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#1
So ive been going through a lot of change recently, since i seperated from my long term girlfriend. I realised i was focusing way too much on music which has affecting other aspects of life. I was very open in admitting to my family my ex and her family, that i needed to stop focusing on music and take on responsibilities. All these people tell me music is a total waste of time and doesnt do anything for my life, while they work their fingers to the bone to buy stuff they dont even need or want because they have no passion apart from trying to be upwardly mobile.

Now im in a position where im frequenting with old non-musical friends who are now upwardly mobile and whos life ambition is to get a slightly better car and a slightly better house, and go up in their social ladder. When they have conversations its just totally dry and not sincere incase they say something controversial. I feel somewhat inferior because ive been a music teacher for 4 years and havent kept on a career path, dont have that great a car and my house is very average.

I meet with other musical or artistic friends and they are down to earth, tend to drive slighly crapper cars and are not interested in their 'social standing'. Now i dont really know where i fit in and what is important anymore. So im wondering what everyones position is here. Did you go through anything similar? Is music just an occassional pasttime for you and do you feel in any way embarrassed to say to people you play music?
#2
id rather be poor and happy (with music) than corporate with a slightly better car.

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#4
Why would I be embarassed to say I play music?

Although I am in a different situation to you, I am 18 and don't really need to worry about my social standing.

But to be honest, if I were to choose between a luxurious life without music and an average existence with music, I'd go for the latter.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#5
The problem with all forms of art is that so few people get it. The people who don't get it just say it's childish and stupid, but that's because art doesn't mean something to them, art doesn't hit them on an emotional level.
#6
I agree with your way of thinking TS. No real point in buying things you don't need, you should dedicate your money / whatever into something that you really want, eg, music.

It's kind of like the buddhism concept of the middle way. You can make do with what you have and money and acessories aren't measures of social standing.

I wouldn't be a buddhist though, need meat.
#8
Life is about substance. If you're not happy without music, you need it. Just learn to prioritise between music as a hobby, music as a career, and music as a way of living.

Thats not to say you shouldn't try other things, just don't neglect what you love for the sake of pleasing others.
#9
Allow the music to get you that "Slightly" Better car.
but yeah are you happy doing what you're doing? Personally I think that I'd be much happier doing something in music and not earning that much than doing something I hate and earning alot. Although you've come to a forum of guitar players so you're going to get bias answers
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#10
It seems like everyone who told you that music "won't do anything for you in life" just wants to be the average person? Working an average job but secretly wishing for so much more. Music is something you hold with you till and even after you die in a spiritual sense. But the material posessions you're "friends" are aiming to obtain will just simply be stolen by either the gov't or their children/grandchildren in their old age. They are being childish. Not you, especially if you make money with your music. (Teacher? As you said.)
I have no sig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#13
Quote by Frets-On-Fire
It seems like everyone who told you that music "won't do anything for you in life" just wants to be the average person? Working an average job but secretly wishing for so much more. Music is something you hold with you till and even after you die in a spiritual sense. But the material posessions you're "friends" are aiming to obtain will just simply be stolen by either the gov't or their children/grandchildren in their old age. They are being childish. Not you, especially if you make money with your music. (Teacher? As you said.)

Listen to this man, he has Buddy Guy in his avatar.
#14
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
So ive been going through a lot of change recently, since i seperated from my long term girlfriend. I realised i was 1. focusing way too much on music which has affecting other aspects of life. I was very open in admitting to my family my ex and her family, that i needed to stop focusing on music and take on responsibilities. All these people tell me 2. music is a total waste of time and doesnt do anything for my life, while they work their fingers to the bone to buy stuff they dont even need or want because they have no passion apart from trying to be upwardly mobile.

Now im in a position where im frequenting with old non-musical friends who are now upwardly mobile and whos life ambition is to get a slightly better car and a slightly better house, and go up in their social ladder. When they have conversations its just totally dry and not sincere incase they say something controversial. I feel somewhat inferior because ive been a music teacher for 4 years and havent kept on a career path, dont have that great a car and my house is very average.

