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#1
Ok so for Media studies coursework i have to make a film. The film involves a bank robbery.

I need the pit to come up with some witty one liners or puns for different situations in a bank job. The situation can be anything you like within the confines of a bank robbery.

In the film the bank robbery will not be shown but the two main characters will be discussing it.

Please make some that will put arnie to shame.
#2
Bank Robber: Give me the money already!

Bank Teller: That's what your mom said last night! LOLOlOLoLOLOLOLoL

*bang*
Check out my band Disturbed
#3
The Pit has wit and intelligence? That's news to me.


EDIT: Refer to the above post.

Exactly my point.
#5
Quote by daytripper75
The Pit has wit and intelligence? That's news to me.


Shhhhhhhh. Let them dream. They're more likely to help me if i compliment them.
#6
I'd contribute if I was witty or intelligent
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#7
I love you, Pumpkin.
I love you, Honey Bunny.
Everybody be cool this is a robbery!
Any of you ****in' pricks move and I'll execute every mother****ing last one of you
#8
Quote by GuideToGenocide
I love you, Pumpkin.
I love you, Honey Bunny.
Everybody be cool this is a robbery!
Any of you ****in' pricks move and I'll execute every mother****ing last one of you

So, you want him to directly quote Pulp Fiction in an "original" piece for a film class?

That'll go over well
Remember this. Remember the summer. Whatever you do. Don't forget.
#9
Quote by Sawman3
So, you want him to directly quote Pulp Fiction in an "original" piece for a film class?

That'll go over well


Exactly!
#10
It pays to be a bank robber!
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That's far too clever to be posted in the Pit.
#11
Quote by GuideToGenocide
I love you, Pumpkin.
I love you, Honey Bunny.
Everybody be cool this is a robbery!
Any of you ****in' pricks move and I'll execute every mother****ing last one of you


Nice Pulp Fiction reference
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#14
ummmm...

robber - "bitch fill the bag"

chick behind counter - "no"

robber - "oh okay... sorry I'll try again tomorrow then"

*phone rings*

robber - "ah hey man... nah... nah... yeah... it was that woman again... she scares me... I know... massive jugs though... anyways... yeah we can try again tomorrow if you want, I know how much you love your crack... ha ha ha... yeah okay dude see you then"

*hangs up phone*

ect...ect...
stick some cock jokes in there, you'll get an oscar
#16
Ok in case you didn't realise if I quote one of the biggest films ever made. (also my favourite) my teacher will rape me.
#17
Heeeey Nigal, cooooeeeeee! Remember me loverboy? I'm the guy you held hostage last week in the Natwest? How's your mother? Her bunions any better? And how's the personal problem? All cleared up?
#19
Robber: Where's the money?

Banker: Where the **** do you think it is? You're in a bank dumbshit!

ololol..........


Robber: I've got a gun!

Banker: Is It loaded?

Robber: Yeah......why?

Banker: Shame you're not xD OLOLOL...


Ok last try.....

Robber: Handover the money!

Banker: Hey! We've been hit by the recession too.....


I fail on so many levels
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#20
Robber 1: So I said to him, 'Hand me the money or I'll shoot your tits off!'
Robber 2: Did he do it?
Robber 1: He says 'You can't have it!', so I say to him, 'You stupid Banker!' and shoot him right in the dlck!
Robber 2:HA!
#21
Cashier: *Frantically pressing on the emergency button thingy* I suggest you run away while you still can. The police will be here at any moment.
Robber: *Shows cut cables* I wouldn't...*Blows out smoke*...bank on it.

🙈 🙉 🙊
#22
Quote by entity0009
Cashier: *Frantically pressing on the emergency button thingy* I suggest you run away while you still can. The police will be here at any moment.
Robber: *Shows cut cables* I wouldn't...*Blows out smoke*...bank on it.




