#1
are singer (awsome singer) seems to put weed ahead of the band on his priority list.
he use to invest alot of money in the band,but when he started smoking he started spending all his money on weed.Now dont get me wrong,i have nothing against him smoking pot, but are practices have gone down,alot!,his effort in the band is almost gone,and im considering quiting.

any advice?
#2
Don't quit he is the problem. Make him either smoke less or do it at a time that doesn't interfere with the band. If that doesn't work then kick him out, there's no reason that you should leave.
#3
i think before you should consider dealing with this problem you should learn that "are" is different to "our"
#4
i know exactly what your going through. The other guitarist and I said we would leave the band if they kept doing it while we were trying to practice. and we made a new rule that everyone had to practice and do shows sober.
#5
Quote by garager
i think before you should consider dealing with this problem you should learn that "are" is different to "our"


+1
incubus rocks my world
#6
just bring it up. when you're in a band, you're all essentially in a business plan. you don't want to walk away from something you put your work and effort into.

Just get everyone together, have a coffee and lay all the shit out on the table. he'll either agree to cut down.. or he won't.

either way you'll talk and figure out a solution that suits all of you. (whether its firing the singer, you quitting.. or coming to an acceptable agreement)

Good luck!
Grammar and spelling omitted as an exercise for the reader.
#7
Quote by kannon
are singer (awsome singer) seems to put weed ahead of the band on his priority list.
he use to invest alot of money in the band,but when he started smoking he started spending all his money on weed.Now dont get me wrong,i have nothing against him smoking pot, but are practices have gone down,alot!,his effort in the band is almost gone,and im considering quiting.

any advice?


Yeah, totally. Better grammar.

In all seriousness, the answer's pretty obvious. If you don't like it, tell him to stop. If he doesn't, kick him out. Simple as pie.
#8
ok please,i know my grammer is horrable.Iv been working on it!!!.its been my biggest problem for a long time and it has gotten better
#9
Quote by kannon
ok please,i know my grammer is horrable.Iv been working on it!!!.its been my biggest problem for a long time and it has gotten better


i seriously don't know why people get worked up over trivial little grammar mistakes.
We are NOT in school people, cut the guy some slack!
#11
i seriously don't know why people get worked up over trivial little grammar mistakes.
We are NOT in school people, cut the guy some slack!


Yes, because you only need to write properly in school and it's completely unnecessary to do so anywhere else. Sure. It's not like it's a reflection of the effort you're putting into asking the question or anything.

This and similar questions come up a lot, and the answer's normally the same. Talk to him, discuss the amount of effort he's putting in, the level of commitment he has, and how his smoking is damaging the band. If he's committed to the band, he'll reduce the amount he's smoking, or at least only do so at times when he's not trying to practice or learn songs.

If he doesn't, you need to decide if he's still contributing more than your next alternative (whether that's finding another singer, someone else in the band taking over, or you going and looking for another band). If it's still a better deal to keep him around temporarily, in that you and the other band members will get more out of it, do so. If you've got a legitimate alternative that will help more...go for that one.
#12
Don't quit man, don't be a quitter. Quitters are lame, and you're not the lame one; he is. Tell him how he feels until he either wants to better himself, or he wants to quit himself. Sounds like he should. You'd kinda be better off if he's gonna keep acting like that. Leave nothing out man, tell him how you REALLY feel, and if he hates you for it, so what? TELL HIM. Convince him, to either quit or look at the band and tell them he can't be a good 'leader/singer' Hah. Don't be a quitter, bud.
#14
Quote by kannon
ok please,i know my grammer is horrable.Iv been working on it!!!.its been my biggest problem for a long time and it has gotten better

Your grammar isn't that bad....just sort out the our/are issue, put spaces after punctuation and put a space in "a lot" and your post is fine really....little spelling mistakes (grammAr, horrIble ), but other than that...

Anyway, on topic:

Do the rest of the band feel the same way as you do? If so, have you sat him down and all had a talk about it? Don't give him an ultimatum straight away or anything, but if you tell him how you feel (that it's detracting from the band, becoming a serious issue etc) and ask him to consider the rest of the band, he should sort it out. If he continues to be a problem after that then tell him he has to change it within, say, a month, and if he fails to comply he's out. If he cares about the band more than pot he'll get his priorities in order.

Definitely don't quit if the rest of the band agree with you. If he's the issue there's no point in you suffering because of it. If they're all potheads with the same priorities as him and don't understand your predicament then it might be time to think about getting a new band....or getting yourself a nasty weed habit

Communication is key. Good luck.
My name is Danny. Call me that.
#15
at least its just a buying issue... common sense is you don't smoke, drink, or suck **** before a show so you have a good voice and my singer does 2 out of the 3.... weed included with smoking... its disguting how he doesnt take pride in sounded good like the rest of us.. you don't play an instrument full go without warming up... and you don't do it with strings tied on your fingers cutting off circulation.. so why wouldnt he take the same precautions..
#16
^ Now you've just got me wondering if your singer drinks or not
My name is Danny. Call me that.
#17
Quote by iFire
Don't quit man, don't be a quitter. Quitters are lame, and you're not the lame one; he is. Tell him how he feels until he either wants to better himself, or he wants to quit himself. Sounds like he should. You'd kinda be better off if he's gonna keep acting like that. Leave nothing out man, tell him how you REALLY feel, and if he hates you for it, so what? TELL HIM. Convince him, to either quit or look at the band and tell them he can't be a good 'leader/singer' Hah. Don't be a quitter, bud.

