#1
Just post witty things you said during the day
in health we were talking about STD's and each group was supposed to say just one \and a girl in my group said two.the teacher told her and the girl said more is always better where i interject not when your talking about STDs!

go
Quote by JacobTheMe
Yeah, the movie was complete tat.

Avoid, unless you enjoy ruining things that you enjoy.


You can call me Cam, Cameron, or any other variation
Mortal Enemies with Primus2112
And everybody's singin'la, la la la, la la la
#2
You're so witty!



I hate bragging about things that I say that I assume are the funniest things ever.
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#5
Yeah, at school I was super witty and funny and everybody liked me and everybody wanted to sex me and everybody gave me money!
#8
Some guy said "I said a really witty thing earlier", and I told him to go f*ck himself.
#12
Λ

Soon...

OT: This thread fails.
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#13
OLOL there is this douchebag who is constnatly like "Loulz I'm rich!!!" and he was making fun of my frieend saying "YOU're poooor" and he'd beeen doing it for a loong ntime and my friend was finallyly like "At least I don't have to buy my friends, Taylor. " and before the lamme rich kid could reply I was lyke "NO, he doens't. His parents buy his friends." LOLOLO LOLOL OLOLL cuz it's not his money it's his paarents!!! OLOL


/true story.
The playground of the world
#15
this thread kills brain cells.
Quote by wlcm2themachine
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?





Quote by ChemicalFire
You sir, are a god amongst men



MY GEAR:
...apparently, i have too much. i cant list it without going over the character limit.
#16
Quote by Eddie4President
OLOL there is this douchebag who is constnatly like "Loulz I'm rich!!!" and he was making fun of my frieend saying "YOU're poooor" and he'd beeen doing it for a loong ntime and my friend was finallyly like "At least I don't have to buy my friends, Taylor. " and before the lamme rich kid could reply I was lyke "NO, he doens't. His parents buy his friends." LOLOLO LOLOL OLOLL cuz it's not his money it's his paarents!!! OLOL


/true story.

Thread over, guise.
#17
Quote by Eddie4President
OLOL there is this douchebag who is constnatly like "Loulz I'm rich!!!" and he was making fun of my frieend saying "YOU're poooor" and he'd beeen doing it for a loong ntime and my friend was finallyly like "At least I don't have to buy my friends, Taylor. " and before the lamme rich kid could reply I was lyke "NO, he doens't. His parents buy his friends." LOLOLO LOLOL OLOLL cuz it's not his money it's his paarents!!! OLOL


/true story.


i read that in the voice of the foreign guy who makes jokes from family guy. much better



PSN: reldask
PSN: reldask
PSN: reldask
PSN: reldask
#18
LOLZ !! 1 day i planted my face on a book bcuz i wus bored at schol nad sum1 said "lol dont facepalm" then i was liek "LOL im not facepalming im facebookin!!"
Quote by Zero-Hartman
I just Google "Elephant penis", and was strangely aroused.



Apparently, I'm a good shitter

Quote by TomusAM
jonne.i just took the best dump I ever seen
#19
One time me and these girls were having a smoke on a deck outside somewhere and they were telling really boring, lame jokes. So I asked if they wanted to hear an inside joke, and upon their confirmation, just walked inside.


I laughed about it for like an hour.
Quote by herby190
At post number 11, all that has been established in this thread is UG's feelings on kittens.
#20
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Some guy said he thought Pac-Man was the best game ever to which I replied.

'I disagree, I think it a very good game. But the best game ever is Donkey Kong'
To which they replied
'What? Donkey Kong sucks.'
To which I replied
'Yeah, well you know what. YOU SUCK.'

Then I got the chloroform rag and brought them back to the van.

It was actually Mortal Kombat not pac-man.
#21
I say too many.

But when I can't think of anything funny I say 'There's an app for that', even if it doesn' make sense.
Last edited by CrimsonBizzare at Dec 7, 2009,
#22
Quote by soadguitarfan
One time me and these girls were having a smoke on a deck outside somewhere and they were telling really boring, lame jokes. So I asked if they wanted to hear an inside joke, and upon their confirmation, just walked inside.


I laughed about it for like an hour.

#23
This 4ft guy in my year started insulting me, don't know if what i said was witty but meh....

:

4ft guy(to my friend) : You're so dumb you can't even do 2 + 2!

Me: If he's so dumb, why is he in top set and you're not?

4ft: Shut up you little freak

Me: Looked in the mirror?

4ft: Shuddup, you've got big hair

Me: Well done, you've got eyes







.......I didn't find it funny either not witty
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#26
Quote by diminishedtobme
There is this horse faced girl and whenever she says something, I say "nay". Is that witty?

Totally.
#27
Quote by diminishedtobme
There is this horse faced girl and whenever she says something, I say "nay". Is that witty?


Well that's going to give her self esteem a boost
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#28
one single line........."THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
Some people just wanna watch the world burn. Wanna join me when I take my turn to pour the gas, light the match, see your world flip upside down and drop until it's inside out?
#30
^THIS. although he would never get the chance to be witty without balderick's awesome logics
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#31
Him- "Your mom"
Me- "Your face"
Him- "Your grandma"
Me- "Your mom"
Him- "I already used that one"
Me- "So did I"


So much wittiness, I could barely contain myself afterwards.
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#32
It's all about situation. They won't be as funny over the internet... But generally I don't think I'm as witty as I used to be.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.