Copypasta'd from my the Youtube description:

So, this is my first song that I've went all the way with recording, editing, etc. The only thing I haven't done is a vocal track, and to be honest, I don't really have any words to go with it either. I'll just call it an instrumental for now, until I write the lyrics. The guitars were recorded by me, the bass line is a pitch shifted guitar recorded by me, and the drums were created using an open source program called Hydrogen. Please don't criticize me for the drums, I realize that I'm not a drummer . I left it short and sweet and it gets more interesting as the track progresses. If anyone is interested in recording a vocal track or a new drum track, then by all means shoot me a message and I'd be glad to use it and credit you! Hope you enjoy!

Comments? Opinions?

Really what I'm looking for is constructive criticism, not "Oh, that little tiny bit was out of time and that was an awful tone" etc. Thanks!
Quote by peacemaker898
Oh, where is it.


But really, where is it?

I think its over there....
i personally didnt think it was too good. no offense to you, but i dont think the solo fit in at all. The acousic parts seemed a bit dull/boring but that could change with great lyrics and a great voice. However, i felt like the acoustic was a mellow song possibly about love or family/friends/happiness, but then the solo kicked in and other than the fact that it was a bit sloppy, it seemed like a holier than thou, show off, try to be badass solo. I think if yoou just re-do the solo to make it fit in much better and then throw in great lyrics, then youll have a pretty good song. sorry, but i didnt really like it as is. keep workin at it though. first song almost never turns out great
It's ok. Tbh it's a really bad sounding mix. I like the guitar work but the tone is bad (I mean from the fingers, not the amp). Try a string dampener to help the quality of the recording (I know some people would say to learn better technique but sometimes even with perfect technique there is unwanted sounds, and you don't have to do so many retakes).
Last edited by tenfold at Dec 7, 2009,
Could you elaborate a little bit on the "bad tone from fingers" thing? I'm kind of confused. Thanks for the feedback everyone, keep it coming! Only way to get better is to get torn up and muscle your way through it right?
Like the optimism But yeah I like the song. Of course the recording can be a bit stronger but not all of us have the means to great recording gear eh? You might try a program like FL Studios if you want a really easy way to add midi drums (that sound nice and can be modified to taste). Anways, with whatever mixing software you use, you might try to notch the EQ''s to give each instrument its own place in the song. This will make it all breath and really..sparkle so to speak. Overall good job though!

C4C- https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1242151
Quote by Trivium1224
Could you elaborate a little bit on the "bad tone from fingers" thing?

Good tone usually comes from the fingers, i.e., how hard you press down, where between the frets you push down, what part of the finger you use, whether you accidentally bend the string, etc.
As you've probably heard, famous guitar players talk about how anyone else could play their guitar and rig, and even not sound like them.
It's explained in good detail in Eric Johnson's video The Fine Art Of Guitar.
for some criticism as a guitar player, work on your bends. its really an ear based thing otherwise you're just bending the guitar out of key. it takes time and effort and isnt something that can be learned, just gained through experience.
If you don't talk to your kids about GAS, who will?
sounds really good for your first try, reminded me of some John Frusciante's solo stuff, the solo tone didnt fit at all. maybe with a crunchy tone, less heavy. I like the acoustic guitars and the drums fit well. vocals would go well with this, because overall its a pretty simple and repetitive song. The mix needs a lot of work, but you'll learn about that the more you record. This is good for a first recording, but they only get better, bc it takes a long time to even have a sense of what your doing, and even longer to apply it. so keep up the good work

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1241572
My Gear

Epiphone Les Paul Standard
Epiphone Elitist Paul Mccartney Texan
Orange Tiny Terror
Vox Valvetronix AD 30
Vox V847 Wah
Metal Muff EQ (broken )
Boss RC-2 Loop pedal

Me playing
Quote by Harlot Hero
It's alright. I agree with "work on your bends" and the solo really didn't fit the song at all.

Though...I do love your little Houdini act you pulled off.

What Houdini act? Lol, I'm a little confused...
Quote by Trivium1224
What Houdini act? Lol, I'm a little confused...

idk... i think their just trying to confuse u now lol :P
i was expecting a metal fest....but didn't get one. oh well on to the track.
it wasn't bad and i can't fault your playing, and as for personal tone from fingers.......well maybe thats yours right there in the song. but on the other hand it wasn't great, everything was maybe a little too stock.....nothing really grabs the listener.
but music is a personal thing and reflects how your feeling at a point in time when you write it and in that respect .........ah crap i'm rambling.......
C4C? if you could that would be cool
Pretty standard stuff, really. With acoustic songs like these, it's gotta have a vocal line or a melody or something for the listener to grab on to. No one likes to listen to 4 chords over and over. I know you said you were working on lyrics, so keep on that, haha. Also, the solo tone was really out of place...take the gain down a bit.

The point behind the first few original songs for any person is just practice, though. You've gotten over the first big hump in songwriting. Now just keep at it...try writing new songs, etc.

Also, the picture in the video is funny.
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?