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#1
As many have probably read elsewhere in the Pit, I work my local Walmart. Well, this weekend we did pictures with Santa Clause for about four hours each day. Kids could go up to Santa, tell him what they wanted for Christmas, get their picture taken, and then receive a piece of candy for being good.

Well....guess who was Santa.....me. I actually laughed when I was first asked to do it, because I'm only 20 years old, don't have as big or aged voice as my idea of Santa would have, and though I'm 6', 230 lbs, I don't exactly have the Santa build. I'm overweight, but I've got broad shoulders and slightly wide hips, so I definitely don't have the stomach to be Santa.

Though I had fun interacting with the kids and being treated as a god to 5 year-olds, I thought it was crazy that I was even asked to be Santa Clause because I just didn't feel like I fit the appearance to be Santa (I had a huge pillow in my suit, and it actually made me look more like a red marshmallow). I did, however, like sitting down for half of my shifts and cracking jokes with my boss about pay (I said I wanted a bigger pay or some milk and cookies).


Now for the thread questions: Has anyone else ever been asked to be portrayed as Santa? Did you do it? How was your experience?

If nothing else, share your experiences sitting on Santa's lap.
#3
just look at my avatar

EDIT:ive never sat on santas lap
Last edited by nevermore97 at Dec 7, 2009,
#5
you mean Santa ISN"T REAL?????

My life Just Went down the drain..........
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No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#6
look we all know santa is really in a diabetic coma from all the damn cookies over all the years...and hes missing an arm and a leg
#7
I have done the "santa" thing numerous times.
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#8
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look we all know santa is really in a diabetic coma from all the damn cookies over all the years...and hes missing an arm and a leg




Santa.
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#9
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Jerry-Garcia.jpg

Santa.

no thats clearly jerry garcia....but they do look alike.
#10
Quote by Jackal58
I have done the "santa" thing numerous times.




Idk that I'd do it again at my store....it was put together kinda last-minute. Things ended up going well, but it was just a lot of aggravation that could have been avoided if people would plan things a day ahead of time rather than "Oh, Drew has to be suited up and ready for the kids in 15 minutes.....does anyone know where the suit is?"
#11
Quote by dudius


Idk that I'd do it again at my store....it was put together kinda last-minute. Things ended up going well, but it was just a lot of aggravation that could have been avoided if people would plan things a day ahead of time rather than "Oh, Drew has to be suited up and ready for the kids in 15 minutes.....does anyone know where the suit is?"

I had forwarning and there weren't any kids involved.
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#12
Quote by Jackal58
I had forwarning and there weren't any kids involved.


Pitdaddy, will you please tell me this story? I'm a thousand-times more curious now that you said "there were no kids involved"
#13
Quote by dudius
Pitdaddy, will you please tell me this story? I'm a thousand-times more curious now that you said "there were no kids involved"

I was "volunteered" for 2 consecutive company christmas parties. I got to distribute some rather exotic gifts. It was decided that people would sit on "Santa's" lap for pictures. I assured all the males in attendance that their presence on my lap would be painful at the least. The ladies took great delight at having a misogynist Santa. Yes there was a lot of alcohol involved. I got pictures somewhere. I'll try to find them.
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#14
Seems like being Santa would be awesome if you have the personality for it (I don't).

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#15
Quote by SteveHouse
Seems like being Santa would be awesome if you have the personality for it (I don't).

I would never do it if kids were involved.
Not to be taken in a pedophile kind of way. I can't stand most parents.
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#16
Quote by Jackal58
I was "volunteered" for 2 consecutive company christmas parties. I got to distribute some rather exotic gifts. It was decided that people would sit on "Santa's" lap for pictures. I assured all the males in attendance that their presence on my lap would be painful at the least. The ladies took great delight at having a misogynist Santa. Yes there was a lot of alcohol involved. I got pictures somewhere. I'll try to find them.


Sounds much more fun than Walmart

I did have a few milfs hold their infants (I was gonna say babies but was afraid people would think I meant boobies for some odd reason) sit on my lap. I'm a bit of an ass-man, so it was nice watching them sit on my knee.
#17
Quote by dudius
Sounds much more fun than Walmart

I did have a few milfs hold their infants (I was gonna say babies but was afraid people would think I meant boobies for some odd reason) sit on my lap. I'm a bit of an ass-man, so it was nice watching them sit on my knee.

I had a few milfs without babies. I held their boobies. Somebody had to pay.
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#18
Quote by Jackal58
I had a few milfs without babies. I held their boobies. Somebody had to pay.


Lucky, though my girlfriend gave me explicit instructions not to "allow any cute girls to sit on my lap". I told her that babies were cute, so I got away with at least that much. She also said she wouldn't visit me and get her picture taken because she was afraid I'd get a boner and then get fired, though I know that was just a lame excuse because she's no fun.
#19
Quote by dudius
Lucky, though my girlfriend gave me explicit instructions not to "allow any cute girls to sit on my lap". I told her that babies were cute, so I got away with at least that much. She also said she wouldn't visit me and get her picture taken because she was afraid I'd get a boner and then get fired, though I know that was just a lame excuse because she's no fun.


Your boner isn't induced by seven year olds?
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#20
Quote by Bushinarin
Your boner isn't induced by seven year olds?

Elves.
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#21
Santa had a flashlight in his pocket last Christmas.


EDIT: Now that I think about it, maybe it was a fleshlight.
Last edited by denfilade at Dec 7, 2009,
#22
Quote by rocknroll93
you mean Santa ISN"T REAL?????

My life Just Went down the drain..........


Of course he's not real.
#26
Quote by geetar_man0


@ The past couple of posts...


and I caused it.


OF couse I WAS JOKING!
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No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#28
so there weren't massive amounts of horribly behaved 5 year olds pullin' your beard and stuff like in the movies?
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#29
Yes, I'm Santa, now piss off and write me a damn letter instead of trying to get me to give you presents via the pit.
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#32
I've been santa last 2 years for some family close to where I usually celebrate christmas.

Bla bla I know, I'm sweet.
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#33
Quote by Kensai
I've been santa last 2 years for some family close to where I usually celebrate christmas.

Bla bla I know, I'm sweet.

and so modest too.
Utah's Token Black Guy
#34
No, never. I didn't sit on his lap either. I'm not Christian, so it makes sense.
#35
so tell me, what is the relation between santa and christianity?
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#37
Quote by the bartender
so tell me, what is the relation between santa and christianity?

Well, Christianity encourages people to believe an old, beardy man will bring them joy if they're good.
Christmas is exactly the same, only with more immediate, material rewards. And a great meal.
#38
I AM SANTA CLAUS!

Actually, I am a skinny, non-white male age 18; I do not have kids that I give presents to on Christmas Eve.

The only thing I wanted to do was present that link.

*leaves thread*
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#39

You'll shoot your...
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#40
C'mon, it's obvious who Santa is.
Wears red? Tempts children away from the Christian message at Christmas? Punishes children for being bad? Name's an annagram for Satan? And has anyone ever seen them Santa and Satan together?

Those ain't reindeer, they're hellhounds in disguise.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Dec 7, 2009,
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