#1
This is a simple acoustic song with just a few chords.. hope you guys like it

Verse
I'm dazzled enough by that beautiful smile, what more can I say?
My heart just popped to run a million miles
As bright as those eyes could be, your innocent voice is just as sweet.
You seem happy enough i see, without me.

I don't want to believe your still in my mind, whats a boy to do?
So im gonna leave these feelings behind
As hard as it seems to be, I’m feeling joy, I’m feeling free
There’s a better part of me, you never will believe.

Chorus
I thought of you when i wrote this song
Was hoping someday you might sing along
We'd dance to this tune
In your white dress, in my black suit

Held tight to the pen and bled the mess I am
Im just gonna pretend that your not with him
Held tight to your hand and swore you held it too
Im just gonna say that I, I, I have feelings for you
You, you, you, I love you
You, you, you, I love you
You, you, you, and I love you
I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you
I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you....Did you hear me?

Bridge
I love you why wouldn't you love me too?
Trying too hard is never an excuse
I broke all my clocks to make the lingering stop
You just said no without a doubt
I threw my heart in the wishing well
You came back now with wedding bells
I've never fallen so deep in such a dump
Guess this is what its like to fall in love

I thought of you when i wrote this song
Was hoping someday you might sing along
We'd dance to this tune
In your white dress, in my black suit

Held tight to the pen and bled the mess I am
Im just gonna pretend that your not with him
Held tight to your hand and swore you held it too
Im just gonna say that Im still in love with
Im still in love with
Im still in love with you.
Last edited by motimon3 at Dec 9, 2009,
#2
The trouble is I knew what to expect just from the title of this song.

It's a song for her and that's it. Too anyone else it's dull and unoriginal. And I really have read it a million time sbefore (and wrote a fair few myself).

But it is fit for purpose and it flows nicely enough. So yeah.

It's good for what it is, but what it is isn't much.

Have a nice day.
#3
This is a very generic love song, like the many other songs titled with the name of a girl. This one is better than a lot of them, but it isn't anything I haven't seen before. It's very cliche. Don't take this the wrong way though, this is very well written. Maybe you could just try to change a few lines to make it unique. Maybe a twist somewhere in the lyrics could make it interesting enough.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1238706
#4
Hmm jammydude thx so much i just realized that. and ginger thank you too.

The reason why it is so cliche its because its real and has happened to me and her. But hmm ok I'll try to make it more unique and keep to the story at the same time.. I wonder how unique can a love song get tho.
#5
i think its beautiful, very moving, i think a few of the words are misplaced but thats alright, and complete originality is not the necesary but it does take a different veiwpoint/idea then most songs, it was in no way predictable good writting
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .