#1
My eyes sting and burn.
Winter, she is a vicious bitch.
But I'm not ready to say goodbye.
This painful release comes but once a year.

Drinking.
I get drunk to keep warm.
I tell myself i get drunk to keep warm.
I drink because I'm alone.

Or am I alone because I drink?
You would still be here had I been a
better father,
you were an angel of a daughter.

A saint, if I ever knew one
'Please, come pick your old man up,
I've foolishly gone and got drunk,
I have no way to get home.'


You say okay,
with only love in your voice,
How you could maintain it is beyond me.
I have no faith, least of all in myself,

but you fail to reciprocate this correctly.
you care, when I am drunk,
when those old addictions wake up,
throw me from my bed at 3am and I find smack,

And I'm strung out.
Days pass, faster than days can.
I'm not alive.
in a coma, pitiful and high.

It's two weeks after Christmas.
you don't come in,
only peek your head into the bar.
I see you and nod my head,

drunk and ashamed.
My entire life in two words.
Drunk and ashamed.
We say hello with a hug,

because words are too painful
when i see your face.
I stumble into your car,
an acquired skill from years wasted.

The roads are icy,
I'm not making it any easier
with all my drunken advances.
I keep your attention off the road.

For one second.
One second.
I'm not ready to say goodbye,
Because I'm the one who should've died.
#4
Wow.
Dark, but excellent.

She dreams in color, she dreams in red.



Quote by josh999x
A guy put a dildo on his head and shouted look i'm a unicorn.

Quote by sg255
Patrick was so slang, but Squidward was a boob waffle.
#6
oh wow, talk about an emotional storm, that is an AWESOME bit of writting right there, amazing
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .
#7
Oh, well this is a pleasant surprise. I thought this piece would be ill received. This surely would be a boost to my ego, If I could just muster one up. Thank you.


Post links and I'll be glad to critique your work
#8
The coldness of this is what makes it. easily.

It enters some dark, some cold place where you can just imagine yourself in a cheap and dilapidated motel room, drunk, isolated, it's snowing outside and the wind hasen't ceased for days, there are bugs in the bed, your throat is dry and you have a cough.

however I would have definitely dropped the last stanza, it's hinting at it the whole way through and to come out and say it is too pedestrian for something like this.

take a look for me thanks.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1240340
#9
Quote by Hendrix_fan_14
The coldness of this is what makes it. easily.

It enters some dark, some cold place where you can just imagine yourself in a cheap and dilapidated motel room, drunk, isolated, it's snowing outside and the wind hasen't ceased for days, there are bugs in the bed, your throat is dry and you have a cough.

however I would have definitely dropped the last stanza, it's hinting at it the whole way through and to come out and say it is too pedestrian for something like this.

take a look for me thanks.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1240340



Yeah, I really wrestled with the last stanza. I was on the fence. I ended up throwing it in, obviously, and immediately regretted it Further showings will not include it. Thanks for the feedback C: That's a wonderful description, by the way. Just the sort of place I wanted to take you.

It's not a true story. At least, not in my case.