I meet with other musical or artistic friends and they are down to earth, tend to drive slighly crapper cars and are not interested in their 'social standing'. Now i dont really know where i fit in and what is important anymore. So im wondering what everyones position is here. Did you go through anything similar? 3. Is music just an occassional pasttime for you and do you feel in any way embarrassed to say to people you play music?

1. Music takes focus and a lot of it to be "successful". You can totally enjoy it without having to spend all that time and effort focusing though.

2. I can't think of a better way to spend my time than music. Most people that tell me music is a waste of time are about as creative as a box of raisins.

3. Music doesn't pay my bills and I accept that (for now) but I have no issues with spending every ounce of my being trying t make music my full-time career. I am proud to tell people i have been playing guitar for 12 years, that i sing and play in a band, that i write my own music and that if i could jump on a bus at the drop of a hat and play all across the country, i would.

Bottom line: do what makes you happy. Don't be concerned about where you "fit in".
#15
Alot of people say "Music isn't a real job, go get your life together and get a job" or something along those lines. This would apply to Acting, Painting, other Art, Sport etc.
It seems everyone wants everyone else to be boring and unhappy.

I find it highly ironic that the most respected people in our society are those Musicians, Actors, Artists and Sports stars. People don't want others to succeed because they have amibtion, and that is a very selfish thing. If everyone had ambitions, the world would be alot better.

So, no, music is not a child endeavour. Think of a builder. Would you consider that a proper job? Well a builder creates structures. A musician creates songs. As long as you have ambition and don't let nay-sayers drag you down, you've got nothing to lose.
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#16
I'd hate to live just to be impressive or content to others. I'd rather be hard up and do music I love than be comfortable and in a job I hate. I may just be saying that because i'm young and probably naive but this average existence you talk of sounds horrible.


Quote by Spoonman69
Rap is music,far better than metal for example. id much rather hear about hoes and anal sex than dragons and supressed homosexuality.
#17
Quote by nightraven
i would hate to have my life revolve around this...



Flink ja, er lopen er al genoeg daarvan rond hier

I'd go with whatever makes you happier.
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#18
Alot of people say "Music isn't a real job, go get your life together and get a job" or something along those lines. This would apply to Acting, Painting, other Art, Sport etc. It seems everyone wants everyone else to be boring and unhappy. I find it highly ironic that the most respected people in our society are those Musicians, Actors, Artists and Sports stars. People don't want others to succeed because they have amibtion, and that is a very selfish thing. If everyone had ambitions, the world would be alot better. So, no, music is not a child endeavour. Think of a builder. Would you consider that a proper job? Well a builder creates structures. A musician creates songs. As long as you have ambition and don't let nay-sayers drag you down, you've got nothing to lose.

I love how relevant your signature is to this topic.
#19
Quote by T.s.e
I love how relevant your signature is to this topic.


It's what I believe in, brah.
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#21
Music and the "real world" need to exist together, not separately. Getting so into music that you ignore other aspects of your life is not healthy. In fact, it is just as unhealthy as people going to work all week and wanting to get a new car. You inadvertently demean what music means. I work on music in my spare time when I am not at work/school/with my girlfriend, and I love every moment of it; but I need to do other things so I have a life and can afford to live on my own and move towards a better future life.

The reality is that you need balance. You teach music, that is not an issue by any means. Who cares if you're car is the greatest on the block? Most people drive old, pre-owned cars any ways. You live in a house? Who cares if it is average.

