#1
crit4crit
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY (SO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT)

Juliet in the balcony,
With her sight on Romeo;
Please hold your fire
‘Til the end of the show…

This next song is about,
The perfect relationship,
The high fashion of choke collars.
And a sadistic little bitch.
And dirty little wh0res
That are pure as snow,
And closet freaks coming out
To dance for dollars on poles.

God they look so priceless.
Or do I mean worthless?
I always seem
To get the two confused

One last make-out session
As the ending credits roll,
Sit, stay, play dead, good boy,
Then I’m lead to an empty bowl.
I’ll be your Pavlov dog
And your leash will be my noose,
The only words in my will
Will be a song written for you.

I wrote these next couple of lines,
To fill up time in the song.
Kind of like you, baby love,
‘Til something better comes along.

The longer that I stay
Beneath these hot lights,
The more my complexion
Starts looking like Christ’s.
But why question the method
If it gets the job done?
Don’t pretend like you never
Swallowed spit to get drunk.

God you look so priceless.
Or do I mean worthless?
I always seem
To get the two confused

But get your story straight,
You must have the wrong script.
You’re not suppose to turn away
When I lean in for the kiss.
Sometimes I regret lending
A helping hand to you.
Should’ve kept it in my pocket;
Along with my wallet too.

Now here’s the part where I say,
How you break my heart every night.
And someone in the crowd shouts out,
“Story of my f*cking life!”

Well, I’m just a drama queen,
And I need to get off my high horse.
Besides fairy tale love,
Always ends in a messy divorce.

But we can settle down,
That’s what you wish.
Or we can settle for,
Friend with benefits.

Misery loves company,
And we were meant to be together.
Alright, now I’ve said my piece;
You can shoot the messenger

Bang, bang ,baby,
I’m gonna bang you.
Skibby da-beeboop,
Shobby dooby doo.
Last edited by themarsvolta at Feb 5, 2010,
#2
I read this song. Then I read it again. And one more time just so I made sure I wasnt daydreaming. You have somehow created the perfect blend of sattire, relatability, cleverness, comedic genius, and simply topics to form a song the likes of which I have not seen on this website or anywhere else for that matter. I could not even bring myself to say a single bad thing about this song. I felt that I got it eventually though it wasnt to deep that it was impossible to tell what you were saying as some works are prone to do. I congragulate you on this work, and I cannot tell you how much I look forward to one of your works in the future.

C4C? Sig.
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.
Last edited by PCADriven at Dec 8, 2009,
#3
I didn't care for how some of the images collided with each other, but I guess it's how things are in comparison to how they appear.

God you look so priceless.
Or do I mean worthless?
I always get the two confused.

This failed to strike me as clever or anything of the like.

Some verb tense changes bothered me. Is ---> will be. "I'm led to... I will be your..."

Didn't like how it was narrated to be honest. Example, "This next song is about" and "now here's the part where I say"

and at the end I'm left thinking of "Bang, Bang; my baby shot me down." not sure if that was intentional but I thought it was cool.

There is a handful of good images and clever things being said, but this didn't do it for me.
Promises meant a lot back then.
#4
I find this piece to be extremely hit and miss. There are plenty of fantastic one liners (One last make-out session As the ending credits roll) but then they seem to be preceded by either filler or lines that in no way relate to what you were just talking about (Sit, stay, play dead, good boy, Then I’m lead to an empty bowl.). I think what really hurt this song is its length. You could cut down a lot of it and it would end up being amazing. I mean do you really need the whole cliched Romeo & Juliet reference in the beginning?

Overall I still enjoyed this though.
3.5/5
I'm an asshole.