#1
The Scar:

Living alone in his cave,
He crawls.
The Scar of Mankind,
Arthur will kill them all:
Those deemed unworthy
Of the life that razed the world.

I'll show them, one by one,
My decree will be swift,
But will it hurt?
To protect the children
Driven to tears,
I'll. Avenge. Her.

Arthur is sitting, plotting,
His own illness unknown.
With his mind above others,
Their graves lie in bags,
Quietly, his blade he will hone.

I'm the Scar, Holloway,
Arthur Holloway.
Oh, but for the things he has done,
The dark rabbit's hole awaits.

-----------------------------

It's the first song in a set that tells a story. Hope to make a concept album someday when it's all finished. Can I get some feedback? If it's confusing and you want an explanation, just tell me and I'll type one out.
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#2
Good, only thing that bugged me was the name Arthur. All I could think of was King Arthur.
Quote by aldo47
(i thought hot strings would make me finger faster.)
so i tried to set my strings on fire by putting a lighter on the high e string n it cut it so wtf??!!? i passed the lighter rrly slowly by it for less then a sec n then it snapped...
#3
feels like medieval coheed
the flow is a little awkward and I don't like some of the word choice but over all not bad for concept album lyrics
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#4
Quote by rebelmidget
feels like medieval coheed
the flow is a little awkward and I don't like some of the word choice but over all not bad for concept album lyrics

Damn... I'd hoped the Coheed influence wouldn't be too obvious. Though I AM just asking for it, showing the names of my instruments in my sig. Actually, it's set in the present day. In a couple places, I tried to make things sound slightly awkward, because of Arthur's instability. I probably went overboard with it.
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