#1
not super common from what I've seen. what do you guys think of it? is it really different? is the possibility of sexual tension/romance/feelings/complications strong, or is that just a cliche? why aren't there more girls rocking out, anyway?

speaking from my own experience as a girl ... I was in a band a couple years ago as the only female and it was fine. no problems, though the band only lasted a few months as I recall. but the band I'm in now... well, I kind of fell for the singer, and he has a thing for me I guess you could say, but he is in a committed relationship, and we have done things that could potentially cause a lot of problems. and i have to admit part of the attraction is to his voice and the way we click when we jam together...

anyway, I'm not trying to turn this into the relationship thread, I was just wondering what everyone else's thoughts and experiences were. also would love to hear from any girls on the board about why rock is so male-dominated and if you are treated any differently as a girl in a band.
#2
Guys in bands pull enough puntang to not worry about the girls in the band.
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#5
What happens in practise, stays in practise.
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#6
Rock is male dominated because of the history behind it, I believe. Rock 'n' Roll was pretty much the White Man's response to the Black Man's Blues. In that era Men and Women still had their stereotypical "places". The Man, the provider; The Woman, the house-wife. I guess that with Women starting to assert their position in society more from the 60's onwards they have become more and more prominent in rock.

A previous band I was in had a female singer. In that situation nothing happened between her or any of our band members. Our bassist was very attracted to her, but understood the problems it could lead to if the relationship wasn't kept outside the band. So he made the decision not to make a move. For him it was a good decision as he met somebody else, and the band continued (we split up later for other issues). So in a band you've got to decide what you want. Some people can manage a relationship within a band situation, but I would guess that is a minority.

If two band members are seeing each other and are in that "honeymoon" period of a relationship they are going to want to spend more time with each other when at practice, they are less likely to challenge their partner when a decision is to be made that will affect the band. All this can make the other band members feel pushed out and some bad decisions can be made. Then when the happy couple have arguments that will cause tension within the band. If a band can withstand all this, then I commend them.

As for your situation. If you and you singer have done some things that could cause problems, I don't see how his relationship is committed to start with. Then you just need to ask yourself what you want and if you think you could handle being in a band together. For most I would guess the initial answer would be "yes, we can be in a band together" but you need to think about it in the long term and then also how it affects the other band members.

People are all diiferent and will deal with situations differently so there is no solid answer to your first question. The possiblility of sexual tension\romance\feelings\complications may or may not be strong. It's not a cliche though, just human nature.
#7
Myshadow46_2 has handled this one. NIce work.

Im just gonna say if you pursue any kind of relationship with a band mate then its gonna cos some sort of tension, somewhere at some point. If your committed to the band then you'll shut off your relationship when it comes to band matters and stuff. Other members will feel threatened by your connection
#8
Quote by Myshadow46_2

As for your situation. If you and you singer have done some things that could cause problems, I don't see how his relationship is committed to start with. Then you just need to ask yourself what you want and if you think you could handle being in a band together. For most I would guess the initial answer would be "yes, we can be in a band together" but you need to think about it in the long term and then also how it affects the other band members.



well it only happened once so thus far there haven't been any problems, in band practice or our friendship. but given his relationship status, it shouldn't have happened at all. I guess I don't really understand how people in a relationship can cheat...but that's a whole different topic and not why I made this thread :P

but yeah, good response.
#9
There seems to be a strong link between gender and genre in bands. A girls voice in pop, folk, country and some 80's rock seems to give a band that extra lift. I'm not sure that would hold true with Death Metal.
Working with a girl in a band is great. Far less practice time is wasted with drinking beer/smoking pot/discussing in detail what you'd do with the latest bimbo. Not that any of those are exclusively male pursuits.
But there is a shortage of girl musicians. Maybe the old lines of 'it hurts my wrist' and 'I can't keep that tempo going' also apply in playing instruments beyond flute and violin. It used to be easier to find girl players when most bands had a keyboard player. Then that got all technical and appealed only to the programmer types. male domination again.
Relationships within a band are like those in any other workplace. Best kept for after hours etc. That said, I have never come across any great problems that way. If a band are professional enough to play for money, they should be able to deal with any sexual tensions that could arise. And, for the record, the drummer (male) in my first band got an impossible crush on a bassist we brought in (male). That was interesting when we were 15.
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#11
Women in bands is a good thing, it just becomes complicated when you have relationships in bands.

