#1
Here is my new song.I deciedet not to do blackmetal this time but to do something more like death metal....and of course i was inspired by the greatest death metal band "Death".If you are their fan you may notice some riffs that sound similar to theirs.Sooo i hope you enjoy it and C4C as always(but only on detailed crit for my song).
(ive made it for RSE too)

ps/Sorry for gp5/gp4 only but midi file was too large.
Attachments:
Thy Deathwitch.gp4
Thy Deathwitch.gp5
Last edited by Imm0rtal at Dec 12, 2009,
#2
This song is awesome. I can see the Death influence and in one riff it sounds influenced by Bathory like Bar 31. Tbh, I think the bass sounds way better when it's fretless or bass picked. Preferably, bass picked. I like the intro riff a lot. It's very dark-ish, powerful, and cool at the same time. Bar 27 - 38 is just great. It is very Bathory-ish. Bar 39 - 46 is solid. The solo is extreme like Chuck's style. Excellent job! Overall, I think this song is pretty awesome. 8/10!
#3
Thanks Arsis for the crit.Il be sure to change the bass to picked.Im not satisfied enough for the solo part...it could be better but....i cant write solos .I think about creating 2-3 more riffs before the intro part begins again because its maybe too short.About the Bathory influence what can i say,ive never listened to those guys before and im not familiar with their kind of music.I must buy some CD and check them.Thanks for the crit and pls leave link to song you want me to crit
Last edited by Imm0rtal at Dec 9, 2009,
#4
Quote by Imm0rtal
Thanks Arsis for the crit.Il be sure to change the bass to picked.Im not satisfied enough for the solo part...it could be better but....i cant write solos .I think about creating 2-3 more riffs before the intro part begins again because its maybe too short.About the Bathory influence what can i say,ive never listened to those guys before and im not familiar with their kind of music.I must buy some CD and check them.Thanks for the crit and pls leave link to song you want me to crit



I would really like it if you could crit Breed or Human in my sig. Thanks.
#5
At first I thought the first riff sounded like a copy of the intro to Lack of Comprehension. I am happy to say that it didnt, it was just that good.

The faster bit after that was a really awesome riff. As was the riff with the slides. And the slap bass behind it all makes for a really interesting sound.

I thought the solo with the slower chord/drum backing came really suddenly after that. But it's like Death right? It doesnt have to fit if it's badass.

I liked the pedal point riff after that, but it could be so much better if the drums were catchier, like the drums to the first heavy riff of Lack of Comprehension. I hated the timing of the snare. Just too 'off' to me.

I think actually now, the bass would be better if it was only slap in a few places; for the whole song it gets monotonous and kind of in the way. And if its only on say the first riff, it would stay more unique.

And of course, in the true spirit of Death, just rehash the first three or so riffs [however many it was until the solo usually.]

Nice song overall. Like I said, the bass could be changed to normal, and slap on the first riff, it'd be better. And the drums on that one section. Otherwise, very nice.
#6
Cool stuff really. Intro was very deathish, as rest of song too.

Intro was very death-like. Nice bass and harmony too. Second riff was pretty fast. Professional work. Intresting bass lines.

Nice third riff.

Cool solo. I hated 3 last bars of it. And riff after it is pretty too happy, fix drums.

Overall pretty self repeating. But awesome riffs.
Crit mine?
#7
thanks for the crit guys.I updated a bit the song by changing some drums and adding a few more riffs.Check it now
#8
14/16...really? lol

overall sick groove, i loved it. Really not much to crit other than the redundant time signatures.

Bar 31 was delicious and as most ppl here have said the intro sounds awesome!

Good solo too, serves its purpose.

Bar 65 is def. my fav. riff out of this piece. Love the half time feel to it.

Overall a solid 8/10.
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#9
I really liked the opening riff, as well as the continuing sub riffs up until the chord section. Once the chords come in I really didn't enjoy the shredding/note choice. The next 16th note riffage section sounds pretty sweet and definitely got my head banging, but it sounds really familiar. I found the extended section beginning at measure 96 to be really boring. Although you recycled the riffs from earlier in the song, the slow time signature and unoriginal note choice made it that way. From that point onwards I didn't really hear much in the song that I liked.....maybe because its not really my style? I thought that if you had taken it in a new riff or chord direction it may have been better for the second half of the song. Also the ending sounded abrupt and awkward.

However there are a lot of great riffs, especially the main one which is a great-sounding choice of notes. 5.5/10, but not really my type of music.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1243743
Kurzweil K2500xs
#10
well i wasn't aiming to create some original stuff with this song.My purpose was to create a Death-like song and it is normal some riffs to sound you fammiliar.I even wrote that at my first post.I cant tell you where my riffs comes from

Intro-Lack of comprehension intro
Main riff-Symbolic
Solo- Lack of comprehension and The Philosopher inspired
Bar 67 to 88-Spirit Crusher and Symbolic mixed with Lack of comprehensions part after the solo
In Bar 89-94 riff is little bit from The Philosopher and i added my stuff too
The next slow section was mend for another solo which isn't done yet
And like Burning_Angel said,to sneak into the spirit of Death's songs i rehashed the first 3 riffs again.

About the time signatures.....well im self-learned and i don't know much about them.I just change them to fit my riffs
Last edited by Imm0rtal at Dec 12, 2009,
#11
Writing as I listen:

- Only real short comings to do with the start riff are the amount of repetitions and the bass line in places

- The next riff is face meltingly awesome as are most of the fast riffs you've got here

- Death influence is obvious, but not in a bad way; I didn't feel like I was listening to a Death rip off while listening this (until I read the comments on you rehashing riffs, I obviously don't know Death well enough!)

- Some riffs become repetitive towards the middle, mainly some of the pedal riffs

- I felt a bit lost just before the re-intro (this may not be a bad thing ,depends on what you're aiming for)

- The re-intro lasts way too long

- The outro was perhaps a bit anti-climactic

Despite my nit picks this is a really good piece, deserves at least an 8.5/10, perhaps even a 9/10.

Crit mine?: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1244334
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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Last edited by ChemicalFire at Dec 12, 2009,
#12
song is updated once again.Its being close to the complete version.Another solo has been added thanks to The Arsis who created it for me.Im realy thankfull man
Last edited by Imm0rtal at Dec 12, 2009,