^ i have nothing against the advice your giving
but possibly sounds like a motivational speech and comes across patronising; just a word of warning
as everyone has said
talk to him about it say that it's affecting the band ask him to cut down or prioritise the band over it if not kick him out and find yourself a new vocalist
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#18
make all your songs about weed and name your band something having to do with weed.

Then he'll work for it.
#20
Quote by SKAtastic7770
This is why my band is straight edge. Try it, it works wonders for our productivity.


Fixed.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but you cannot reason from your own personal experience with drugs to how people will generally be affected. A lot of people, yes, will be lazy and unproductive if they're using drugs, even only lightly/recreationally. A lot of other people will be much happier and more productive if they can relax with recreational drug use. And a lot of other people will be equally as productive with or without any kind of recreational drug, legal or not.

The only study I can remember reading, by the way, that made a statistical analysis of recreational cannabis use as versus yearly income (which you could roughly correlate with productivity in this context) found that there was no correlation - repeat, that's no correlation - between level of recreational cannabis use and yearly salary barring those users in the heaviest use band.

I haven't seen any other similar studies with other recreational drugs, but I imagine that they'd be pretty much the same for most drugs - the vast, vast majority of drug users (whether they use alcohol, cannabis, mdma, whatever) don't use the drug often enough or heavily enough to intefere with other aspects of their lives - in fact, their drug use actually benefits other areas of their lives by providing them with pleasure.
Quote by Ed O'Brien
“It’s not genius. It’s just that if you want something good to come out of something, you have to put in a lot of effort. That involves a lot of hard work, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears sometimes.”

http://urbanscarecrow.bandcamp.com/
#22
Quote by Damascus
Fixed.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but you cannot reason from your own personal experience with drugs to how people will generally be affected. A lot of people, yes, will be lazy and unproductive if they're using drugs, even only lightly/recreationally. A lot of other people will be much happier and more productive if they can relax with recreational drug use. And a lot of other people will be equally as productive with or without any kind of recreational drug, legal or not.

The only study I can remember reading, by the way, that made a statistical analysis of recreational cannabis use as versus yearly income (which you could roughly correlate with productivity in this context) found that there was no correlation - repeat, that's no correlation - between level of recreational cannabis use and yearly salary barring those users in the heaviest use band.

I haven't seen any other similar studies with other recreational drugs, but I imagine that they'd be pretty much the same for most drugs - the vast, vast majority of drug users (whether they use alcohol, cannabis, mdma, whatever) don't use the drug often enough or heavily enough to intefere with other aspects of their lives - in fact, their drug use actually benefits other areas of their lives by providing them with pleasure.


+1
#23
Quote by Damascus
Fixed.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but you cannot reason from your own personal experience with drugs to how people will generally be affected. A lot of people, yes, will be lazy and unproductive if they're using drugs, even only lightly/recreationally. A lot of other people will be much happier and more productive if they can relax with recreational drug use. And a lot of other people will be equally as productive with or without any kind of recreational drug, legal or not.

The only study I can remember reading, by the way, that made a statistical analysis of recreational cannabis use as versus yearly income (which you could roughly correlate with productivity in this context) found that there was no correlation - repeat, that's no correlation - between level of recreational cannabis use and yearly salary barring those users in the heaviest use band.

I haven't seen any other similar studies with other recreational drugs, but I imagine that they'd be pretty much the same for most drugs - the vast, vast majority of drug users (whether they use alcohol, cannabis, mdma, whatever) don't use the drug often enough or heavily enough to intefere with other aspects of their lives - in fact, their drug use actually benefits other areas of their lives by providing them with pleasure.

I agree with your post for the most part but I want to point out that you made some pretty sweeping generalizations there at the end. Also, I don't think that short-term pleasure is always a good thing because people can use it to escape from their long-term problems and that's obviously not healthy behavior. But ya, your post has some merit but I don't think it's fair for you to call out someone for making generalizations and then for you to make your own, especially on that last point.
#24
Tell him to quit or stop doing it before practices or he's out, don't quit because one of the guys is a dumb ass. Kick him out if he won't.
#25
Quote by shortyafter
I agree with your post for the most part but I want to point out that you made some pretty sweeping generalizations there at the end. Also, I don't think that short-term pleasure is always a good thing because people can use it to escape from their long-term problems and that's obviously not healthy behavior. But ya, your post has some merit but I don't think it's fair for you to call out someone for making generalizations and then for you to make your own, especially on that last point.