I am kind of confused by your situation because you seem to take on responsibilities and maintain a musical life. The best way to find more balance is to incorporate others into your musical projects. I often make music when I am with my girlfriend, because that is a majority of my spare time; and I frequently ask her for advice and what not. I make music because I want to be a symbol of some sort. You just need people around who can, at least, understand your drive.
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#22
I'd say as long as you're getting by it's better to focus on music than money and needless extravegances. These people use money as a way of being happy, there's no reason you shouldn't use music, and I plan to when i'm a bit older.
#23
people around you should be happy for you that you have this passion . Life is not just about being slightly 'better' than your neighbours, it's about being happy with who you are. American way of life is shit man, just live your life in the way you enjoy the most and ignore other peoples opinions on that.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#24
Those people who only care about their social status and material wealth will one day crash and burn, because an extrinsic life can not be maintained the way society depicts it.
...
#25
If what you love to do is music than it's obviously not a waste of time. Expecting to be some sort of rock star is definitely a childish endeavor, but teaching it is a totally different story. I would never say I'm embarrassed to play music, it's what I do for fun. While for me, personally, I wouldn't make a career out of it, you certainly could. I wouldn't say everyone whose goal to make money or buy better things in life though is wrong or has the wrong idea about life. Every job is just as important as the next. Well, except for maybe actors and athletes ;D
Last edited by icaneatcatfood at Dec 12, 2009,
#26
It's strange, where I live people see music as quite a worthwhile passtime, until you hit a certain age. I would never admit music is a childish endeavour- it is nothing of the sort.

I think you will find that people who say this have never really given music a chance, or are just plain sick of something. Either way, as I think the general populus of this thread has agreed, music is good. Really good.
#27
Do whatever makes you happy. There's no need to fit in if you feel accomplished. I enjoy music a lot but I wouldn't make a career out of it. But like most people here said, do whatever you want and makes you happy.
#28
So ive been going through a lot of change recently, since i seperated from my long term girlfriend. I realised i was focusing way too much on music which has affecting other aspects of life. I was very open in admitting to my family my ex and her family, that i needed to stop focusing on music and take on responsibilities. All these people tell me music is a total waste of time and doesnt do anything for my life, while they work their fingers to the bone to buy stuff they dont even need or want because they have no passion apart from trying to be upwardly mobile.

As just about everyone so far has said, these people telling you that your passion is a waste of time are quite frankly either jealous or ignorant. However, there is a limit with everything, which in this case is complete and utter obsession. From what I can glean from your post, you don't need to worry about this too much. Just keep on teaching and playing music, if that makes you happy and can get you by.
Now im in a position where im frequenting with old non-musical friends who are now upwardly mobile and whos life ambition is to get a slightly better car and a slightly better house, and go up in their social ladder. When they have conversations its just totally dry and not sincere incase they say something controversial. I feel somewhat inferior because ive been a music teacher for 4 years and havent kept on a career path, dont have that great a car and my house is very average.
It seems to me that these people cannot be very happy. This paragraph sounds like it belongs in some sort of dystopian satire of materialism. Anyway, if you've been able to keep a fairly good job for four years in today's world, and have a car that works and a house that doesn't collapse in on you, I'd say you're doing okay in "the real world" and you can continue to focus on your music. Remember also that it's possible to earn money playing music, it might just take a while.
I meet with other musical or artistic friends and they are down to earth, tend to drive slighly crapper cars and are not interested in their 'social standing'.
But are they happy? If they aren't interested in their social standing (a completely absurd construct), I'd say they're quite a bit more mature than your aforementioned materialist friends. Your artistic friends probably wouldn't buy a car that was anything more than what they needed, while your corporate (I assume) friends are the childish ones, spending their hard-earned money on frivolities like hundred-thousand dollar BMWs with 500 horsepower engines that will never be driven past 90mph.
Now i dont really know where i fit in and what is important anymore.
I think you know exactly where you fit in. The answer is obvious from the descriptions of the two groups. Group 1, going by the way you described them, are some of the most superficial, miserable people I've heard of. Group 2 seems like the kind of people that will be remembered for a long time, even after they pass on, while Group 1ers are a dime a dozen. Now, obviously, we've both simplified things here. Maybe Group 1 is happy, but Group 2 is depressed. But going from your descriptions and your tone, I'd say you're best to follow what you want to do, and I'm fairly certain that's music.
So im wondering what everyones position is here. Did you go through anything similar? Is music just an occassional pasttime for you and do you feel in any way embarrassed to say to people you play music?
I don't think so many smart people (yes, I have seen some around here) would continue to pursue music as a hobby, passion, and lifestyle if they didn't know it was what would make them happy and fulfilled in the end. Why someone would be embarrassed to play music baffles me.

