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dear robert:
do not worry about the fat, you will lose it all when puberty kicks in, then you will get fat again in college, then lose it all again through puberty 2- electric boogaloo.
go set all your pokemon cards on fire, go to the library and check out a CD by a band called Led Zeppelin, it will change your life. Do not date any girls named tiffany, both will be heartbreakers. you will meet a girl named lucy next year, do not like her. she is the embodiment of pure evil wrapped in a pretty package.
remember to love your parents no matter how abuse they may seem to be, its just for your own good.

future rob.

PS - if you ever meet a girl named allison, she's the one. do not mess things up with her.

PPS - stop dreaming of becoming a scientist, that's f*cking retarded. you will learn later that you are much better suited for law.
get used to the meds kid, you're going to be on them for the rest of your life. Oh and have fun with your friends now, because when you're eighteen, they all end up hating you for one reason or another.

-future sam.

P.S. If you don't pick up a guitar you're really not going to have any point existing in the future so get one.
Dear Sergc118,
Lose weight you fatass

-future sergc118
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Yay somebody got it!!!

Thats what i get for owning all four seasons of futurama!

Quote by Zero-Hartman
She's a fucking vampire! Hit that shit with a stake.
Dear Logan
Kick Mr. Maxwell in the balls. You want to now and you will forever. Stop wearing athletic shorts so much. You look like a douche. Get your grades up now and keep them up, forever, unless you want mom to do stuff to your bum.

-Future Logan
Put down that retarded Xbox controller and pick up a guitar now. It is way more fun and not completely gay. Also kill Chenoa now because she is going to haunt you until your senior year in High School, she wont go away. Also listen to Buckethead, Megadeth, and Vinnie Moore and put away that rap crap.

Future Mr. B.
Because deep down, I know you want to:

My Youtube Channel

Constructive criticism is always welcomed.
Dear AL

A few notes...

When you get to your second year of high school and meet that girl you are absolutely crazy about, just that while she seems nice, cute and innocent, she is in fact a frigid who re who will cause a world of misery that will follow you into college if you ever get involved with her, So, it is not worth it.

Cut your hair, and no communism is not cool.

No one believes for a second that your Pikachu edition game boy color is your cousins. We all know that you asked for it specifically

And don't do all those drugs, your future you looks back at your childish antics and laughs. Maybe if you worked a little bit harder for once I would've gotten into Harvard or Yale.

Last edited by al112987 at Dec 8, 2009,
Dear me,
There is this wonderful stuff called porn on the internet! You no longer have to just rub one out to half naked chicks in magazines and such! Just go to *this website* and have fun! You may not thank me now, since you're a bit young, but within a few months/years, you will. Also, whole hand. And make sure to use plenty of lube.
Quote by ThinLizzyFan
I love you

Who's in a bunker?
Who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
And the children first
And the children
Dear Spence,

Shit rolls down hill son, and your life spends a lot of time at the bottom of that hill.Have sex with all those girls in highschool before you go to uni and realize you have no life and time for girls. Also speaking of girls, it's guaranteed every girl you think doesn't like you does, so trust future spence and not your instincts. Except trust your instincts whne you think it's right. They will get you out of A LOT of trouble later on.

Also, start working out, unlike rob, puberty doesn't go well for you...
Dear Taylor,

I know it seems rough right now. Don't fret the custody battle, it will work in your favor. Actually, many things will work out in your favor. Don't get too down on yourself. When you go to the new school next year, just be yourself, your plan of trying to be cool to get girls doesn't work. Freshman year don't attempt suicide, when you meet a girl named Savannah Proctor be nice to her, she's the best we've got. Don't be so horny, it will wear off eventually.

Future you
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
Dear, Mike

"Take the Blue pill"

- Future Mike
Quote by Scutchington
I like this guy, he's UG's Greek, and he just told your ass in two paragraphs. And I once spent 5 minutes watching his avatar.

A Brain Malfunction

We'll Never Admit As Defeat
Dear J,

In 6 years from now, you will be living the other side of the World in New Zealand. Keep your grades high like ever, and you will be fine. Also, keep listening to Linkin Park, and in a few years you will love bands such as August Burns Red.