We're probably better taking this to PM, because once we start getting into debate about drugs and productivity (as opposed to how they relate this this TSer's problem) we're derailing the thread a bit. If you want to PM me, go ahead - I'm not sure exactly what you mean. This:

"the vast, vast majority of drug users (whether they use alcohol, cannabis, mdma, whatever) don't use the drug often enough or heavily enough to intefere with other aspects of their lives"

Is backed up by the stats - the majority of cannabis, alcohol, even cocaine users (something like 95% of all people who have ever tried cocaine, seriously) never have a problem with the drugs or become addicted to them. I think the most recent referenced, stuff about this kind of thing was here:
http://www.tdpf.org.uk/AboutUs_Publications.htm

And this:
"in fact, their drug use actually benefits other areas of their lives by providing them with pleasure."

Isn't a generalisation - it follows logically from the first point ^^. If the majority of drug users don't experience serious problems through their drug use and they enjoy their drug use, then they obviously benefit from it. It's nothing to do with short-term pleasure vs. escaping from long-term problems, it's the fact that the majority of people who use legal and illegal drugs enjoy doing so and never suffer serious side-effects from doing so.

If that clears it up, cool. If not, PM me.
Quote by Ed O'Brien
“It’s not genius. It’s just that if you want something good to come out of something, you have to put in a lot of effort. That involves a lot of hard work, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears sometimes.”

http://urbanscarecrow.bandcamp.com/
#26
Nah it's cool dude I'm not gonna argue with stats, I just thought you were making generalizations of your own. Glad to see you have some facts.

So yeah, +1 to what you said earlier. I think the key is just to find out what works for your band.
#27
Quote by superfish1232
^ i have nothing against the advice your giving
but possibly sounds like a motivational speech and comes across patronising; just a word of warning
as everyone has said
talk to him about it say that it's affecting the band ask him to cut down or prioritise the band over it if not kick him out and find yourself a new vocalist


I can't patronize people I don't know... Only give advise the best way possible. I'm an over-acheiver when I try and I'm only TRYING to help. If he wants to take it as patronizing, then I guess he won't be listening as good as he should. I'm adjuring him... Not trying to make him feel stupid. If you surround yourself with smart people, then you'll ultimately become smarter... I'm not saying anyone is stupid, I'm just smart. I know that, and hopefully you know you're smart too. I'm good at motivating people, when they actually listen to the words I have to say. I say them out of love, not anything. I only want people to better themselves and if they listen to my words, then I think they will. If they don't want to listen, or listen to only some of my words, then that's THEIR problem, IMO. We all have different views, opinions and thoughts.. I'm only sharing mine. I don't really see that as wrong, I am trying to motivate, not encumber, so please don't view it as such, bud. :]
#28
People having an intelligent conversation on the internet?

Wow. I'd better look outside to make sure the world's not ending...

...Oh wait, it is. Dammit.
#29
I've really been trying to avoid this thread, because I do not want any of you to misinterpret what I have to say.

To the TS, hopefully your band mate is just in an experimental phase, and he will get it under control. It seems that when many people try a new "substance", they tend to over do it, but can regain control. Some can't. That is when you should be more concerned. I'm not a person who buys into weed as a gateway drug. People who go beyond weed, often have a more serious problem of some sort. I also believe that some people are predisposed(possibly genetically)to addiction. If he goes too far, and you want to be a good friend, tell him he's going too far. You may not be able to stop him, but at least you know you tried.

Just one other thing. His life is his responsibility. You can try to help, but don't blame yourself if you can't. That's all, I hope you know what I mean.
#31
Quote by Twixted
i seriously don't know why people get worked up over trivial little grammar mistakes.
We are NOT in school people, cut the guy some slack!


+50000

Weed is great. But I have a friend like that who is now getting really into it. He cuts out on me alot now and it pisses me off, and I try to get him to cut down but it doesn't seem to work. Talk to him, and just tell him straight up how you feel. Give him an option.
Good luck, man.
#32
WOHOO YEA MAN LEGALISE WEED MAN.. he sounds like a bloody pain. Theres a limit between use and abuse. If him smoking brings down the entire band, affects his spare time, and maybe even his personality, that is over the fine line between good smoking and bad smoking.

It's easy as that. Tell him to smoke less, it's all you can really do. And if he starts spewing out some left wing politics crap when you do, ensure him that it's only because it's bringing ye all down. And if that doesn't work.. Steal his weed and smoke it from him. And then tell him "Brothers share". mehehehee.
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#33
Well first of all, smoking weed isnt gonna make him sound bad. At least not 100% guaranteed that he will. Some people are able to relax more and therefore sing better, it depends on the individual though.

I say tell him something along the lines of him coming to practice, and then smoking after. Honestly, I've never understood the whole deal of ditching your friends when you want to get high.
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