#1
Welcome to the castle
Of broken mirrors
Where screams are
Drowned in it’s terror

A dark haired beauty
Of youthful years
Touched by evil and
Kindles our fears

Ice cold shrieks warming up her heart

Forever be the bride of darkness
Evil forces run through her veins
Surrounded by bloody madness
In blood she reigns

Burning of their flesh
Sever their limbs
Tear them up
Torment them with pins

Crushing bones, ripping flesh
Inhuman cries from these dark halls of insanity
Fatal surgery to those within
All in the name of vanity

Innocence she shall enslave
Clawing, biting, tearing of flesh,
Draining victims till they're cold and depraved

Ice cold shrieks warming up her heart

Forever be the bride of darkness
Evil forces run through her veins
Surrounded by bloody madness
In blood she reigns
Last edited by Dee_Haitch at Dec 5, 2009,
#2
Awesome!!! :d
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .
#3
Quote by Dee_Haitch
Welcome to the castle
Of broken mirrors
Where screams are
Drowned in it’s terror


This kinda goes against the flow of the piece, seeing as it doesn't rhyme.

A dark haired beauty
Of youthful years
Touched by evil and
Kindles our fears

Ice cold shrieks warming up her heart

The same thing here.

Forever be the bride of darkness
Evil forces run through her veins
Surrounded by bloody madness
In blood she reigns

Burning of their flesh
Sever their limbs
Tear them up
Torment them with pins

Crushing bones, ripping flesh
Inhuman cries from these dark halls of insanity
Fatal surgery to those within
All in the name of vanity


I liked this line.

Innocence she shall enslave
Clawing, biting, tearing of flesh,
Draining victims till they're cold and depraved

Ice cold shrieks warming up her heart

Forever be the bride of darkness
Evil forces run through her veins
Surrounded by bloody madness
In blood she reigns



Overall I think it's a pretty good piece, it just feels kinda interpreted by those line I pointed out.

Crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1240637