When you meet that girl in year 10, you will hit love. And it will hurt after. Just do what feels right, you know better than anyone else.

RIP Tom Searle.
You know that guitar in the closet? Play it. And start listening to Tommy Emmanuel now for inspiration.
Quote by Ur all $h1t
On public transport I furiously masturbate while trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible for as long as possible.
your sig is oddly fitting for this thread O_O

Quote by tayroar
Dear Taylor,

I know it seems rough right now. Don't fret the custody battle, it will work in your favor. Actually, many things will work out in your favor. Don't get too down on yourself. When you go to the new school next year, just be yourself, your plan of trying to be cool to get girls doesn't work. Freshman year don't attempt suicide, when you meet a girl named Savannah Proctor be nice to her, she's the best we've got. Don't be so horny, it will wear off eventually.

Future you
Straighten up kid, you're going down the wrong path, you need a good education to be around the one, the one who you were made for. Make better decisions and don't let them bring you down, you aren't fat, you'll only be fat after you let them get to you. when you get to highschool, go for Kayla, she's thee one, don't wait too late.

Yours Truly, Future Jarred

PS. start wearing more wing-tipped shoes!
Quote by CoreysMonster
you know why rabbits are smarter than cows?

fucking cows start moo-ing around for no reason, but rabbits keep their mouth shut until they actually have something to say.

god I hate cows.
Start playing guitar NOW!
Stop listening to you sisters pop CD's and pick up a Metallica album.
When you meet her, ask her out straight away instead of waiting 3 years and being friend-zoned.
Oh, and don't bother studying for your year 9 and 10 end of year tests, THEY DON'T MATTER! On the other other hand, start studying early for year 11, it'll be worth it.
Dear Me in the past

Dont start drinking at 12, dont start partying too soon. Also keep playing football, and start going to Mauy Thai and boxing as soon as you start grade 8. Never ever go over 9000, Do a little better at school with the assignments,Dont even bother going for an OP in grade 12 , also get into more fights at school and beat up any idiots that call you names, get in first so they know who is boss. Rule the school with an ironfist. Also dont be such an Idiot when it comes to talking to girls, Just take to them for f*cks sake and ask out "that" girl, you will know once you hit high school, Also start a f*cking band with two of your best mates for have known since you all were 6 yrs old. And for F*cksakes dont piss your money up against the wall on all of that shitty warhammer gear. Also join the F*uking army when you leave school, You find your life boring in this shitty mining town you live in. And dont stop playing Football just because you brake an arm doesnt mean you cant play any more.
your high school years are going to be shit but dont worry most of the people that teased you are either going to be in jail, dead or going to be dead soon, or going to jail soon. you on the other hand will lead a very good life. Your Family loves you remember that.

PS. Can you please HARDEN THE F*CK UP during your highschool years i know it will be hard but just try.
Last edited by deathdrummer at Dec 9, 2009,
shave the mustache it makes you look bad.also when you start talking to angelica ask her out shes head over heels for you and this is your ONLY chance.don't ask jenny out she's gonna be your best friend and start sports now.umm you get pneumonia so thats fun.have fun kid
future you
Quote by JacobTheMe
Yeah, the movie was complete tat.

Avoid, unless you enjoy ruining things that you enjoy.

You can call me Cam, Cameron, or any other variation
Mortal Enemies with Primus2112
And everybody's singin'la, la la la, la la la
Dear Sam,

quit listening to that shit music, go find a Flaming Lips cd right away. also, get our there. go do some things that will make people notice you. show people what you can do whenever you get the chance. also, take school a little more seriously. if you don't, shit's gonna be really hard down the road.

oh and sometime in highschool you will be offered marijuana. take that offer. and don't puss out when you disagree with your parents. have a respectful argument. but not until you're a LITTLE older. we'll say...16.

anyways, have fun. meet some ladies. i need them now.

-future sam
Quote by MH400
Dear J,

In 6 years from now, you will be living the other side of the World in New Zealand. Keep your grades high like ever, and you will be fine. Also, keep listening to Linkin Park, and in a few years you will love bands such as August Burns Red.

When you meet that girl in year 10, you will hit love. And it will hurt after. Just do what feels right, you know better than anyone else.