Now, I have absolutely no real world experience, so maybe I've got the wrong idea here, but I don't think you should be considering dropping your passion if it makes you happy (and puts food on the table).
#30
Yeah, music is probably a childish endeavor, but who wouldn't want the fascination and newness of childhood their whole life? Do and be what makes you happy. At the end of the day 6figure incomes, nice cars and big houses matter more to the people around you then to you yourself.
#31
The first group you describes seems very cynical and unhappy. They're just upset that they don't have something like music in their life that means so much. After all, misery does love company.
#32
I'd rather be poor and make music than be a rich, soulless businessperson.

Quote by sk8nalmost1394
The first group you describes seems very cynical and unhappy. They're just upset that they don't have something like music in their life that means so much. After all, misery does love company.

I just shat bricks, I'm listening to an album called Misery Loves Kompany right now.

Haha.
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+1

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#33
I've been in the same struggle you are now, TS, until I started working as a programmer on a very important company. Then I realised that it would take me nowhere (besides having a nice car).
Having a job you don't love will make you wonder why are you doing that instead of following your dreams (and you can only answer "for the money").

So now I will focus on my music even if it leads me to become a hobo.
Having a passionate life is way better than high social status.
#34
I addressed this in my UG interview- basically, that music is something I will always enjoy and pursue, no matter what capacity that would be in- whether as a professional musician, or as a hobby player. It's not a childish endeavor by any stretch. An aspiration is an aspiration is an aspiration. Pursuing music is no different from pursuing that slightly better car. They are both goals, and they both have their challenges and workloads to achieve. It's wrong to dismiss either sets of goals at face value, because people place different values on different things- it what makes us all different.
#35
Music isn't a childish endeavor. Contrary to the notion that music is arbitrary, music and art in general is most likely an essential necessity of intelligent beings. Unlike the relatively simple brains of animals, the human brain requires the kind of stimulation that art provides. Without it we would probably go insane.

I believe this because of what I know of the composer Olivier Messiaen. During the Nazi invasion, he was captured and sent to a concentration camp. There, he composed and performed Quartet for the End of Time, now a famous masterpiece. One has to ask "How can anyone bother with music there? Aren't there more essential things to worry about, like avoiding torture or staving off disease and starvation?" The answer is simple: music is essential as well. And Messiaen wasn't just an fanatic outlier. Plenty of other art was created within those concentration camps.

So when others question the validity of the practice of music, just remind yourself that they don't know how good they have it.
#36
TS, Have you ever read The Death of Ivan Ilyitch? If you haven't, I suggest you do.
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#37
I'd rather have music, have a lower "social standing" and be happy than not have music, have a higher "social standing" and be miserable and uncharacteristic.
#39
Mmmm yeah, I had to give up music because my friends thought it was childish.

I can now afford to get watermarks on my business cards.
#40
I've tried to write 3 messages to contribute to the discussion but I can't write one without sounding like an ass. So I'll just say it.

Fuck what other people think. It's your life and if you want music in your life then work at it. Follow your dream. No one has the right to tell you how to live your life and frankly - anyone that tries to is someone you don't need (this doesn't include parents if they still support you).

EDIT: And don't feel pressured to conform to what people think is a "normal" life.. I don't see why everyone feels the need to be accepted socially.
Last edited by Bearded_Seth at Dec 12, 2009,
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