#1
ok so this is about something that happened the friday that just passed...yet another depressing acoustic song

I wish I didn't say it to your, face
I wish I hadn't corrected your, faith
For all the times I weep when you are, gone
And all I think about is you...

You said you f***ing hated me
You said stay away from me
Said quit talking to my face
Leave me alone and go away

All the times I said sorry
You said don't say it to me
But say it to god
And let me be I hope you, die

You said you f***ing hated me
You said stay away from me
Said quit talking to my face
Leave me alone and go away

Just die here looking at me
I am holding onto your hate
I wish I could take it all away
For all the times I cry
When I got off the bus I died

Love is just a way of killing me,
Holding onto your faith
Disagreeing to your faith
Sometimes I feel sorry,
But you said
You said
You said

That!


You said you f***ing hated me
You said stay away from me
Said quit talking to my face
Leave me alone and go away

I wish our love was not hate...
Gear:
Dean Flying V
Franciscan Model A ClassicalGuitar
Ibanez Acoustic
Dean Acoustic Bass EABG
Mitchell Mu-70 Ukulele
Line 6 Spider III 30W
Korg Kaossilator
Yamaha Keyboard
Boss Metal Core
Fishman RareEarth Humbucker
#2
any comments?
Gear:
Dean Flying V
Franciscan Model A ClassicalGuitar
Ibanez Acoustic
Dean Acoustic Bass EABG
Mitchell Mu-70 Ukulele
Line 6 Spider III 30W
Korg Kaossilator
Yamaha Keyboard
Boss Metal Core
Fishman RareEarth Humbucker
#3
That killed my heart.
Great sad song, Maybe upload an MP3 so I can hear it?
It sounds like it would be a good song.
#4
Quote by treylio
That killed my heart.
Great sad song, Maybe upload an MP3 so I can hear it?
It sounds like it would be a good song.

i wish i could upload an mp3 but i let my friend borrow my BOSS Multi Track Recorder... :/ just use Em, C, D, G, and Am and just play what sounds good that's basically all my songs are the chord progression and chords can be used in different orders
Gear:
Dean Flying V
Franciscan Model A ClassicalGuitar
Ibanez Acoustic
Dean Acoustic Bass EABG
Mitchell Mu-70 Ukulele
Line 6 Spider III 30W
Korg Kaossilator
Yamaha Keyboard
Boss Metal Core
Fishman RareEarth Humbucker
#5
I'd suggest adding some vivid imagery. As it stands, it's a little cliche. I feel like it doesn't really bring anything new that hasn't been said by someone before. Add some element to the piece that really makes it your own, and takes hold of the reader.

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1244395
#7
Quote by Ginger1104
This is a very depressing song, but I liked it. It kind of reminded me of the puddle of mud song She F**king Hates Me. I really liked the second paragraph, which I assume is a chorus. But, I agree about adding more imagery as Chaingarden said. It does seem just a little bit cliche, but it isn't bad. C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1245016

yeah second paragraph is the chorus...and i'm not to shabby with C4C btw...and all my songs are about what exactly happens to me... I try not to be cliche
Gear:
Dean Flying V
Franciscan Model A ClassicalGuitar
Ibanez Acoustic
Dean Acoustic Bass EABG
Mitchell Mu-70 Ukulele
Line 6 Spider III 30W
Korg Kaossilator
Yamaha Keyboard
Boss Metal Core
Fishman RareEarth Humbucker
#8
This sounds exactly like something Three Days Grace would write (or, like the guy above me said, Puddle of Mudd). That's not something to be proud of =(.