Hey, another NZ'er. Where did you move from?
Dear Steve:

1. Don't question it.

Start growing your hair out now, and get it cut regularly so the ends aren't split for three inches when you're 20. Go ahead and abandon that long-ass story you're working on now, it's jumped the shark, but keep writing fiction. It's worth it. Don't worry about playing baseball so you don't regret not doing it like Dad does; you won't. Leave these friends behind, they're making fun of you and you can't see it. You'll get much better ones next year. I think you'll know not to get in too tight with most of them though.

And fuck's sake, give electronic music a chance before college. When you're my age you'll be wondering how to get your own stuff pressed and dancing your heart out to The Crystal Method in Tulsa. If you manage to miss that show for us, I will know it, and I will come back in time and kick your scrawny ass.

Oh, and Pluto's not a planet anymore, the bastards.

-Steve Nine Years From Today


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

dear younger me,

you should go through with it. seriously, it's not worth it to keep going.

love, older me

eDit: ps, learn to tie the right goddamn knot first you lazy bastard, it'll save us a lot of pain and rope burn.
Last edited by dhutton at Dec 9, 2009,
Quote by GoldfishMoon
Hey, another NZ'er. Where did you move from?

RIP Tom Searle.
To John

Freaking work out more fatty
Stay Away from Darlene
Stay away from IRC
Get over having to move from NY, it wasn't all that great anyways.
Forget about Katherine
Play guitar when you get a chance, ask your cousins to teach you. Work towards buying one early.

The rest of the letter would be numbers and dates ala

Mega millions
Drawing Results for December 14, 2007
137 million
4 7 12 17 30 mega ball 44
Gear's : Peavey Vypyr 60 Tube | MicroCube | Noisy Cricket | Ibanez S470DXQM Blue Burst | Takamine EG440C
Pedals : MXR M-108 EQ | Digitech Bad Monkey, Sanpera I, GFS Tuner

Seref : Cali would put a health warning on celery if they could
dear kyle,

Dont let your hair grow out. During the following summer dont be so close minded when it comes to girls. All those oppurtunties that pop up in middle school you should take advantage of instead of fantasizing about the girl u will never get. If you do this your high school years will be alot better. The girls that you do get try and keep a good relationship with them. If you keep trying to get your dick wet you will only get so far. Keep playing guitar. Practice everyday. You will have some great friends so dont lose them.

- future kyle that actually hurt a bit thinking back... Things could have been so different.
YEAH! ಠ_ಠ
Quit orchestra now and pick up a guitar/bass ASAP. After you get good enough, start a band.

PS: Do not reject (in a mean way) the first girl that says she likes you because she will then tell everyone and your chances of getting a girlfriend will be forever ruined.
Quote by MH400

Hahaha, almsot everyone here is originally from europe from who I have met so far.
Lose weight. Play the party gig. Go to practice. You'll know what I mean by junior year. By the December after you graduate, you will have 3 friends. You're moving. Get as much sleep as you can. You have no control. It's not cancer. Get to him before she does, you'll be miserable if you don't.
Begin again in the night, let's sway again tonight.
Your arm on my shoulder, your cheek against mine.
Where can we go, when will we find that, we know.

Practice matters. The reality is you will be awkward, so keep playing that little acoustic you got, really beg for lessons, and just go for it, turns out, a career in hockey or soccer is not meant for you, but keep playing soccer, dropping it will be one of the things you miss as you go through high school. but practice guitar, all the stuff you think is boring and stupid is so necessary for you to grow with the instrument

Keep those grades up, don't be afraid to ask questions, i know it makes to you feel like a retard but its necessary, especially in math and science in high school, closing those doors will burn you i promise.

