#1
fighting for the sake of fighting
is like
writing for the sake of writing
since when do you have anything poignant to say?


there's no one left to impress
your job is done here
go home
there's probably a note pinned to your shirt
with the address
in case you forget

I'm sure your mother will lick your wounds
I'm an asshole.
#2
I'd like to know if you listen to Steve Martin or watch Home Movies
It sounds like you are trying to write for the sake of writing, maybe you're playing through the pain
But nothing is really flowing together

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jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


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Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

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It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#4
Bitterness is always over the top and it lurks through your writing and it's like a dagger through anyone's paper/screen ehehg.

The meaning of this is getting is just getting left behind when you allow this voice to continue.

Punctuation can go a long way, it can change the meaning of a piece. If you used comma's and other forms of punctuation this would be more cohesive and would flow much better.

Separating the last line reminded me when people come back with insults, thought it was unnecessary.

Sorry if this was harsh but I felt it needed to be said. If you could crit "know" for me that'd be great. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1243663

See you around.
#5
Oh, I'm well aware of the bitterness in this piece. It's really just meant to be more of a vent for me, but thank you for the crit .
I'm an asshole.