#1
I wrote this song in class. I've been having some relationship issues and I've been trying to write some solid songs for a while now. I think out of this particular situation, this song is my best.

It's in a kinda upbeat song. Not a sad or slow song. But the lyrics are kinda cynical and sarcastic. Pretty mellow guitar work. No fast licks or anything.
-----
[Verse I]
There's an increase in excess outside this room
There's a pestilence of white noise right in my heart
And it's just now reaching my head right now
My vision is fuzzy and my thoughts aren't clear
...but at least I can hear

[Chorus]

It doesn't help I can't see your face
Or even read your thoughts
But does it make it fair?
Does it make it right?
...but at least I can hear.

It doesn't help that I can feel
Or even hear your words
But does that make it fair?
Does it make it right?
...or so you hear.

"Come in my room"
You say in my sleep

[Verse II]
There's a feeling of despair in this town
And it's eating my heart clear away
And it's just now reaching my eyes
This school of thought is killing me
...but at least I can feel.

[Chorus]
It doesn't help that I can see your face.
And that I can see your thoughts
But does that make it fair?
Does that make it right?
...but at least I can feel.

It doesn't help that I can hear
Or even feel your touch
But does that make it fair?
Does that make it right?
...or so they say

"Come be with me"
You say in my sleep.

[Chorus]
It doesn't help that I can see your face.
And that I can see your thoughts
But does that make it fair?
Does that make it right?
...but at least I can feel.

It doesn't help that I can hear
Or even feel your touch
But does that make it fair?
Does that make it right?
...or so they say
---------------------


C4C
GEAR
Epiphone SG-400
Marshall 1987 JCM-800 2210 100W

Proud Member of:
The SG Owners Unite
Marshall Amplification
EHX Users Guild

The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society

#2
Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
GEAR
Epiphone SG-400
Marshall 1987 JCM-800 2210 100W

Proud Member of:
The SG Owners Unite
Marshall Amplification
EHX Users Guild

The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society

#3
As always I enjoy your peices my friend. I enjoyed how the chorus changed to fit the song as the peice progressed. At some points it was slightly repetitive, as though you were trying to hard to get your point across. Otherwise I enjoyed it and the second verse is my favorite part.
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.
#4
I always love pieces where the chorus progresses throughout to show a change or something. This was a pretty solid piece and you got your point across pretty well.
You and I are mortal, but rock n roll will never die.
#5
Thank you both. I'm working on doing a Guitar Pro 5 version of it with lyrics. If you're interested I'll pm you the link to the original tabs part of the site where it will be posted.
GEAR
Epiphone SG-400
Marshall 1987 JCM-800 2210 100W

Proud Member of:
The SG Owners Unite
Marshall Amplification
EHX Users Guild

The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society

#6
Quote by Weeping_Demon7
Thank you both. I'm working on doing a Guitar Pro 5 version of it with lyrics. If you're interested I'll pm you the link to the original tabs part of the site where it will be posted.


That'd be great.
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.