#1
A weekend expedition across the Ural path
The snow falling down like raindrops
Set up camp, set up camp, set up camp next to the trees
As the blizzard takes hold of visibilty

But WAIT! She's lost her tounge! And I can't feel my legs!
What happened to my friends?! Up there, in the cold air!
Oh, GOD! RADIATION! Cordon off the area!
What where those orange lights?!

They clawed their way out of their tents
What the f*ck was it that they sent?!

But WAIT! She's lost her tounge! And I can't feel my legs!
What happened to my friends?! Up there, in the cold air!
Oh, GOD! RADIATION! Cordon off the area!
What where those orange lights?

If there's one question that I'd ask God
What happened to my friends up there?
In the Dyatlov air...
Last edited by ATXTheKiller at Dec 5, 2009,
#2
Quote by ATXTheKiller
A weekend expedition across the Ural path
The snow falling down like raindrops
Set up camp, set up camp, set up camp next to the trees
As the blizzard takes hold of visibilty

But WAIT! She's lost her tounge! And I can't feel my legs!
What happened to my friends?! Up there, in the cold air!
Oh, GOD! RADIATION! Cordon off the area!
What where those orange lights?!

They clawed their way out of their tents
What the f*ck was it that they sent?!

But WAIT! She's lost her tounge! And I can't feel my legs!
What happened to my friends?! Up there, in the cold air!
Oh, GOD! RADIATION! Cordon off the area!
What where those orange lights?

If there's one question that I'd ask God
What happened to my friends up there?
In the Dyatlov air...


When I say this don't think of me as a conservative type. But you really should have continued the format of how you had the first stanza, because that was just great. It had really nice imagery and nice use of repetition.

Sorry to say it but I didn't enjoy the rest of this at all. It was too different from the first and I didn't like how you executed it.

I'd love to see you continue the format of the opening stanza.

if you could check out 'the Minotaur' for me
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1240340
that'd be great.
#3
I thought it was the dveltov pass. Shows how much I know

I kinda agree with Hendrix Fan. the first stanza was good, the rest was alright, but not amazing.

The subject of the piece, though, is f/cking awesome. They still haven't released all the information of what happened up there.