I started writing this about 20 mins ago, had most, if not all, the guitar figured out in about 5 minutes. Then I pretty much threw done what ever came to my head for lyrics. It's different from anything I've done before. I usually don't rhyme and with this I just felt like having that one constant rhyme. It's also a really short song, I dunno it's just a strange song, I can't decide whether I like the lyrics or not because they're so simple.
Verse 1
So you've, you've taken from me
I'll gladly agree
And I'll let you bake, yes you will see
Go die for me

Verse 2
So you've, you've taken from me
Now your just sinking debris
Go cry for me
Go die for me


Verse 3/Outro
Go, take your boat out to sea
No, you'll never see
What you took from me
Go die for me

I'll come up with a better name later ^.^
And I purposely put 'sea' and 'see' together in the last verse/outro. 'See' would be emphasised vocally to I guess make it work, I can't really explain it hahaha. The song would probably make more sense if I was a singer and could record it.
What do you guys think, despite its simplicity?
Last edited by Drummerrrrr? at Dec 12, 2009,
besides the simplicity i enjoyed it. i often like dark images in lyrics such as this. it did a good job of showing your anger for whoever or whatever this is wether its based on something that actually happened or not.
My gear
Epiphone Les Paul Standard
B-52 LS100 Half Stack
Dunlop SW30 Slash Signature Wah
Digitech Hardwire CR-7 Stereo Chorus
Digitech Hardwire DL-8 Delay/Looper
Boss BD-2 Blues Driver
Fender CD220CE Acoustic
The title is what caught my attention. The lines "Go cry for me, go die for me" seem like the best ones in the song. With a little bit more development, this could be a brilliant song. The verses just seem a little bit too simple, but as you said that's what you wrote them to be. But there are some great ideas presented in this song, and I think they should be developed a little more. Maybe add a few more lines in each of the verses and tell a little bit more story, or create more images in the readers/listeners mind. Overall, this is a good song though. The third verse was my favorite.
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1245016