#1
First time posting here. No melody or anything or this yet, just looking for opinions. Think this is worth developing? It's about taking political music too seriously or aggressively.

If every naive kid
Took PETA's agenda to heart,
We'd see a difference
'till some jackass
Tore the whole thing apart
Misread the situation
and gave into frustration
Forgot how to love and
Started preaching hate.

If every song about war
Was just sand, blood and gore
We'd raise our fists and sneer
We've got nothing to cheer
We cast aside all compassion
Drew a line, formed a faction
Set aside what we've done
Brothers and sisters,
What the **** have we become?

They've got our balls in their vice
So I'll keep this concise
Quit raising fists for musicians.
Cos if we are what we believe
Then the kids are loaded guns.
Quote by Marcel Veltman
Being a rather mediocre musician myself, I'm all on the hand of Haanz.

Guitar:
MIM '09 Fender Telecaster
Laney VC15-110 Old English White '10
Freshman FOP1DN Acoustic

Bass:
Ibanez SRX590
Laney RB4
Tech21 SansAmp BassDriver DI
Boss ODB-3
Last edited by Haanz at Dec 7, 2009,
#3
If every song about war
Was just sand, blood and gore
We'd raise our fists and sneer
We've got nothing to cheer
^awkward, revise this part, but don't scrap it. its cool, just read weirdly for me.

overall, i like. this is supposed to be a punk rock song?
#4
Thanks for the comments. I'll probably be composing it, but other than the very loose rhythm of the verses and some mental-guitar, I've no idea how it'll sound yet.

Yeah, the song about war bit is probably the clumsiest, certainly in terms of rhythm. I've been tinkering with it for a while but I reckon it'll be the last part of the song I finally get right.

It'll probably end up a melodic hardcore punk rock song along the lines of Paint it Black with a fast and simple verse riff and something slower and punchier for the last one, though if that fails I'll probably take a different route altogether and make the verses simple and bass-oriented with noisy guitar piece between verses.
Quote by Marcel Veltman
Being a rather mediocre musician myself, I'm all on the hand of Haanz.

Guitar:
MIM '09 Fender Telecaster
Laney VC15-110 Old English White '10
Freshman FOP1DN Acoustic

Bass:
Ibanez SRX590
Laney RB4
Tech21 SansAmp BassDriver DI
Boss ODB-3
Last edited by Haanz at Dec 7, 2009,