nothing more than brainwash material
Why does this still belong

I don't mean to be such a bitter person
I'm trying to be the best I can be
But it's hard when this girl
Is in ****ing love with a man shes never even seen

I curse the name in vain
Cause it's brought me nothing but pain
Why do I finish last in this race
When I'm the one with a face

I just want a chance
But she's caught in a trance
It's pretty sick that we can't live without
Having something to hold on to

Imagine the world
As I tend to do
No Religion
Peace and happiness too

Maybe sometime but until then

I curse the name in vain
Cause it's brought me nothing but pain
Why do I finish last in this race
When I'm the one with a face
Last edited by omgitsrods at Dec 3, 2009,
#2
I understand what you're trying to say....but damn man you're walking a fine line haha
Good poetry especially the last line in the chorus, but honestly man-outside of these lyrics-

She found something that makes her happy and you're ridiculing that ideal just because it's blocking you from being with her. And I don't understand why people think there would be nothing but love without religion because there's still a lot of shit that happens, religion aside.

Edit: I'm not hating on you either, if you don't believe in God that's your deal. I'm not trying to spark a fight.
Last edited by blake1221 at Dec 2, 2009,
#3
You don't believe in Santa Claus
So why believe in him

No good. To aid comprehension in reading it, "Him" should be capitalized. With the way it sounds though, it seems that you're saying "You don't believe in Santa Claus, so why believe in Santa Claus." It took me a bit to realize that "him" referred to God.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#4
In replies to the first poster. I'm not going to get in to a religious debate we all have our own opinions. I'm perfectly fine with other peoples views. Including yours. I understand what you're saying too, and I'm not saying this is the end of the world. I just did this when I was frustrated at the time and decided to share it.

I just believe that if you weren't brought up with it or something in your life didn't occur to make you believe in a God do you think you would be missing out on something? That's all I'm going to say on it though. Thanks for the reply.

And second poster. Yeah my bad just a typo haha. Thanks.
#5
Well actually....yeah, I would have missed out on a lot. (This case doesn't apply for everyone, but it does for me.) Besides the religious shtuff I now believe I'd be missing out on, I learned a lot through church. I'm not like a church kid at all and my relationship with God needs a lot of work and more dedication, I'll be the first to admit that; but a lot of the people I've met through church and the times I've had, good and bad, I wouldn't replace them.

First thing being, it gave me common ground with my girlfriend of a year (on the 18th). And she's told me how that is one of the big things that attracted her to me and keeps us strong and together, and I believe it really is. Also, I've been to churches that people can kind of have a "holier-than-thou" attitude and that pisses me off so much. If you have any qualms with this faith because you think that's what we're all like, don't hold on to them because I strongly dislike those people. Another thing is the atmosphere is nothing but positive, like with some youth events I've been to, it's all constructive, it's really nice to be around. And in the end, if there is no God, I had a nice rule book to live by huh? Hahaha I'm just saying, I would have missed out on a lot and I have no regrets about being in this faith.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do, and I do wish you the best of luck with this girl (if she's still your object of affection). And even if I do disagree with some of the things you said, still, I thought that was well thought out poetry and I'm sure it's a great song. Haha =)
#6
first of all--

"Imagine the world
As I tend to do
No Religion
Peace and happiness too"

thats sounds awfully familiar.... *cough cough john lennon cough*


and i like the song but i cannot stand the satanism of it.. if i understand the song correctly your pretty much cursing gods name.. i feel bad for you man.

your skillled though reall skilled
#7
This seems a little simple, for me. There's something to be said for writing entirely from emotion, in the heat of the moment, but if that's the case here, then it could be dressed up a little more. The lyrics kind of fall into their own murk, and there's no real identity, I think. I'm a big fan of imagery, and this song never really gets going. It starts off a certain way (IE: Arguing against religion) and never ventures far. It runs in place, and by the end, it feels like no real ground has been covered.

Now, there's nothing wrong with anti-religion songs, that's not what I'm getting at, any song with a message, such as this, needs to demonstrate something to convey that message. You know? Go from point A to point B. You start off strong enough, but you never move forward.
When crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope...
#8
All I meant was that if you didn't have your faith you would probably still have a pretty good life haha. People can believe what they want to and I'm cool with that just over religious people have a tendency to get on my nerves. You seem like a cool guy though and thanks for the response.

Secondly, Satanism? Really? Lol. I don't say anywhere in there that I worship Satan. You have no reason to feel bad for me for those reasons. I enjoy my life haha but thanks man.

Thirdly, those are some good tips man and something I'll work on. This is only like the second or third song I've actually spent enough time on to get it into being something full length but now I have some things to go off of.
#9
Yeah I don't see the satanism at all haha

And you seem pretty cool to man. Anytime.

But also I'd go with what allnightmask said because he seemed to give some really good advice.