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Surly Fleetwood Mac have had so many different line ups because of their dysfunctionality.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Dec 7, 2009,
#12
Quote by Lurcher
There seems to be a strong link between gender and genre in bands. A girls voice in pop, folk, country and some 80's rock seems to give a band that extra lift. I'm not sure that would hold true with Death Metal.
.


yeah i have noticed the genre thing too, and you do see a decent amount of females in "indie" rock I suppose, but what I've noticed is that the female is almost always the vocalist. bass seems to be the second most common. not too many chick guitarists or drummers, and not a lot of girls in metal... i suppose heavy music is sort of testosterone-y by default.
#13
I can actually think of a whole lot of bands with at least one female band member. It's not that difficult to understand why there are less girls in rock and metal. It's a very male-orientated genre because the music suits men and softer music in general suits women more. That's just a basic generalisation but from my experience it's just easier to play with all guys. I also greatly prefer male voices, unless they're done with metaphorical balls (i.e. Doro)

You should feel lucky TS, you're about twice as likely to get into a band and attract a larger audience than any of us
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#14
Quote by isabiggles
I also greatly prefer male voices


funnily enough I do too :p

Quote by isabiggles
You should feel lucky TS, you're about twice as likely to get into a band and attract a larger audience than any of us


do you think so? i suppose a girl playing guitar in progressive metal band is kinda different; i don't know how much it really matters though, like if it would actually help in getting signed and getting gigs, or if it's rather irrelevant. if we're ever successful as a band it would be purely in a niche market, so I dunno how much being female helps with that.
#15
Girls in a band = Problems for me

I always end up attracted to the girl and feeling like shit.
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Last edited by urik at Dec 7, 2009,
#16
Quote by bonesofghosts
funnily enough I do too :p


do you think so? i suppose a girl playing guitar in progressive metal band is kinda different; i don't know how much it really matters though, like if it would actually help in getting signed and getting gigs, or if it's rather irrelevant. if we're ever successful as a band it would be purely in a niche market, so I dunno how much being female helps with that.


Why do you think Female fronted symphonic metal bands have such large fanbases even though most of them are incredibly mediocre? Trust me, being a female and playing music gives you an instant advantage over male musicians as people will actually stop and notice you.

Anyone who actually thinks that this is wrong.. go search female guitarist (or something similar) into youtube and look at how many comments/ratings they get in comparison with a male guitarist who may be of the same standard or even better.
Quote by the_white_bunny
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#17
well hey, Thurston Moore, the singer of Sonic Youth, and Kim Gordon the bassist got married Sounds like a fairy tale ending to me
Last edited by btones at Dec 7, 2009,
#18
Quote by btones
well hey, Thurston Moore, the singer of Sonic Youth, and Kim Gordon the bassist got married Sounds like a fairy tale ending to me



That was a rare equilibrium of awesomeness at home and at band practice though, its a rare case.
#19
It causes problems sometimes. Especially if you're romantically interested in another bandmember. But if you can find a way around that, having a girl in the band does help you get noticed for obvious reasons
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#20
I'm an old dude, so my references are dated, but I've always liked strong women in bands. Joan Jett, Chrissie Hynde, Tina Weymouth, and quite a few more come immediately to mind.
Oops I almost forgot Wendy O. Girls/women, can be great in a band. If you have a strong sense of who you are, and what you want to do, you'll be fine.

As for romances in the band, I'm too old and too committed to my girl to care about that stuff.
#21
I was in a band with a lesbian, and a bisexual chick who was going out with the drummer who was a guy (that was tons of fun).

I don't think as long as you're professional and take the matter seriously you'll have no problems.

It becomes a problem if you ignore it. If you get the problem out in the open, it can't hurt anybody.
#22
romances in bands often spell disaster but thats only because if you disagree about a band issues it can overflow into the relationship. also a lot of guys become whipped in bands if there in a relationship with members and this means there opinion is occasionally biased to promote the relationship. Anyone remember that thread a week or so ago about a guy who wanted to kick his overweight bassist out because his girlfriend said so?
perfect example of how things can go.

Personally rock and metal are male dominated because they originated in a patriachal time and it's just stuck sort of like being brought up that rock bands should be all male it's a schema that you associate with it always nice to see something new in genres though
Possibly it could be that talented male singers are harder to come by so often more appreciated? A supply and demand business it seems. It seems female fronted bands either become really successful eg evanescence and paramore ( modern rock ones not perfect examples) or sink into obscurity or never make it.
hope this is helpful
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#23
My band consists of 3 guys and 2 girls. So, our singer and bassist are chicks.
It doesn't really change much, actually. Us guys have already made an agreement not to try and go after any of the girls, and it's been well respected thus far (there was one incidence however, but the other way around)
I've never been in an all-male band so, I don't really know what that's like.
But its all good.

