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#1
Im trying to chat this girl up and am trying to think of a polite way to describe her heaving bosom. i keep thinking of an old english phrase its on the tip of my tongue.
#2
"I'm a sexual predator; report me to the police now. Also, I'm really desperate."
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Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
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Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#5
Quote by Karvid
"I'm a sexual predator; report me to the police now. Also, I'm really desperate."



she is 24
#10
Why not go with a non-pervy approach?
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#11
I'm not a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater, if it helps.
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#12
You could go biblical, quoting Song of Solomon 7:3 "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins."

haha
All hail the BaartMan.

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#13
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
Im trying to chat this girl up and am trying to think of a polite way to describe her heaving bosom. i keep thinking of an old english phrase its on the tip of my tongue.


I find it most laughable, sir, that you are of the opinion that describing in graphic terms to a lady her ample assets will somehow make her undergarments fall off.
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
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#15
...were were being saucy about a choc cheesecake i made for her

she said what did you think when you saw me eating it

i said i imagined eating it off your heaving bosom

she says is that all....

not sure whether to tell her the truth that i wanted to be a cunning linguist.
#17
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
...were were being saucy about a choc cheesecake i made for her

she said what did you think when you saw me eating it

i said i imagined eating it off your heaving bosom

she says is that all....

not sure whether to tell her the truth that i wanted to be a cunning linguist.


Bit late now, isn't it?
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#18
"I like the way they don't have that funny blue vein that some women with big breasts have."
All hail the BaartMan.

Gear:
-Guitar
-Another guitar
-Another guitar
-Amplifier
-A few effects pedals
-Piano
-Cat
#19
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
she is 24


he didnt say pedo, he said sexual predetor!! she can be any age....
#20
Quote by Venice King
Why not go with a non-pervy approach?


+1

The way to a women's heart is NOT walking up and basicaly saying 'I like your tits'
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#21
Quote by pigeonmafia
+1

The way to a women's heart is NOT walking up and basicaly saying 'I like your tits'



well she is a dirty *****, ive just split from my long term girlfriend and ive not had sex in a month so w/e
#22
Quote by ChucklesMginty
A month? That's nothing.


+1

If it'd only been a month since I last got laid I'd be happy about it!


R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#23
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
she is 24

Sexual predators don't only go after kids.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#25
Quote by BrianApocalypse
My own personal favourite is "voluptuous mammaries".



basterd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats what i was thinking of.
#26
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
well she is a dirty *****, ive just split from my long term girlfriend and ive not had sex in a month so w/e

Tell her that when you are using the beauty of the English language.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#27
Quote by Venice King
Tell her that when you are using the beauty of the English language.



i think if i even called her a cunt in bed she would cum.
#28
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
i think if i even called her a cunt in bed she would cum.

You either have a horrible grasp of women or this one is just very messed up.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#29
Quote by Venice King
You either have a horrible grasp of women or this one is just very messed up.

I'm leaning towards him just being terrible with women. Even serious sluts like a little romance.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#30
Quote by Venice King
You either have a horrible grasp of women or this one is just very messed up.


im joking. i would buy her a bunch of flowers
#31
Quote by BrianApocalypse
My own personal favourite is "voluptuous mammaries".


This. Splendid mammaries is also a good one.
Up The Boro!
#32
Quote by Venice King
You either have a horrible grasp of women or this one is just very messed up.

I maintain that OP has an unhealthy relationship with his mother.

/scrubspsychology
Can't stop the spirits when they need you This life is more than just a read thru
#33
Bitch, your rack is delectable, knowhaI'msayin'?
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#35
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
Cunning Linguist
Steal my thunder, thou shalt not.

Meadows
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I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
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I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#38
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
she is 24


That doesn't make rape legal, sweetie
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..Bob Barker isn't dead.

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Nothing is impossible if you're on acid!

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What if the NES breaks? WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
#39
Quote by NakedBassist
That doesn't make rape legal, sweetie



you should know

she may be 24, but TS are you 12?

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#40
Quote by NoOne0507
Tell her that her breats are like the finest tusks from an elephant.


Very pale and you want to remove them so you can carve things from them? Are you a descendent of Jack The Ripper?
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
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