Try and involve your siblings more, i know with mom working all the time and Dad being more or less useless you feel like you have to man up and do it all, but really you're only causing yourself more stress and doing them a disservice for later in life, they need to do all the same things you are able to do later in life

No matter what, never stop being active, Brian will try to get you into weightlifting at age 16, do it, throw yourself into whole heartedly, trust me it only gets harder after high school to shift your diet and your habits

be more active in everything, the gym, the music scene, at high school, at university, get yourself out there, you are actually much funnier and charming in your own way than you give yourself credit for, striking out and rejection isnt a loss, its a way to refine your technique

spend as much time as you can with your grandparents, cause when one of them goes, it's going to devastate you for a little while, so remember to get in those good memories

when looking for summer jobs, remember to factor in what you want to do as well, take some lower paying internships or whatever, maybe stay in toronto instead of going home for the summer, the money you'll make/save on rent food etc won't be worth it when you exit school with a degree but no experience, its a dog fight out there and you need to know how to play the game before you get tossed to the wolves

remember everything boils down to 3 main points: 1. practice: guitar, studying, being social etc
2. get out there and be active, stay fit, stay sharp and have fun
3. remember to show your love and support for those around you, mom, little ones, the grandparents, they have it hard and you gotta help out, be strong but firm with these people, and remember to love unconditionally as you'll miss them so much more when they or you go

your future self

p.s don't get you're hopes up about the leafs, they will break your heart for many more years

p.p.s lie your ass off on a resume when that NHL job comes up, even as bitch work there it will be way better than anything that will come along
I used to be a goddamn saint. I said my prayers and handled snakes until the road introduced me to sin. I only shook hands with drink but he had friends with him
Dear me,

Drop that bitch now and save yourself three years of your life!

-Future Me

Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
Dear Tyler.
Don't sweat middle school. I know, the school sucks and the town sucks, but try to stay positive. Never be afraid to talk to your good friends from outside of New Raymer, because they are much more open minded and accepting than any of the kids at your school could ever hope to be. For two weeks in the summer following eighth grade, you will have the greatest time and meet the greatest friends of your life. Things will happen between you and Shelby, so try to commit to her and dont let her pass you by.

Whatever you do, dont put yourself through homeschool in 9th grade. Even though you hate the kids, go to public school. You'll be much happier there than you would at home, trust me. By the end of 9th grade, major things will change.

Don't lie to people to make yourself seem cool, and always, ALWAYS stay confident and have pride in yourself.

PS: Don't join any new bands that require you to play trumpet.
PS: At the anniversary, stop after 4 beers. You'll want to drink more, and you will later, but for at least that night you have to restrain yourself.

Have fun with life.
Last edited by GrungeJunkie at Dec 9, 2009,
Dear Sean--

emotionally, you have yet to mature, but the thoughts you're having are years beyond those of your peers. People tell you you're wrong and will continue to do so through high school. It's rough. Somewhere down there, you know you're right. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll become a very likable person. Don't worry about getting laid. Don't worry about being cool. Those things will come in due time, once everyone else grows up.
Top 5 Rush Songs:
1. La Villa Strangiato
2. Natural Science
3. The Main Monkey Business
4. Vital Signs
5. Subdivisions

Complete Atomic Basie by Count Basie.

Ask me shit:
Dear Caleb,

I don't know how to help you, I think you're fucked no matter what. Sorry!

Future Caleb
Dear 6th grade Ryan,

Stop looking like a douchebag and dress normal. Get rid of that stupid part in your hair and just rock a short buzz cut instead of waiting a whole year. Also, don't do the stupid long hair in face flippy thing that emo and prep kids do. Just keep the short buzz cut.

Also, start listening to Dream Theater NOW.
And don't stop listening to AFI.

Don't make any friends except Dustin and Corey. Corey will show up in the 9th grade. Dustin will show up next year.

Everyone else sucks and will use you.

Also quit being a pushover.

Before you start playing guitar is two years, realize that classic rock doesn't suck and isn't corny.

STOP missing school. It'll become a BAD habit and you'll nearly fail your senior year because of it.

By the time your a senior, you'll still have no idea what you want to do.... so think extra hard about your future. Or put extra effort into your band.

Oh and don't let Nathan get caught with weed. His dad never lets you go over his house anymore and blames it on you for no reason at all. Actually, let him get caught... it doesn't really matter, His friendship wasn't the greatest.

Also, start going to shows and meeting people, they're pretty cool people. Don't wait until your 17. wait, nevermind, you don't have a car. **** you can't do anything nevermind.

Pretend you didn't read this and destroy it.

You future you,
Future Ryan