Edit: There's this other band that I know (sort of our contemporaries) and the lead singer is dating the lead guitarist. Can't wait to see how that turns out for the band.
Last edited by its_alive at Dec 7, 2009,
#24
Personally, i've been in one band with a girl, and the drummer kind of fell for her. We broke up soon after. So i mean, i guess that things can always work out, but generally you shouldn't boff your bandmates.
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#26
I wish there were more woman in music, definatly. There especially seems to be a shortage of really good guitarists/drummers. We need more Wata's from Boris.
#27
my band now has a girl drummer and she doesn't even seem to a big white stripes fan
no way
#28
Unfortunately, girls in the metal industry are often seen as gimmicks (in my experience any way.) However, I would love to see more chicks in bands, if not just to prove to everyone that Hayley Williams isn't the most talented girl ever to walk the face of the Earth (hopefully I haven't offended anyone that likes Para*****.)
#29
to make the band fair you really need to wh0re it out and sleep with all the members.


kidding! kidding...
I'm starting a new band with a chick, and I don't have any problems with it... then again, I'm married and want to stay that way
If my bandmates started fvcking each other... hmmm... maybe that would be weird, unless I got to watch.
...the again, all the bands I've been in thus far have for the most part been full of dog shit ugly dudes. that would not be fun to watch.
post some naked pics, we'll let you know if it's ok or not.
Last edited by GrisKy at Dec 11, 2009,
#30
Unless you've been in music for a long time and are kinda professional.. Then don't do it. Tensions are sure to rise. Many say no, but really. ESPECIALLY if it's a teenage band (Everyone is under 25), then don't go.. It's almost certain that it will end up bad..

Or you all pounding a slut, but i'd say thats bad too.. Bloody hell i hate slutty women. EWW!

Why do women have no honor or dignity?! oh yes, that's right, they have boobs, making them think they're above that.. GRRR..
FUCK YOU ALL!

666 BLACK METAL HOLOCAUST!!!!!
#31
My last band had a female singer who was actually my ex. She was an amazing singer, and sort of like a sister to me (we'd been great friends before we dated, and after the whole post-breakup tension went away, became even closer), and making music with her was one of the most satisfying experiences i've ever had in my life, and still turn to her for advice with my lyrics and songs, as well as have had her do guest vocals and co-write a few songs with me.

The band DID fall apart, mainly due to our rhythm guitarist hitting on her relentlessly, even after he'd ****ing MET HER BOYFRIEND. Needless to say, we gave him the boot.

After we did that, our singer had to quit due to an extreme amount of stress at school, family issues, and emotional stress over her cat coming close to dying.

It should be noted that the two of us had been in a band with a revolving cast for about 3 years before everything went downhill. We started with her on vocals, me on bass, my friend on lead and my other on rhythm, and some kid we knew on drums. the drummer and rhythm player left, we got my friend to play drums. The drummer and lead left, we brought in the creepy guy on just general guitar, and a different friend of mine for drums. Later I decided to switch to lead, we got a mutual friend of mine and the singer's for bass, and everything was going well with that until shit hit the fan.

Moral of the story is, having a female member in a band, no matter what their position, can work pretty damned well, if the correct chemistry is there with the rest of the band.
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#32
Quote by iwannabesedated
I was in a band with a lesbian, and a bisexual chick who was going out with the drummer who was a guy (that was tons of fun).

I don't think as long as you're professional and take the matter seriously you'll have no problems.


In a situation like that you CAN'T be professional!
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#33
wanna know how I know you're gay? you said:

Quote by Northernmight
...you all pounding a slut, but i'd say thats bad too.. Bloody hell i hate slutty women. EWW!

Why do women have no honor or dignity?! oh yes, that's right, they have boobs, making them think they're above that.. GRRR..


#34
I've played with 2 girl singers in my time as a guitarist. Infatuated by both of them. Definitely because when we're playing, I can just sit and listen to them sing for hours.
#35
Eh, I was the only dude in a half formed band about 4 months ago. The only problem we had auditions and we got a few creepy guys who liked to look at boobs. Other than that we had no problems.
#36
Just don't make it at all romantic and it should be like just having friends of the opposite sex. Sure the attraction is a possibility but no (musical) benefit will come from having a relationship/having sex.

I wonder if boy bands have the same problem?
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#37
Quote by btones
well hey, Thurston Moore, the singer of Sonic Youth, and Kim Gordon the bassist got married Sounds like a fairy tale ending to me


Kim is a singer too!

Lee too, for that matter
#38
Quote by willT08
I've played with 2 girl singers in my time as a guitarist. Infatuated by both of them. Definitely because when we're playing, I can just sit and listen to them sing for hours.


when the hell did this place get so gay???

and for the record, there is nothing creepy about looking at boobs. as a guy, I'm telling you, that's what we do!

...unless you actually are gay... then I guess you look at dudes' butts or something
#39
ITT: TS did her singer and now feels guilty about being the "other girl".
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