I like that shit. You have a line in my film.
#25
Robber 1: Where's the sack?
Robber 2: What sack?
Robber 1: The sack to put the money in.
Robber 2: I thought you were bringing it.
Robber 1: No. I told you last night not to forget the sack.
Robber 2: I thought you said not to forget the snack. I made sandwiches. *pulls out sandwich* It's chicken salad.
Robber 1: Did you at least bring the gun?
Robber 2: *pulls out a stick of Wrigley's*


Not witty, but meh.
#26
Quote by RMC06
Robber 1: Where's the sack?
Robber 2: What sack?
Robber 1: The sack to put the money in.
Robber 2: I thought you were bringing it.
Robber 1: No. I told you last night not to forget the sack.
Robber 2: I thought you said not to forget the snack. I made sandwiches. *pulls out sandwich* It's chicken salad.
Robber 1: Did you at least bring the gun?
Robber 2: *pulls out a stick of Wrigley's*


Not witty, but meh.

I giggled at the gum/gun line. It would be best presented as if robber two felt his choice of brand name gum made up for his mistake with the snack.
#27
R1: "Hey why are you so messed up today?"
R2: "After last night I'm suffering from a little withdrawal."
*Rimshot*
R1: "Seriously man what have you been smoking?"
R2: "Well we all know I'm quite partial to the green!"
*Rimshot*
R1: "Where are you getting that money?"
R2: "Hey it pays to be a robber!"
*Rimshot*
R1: "Forget it just check your e-mail for messages from the boss."
R2: "Sure. First let me clear my browser cache!! (Sounds like cash... )"

pun
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#28
I'm making a horror movie trailer.

In April (I'm guessing all the courseworks will be ready/handed in by then) can we have a, 'This is my media, let me show you it' thread?
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#29
On a side note (inspired by one comment): Was the recession really that bad? It had almost no effect here in Israel...
No contribution though, sorry...
#30
Quote by jimmyled
On a side note (inspired by one comment): Was the recession really that bad? It had almost no effect here in Israel...
No contribution though, sorry...



Tbh I don't know myself, but my parents and other various adults always seem to be saying how bad it is or something
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#31
I have a few ideas but, I need these things to be answered first.
1.) Are the bank robbers intelligent.
2.) Do you want the teller to be stupid or sharp.
3.) What kind of humor is acceptable.
I was in a media class in high school, we did a short film/news cast every 2 weeks. If anybody wants to check it out, they are on mhsrewind.com.
#32
Quote by jimmyled
On a side note (inspired by one comment): Was the recession really that bad? It had almost no effect here in Israel...
No contribution though, sorry...

It's not a was question, it is that bad. Unemployment is getting worse and the dollar, well, is getting very very weak. I am predicting a switch to the Euro in a few years or sooner.
Sorry about the double post, I thought this was necessary.
#33
Guy 1: Lets do some thing different, lets rob a bank

Guy 2: it would give us some change *winks* eh? eh?


Female bank robber: whose gonna tell me what the safes combination is? [goes to random bank employee] how about you bank employee?

Second bank robber: Teller




Ill go now


#34
Quote by padgea7x
Tbh I don't know myself, but my parents and other various adults always seem to be saying how bad it is or something


I don't see any difference whatsoever.
#36
'Are you sure about this?'

'Only work that there's no tax on. Apart from video piracy. And that's against my religious principles.'
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#37
The recession is bad. End of discussion.
Remember this. Remember the summer. Whatever you do. Don't forget.
#38
*Robbers enters bank with a gun ; Awkward silence*
Robber 1:"...I feel powerful! Look, I have come here to chew bub-"
Robber 2:"ohh shut up already."
Robber 1:"...k boss."

funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

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#39
Cop: Well, looks like we've got some.... *puts on sunglasses* savin' to do....

YEAH!!!!! *wont get fooled again*
#40
Quote by jimmyled
On a side note (inspired by one comment): Was the recession really that bad? It had almost no effect here in Israel...
No contribution though, sorry...

The recession isn't that big of a deal. Shit costs pretty much the same, aside from commodities and houses, which are actually cheaper. But many people have lost their jobs.

EDIT:
Quote by lmihay
It's not a was question, it is that bad. Unemployment is getting worse and the dollar, well, is getting very very weak. I am predicting a switch to the Euro in a few years or sooner.
Sorry about the double post, I thought this was necessary.

You're wrong. And the dollar isn't any "weaker" than it was in early 08.
Last edited by captaincrunk at Dec 10, 2009,
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