#2
Wow, first of all, I wouldn't call that a song.....it had no central theme and no flow. It seemed like a disjointed assembly of guitar riffs and drum fills. The various parts had absolutely no connection with one another. The vocals were more like reading a poem.....rather than singing. At first I thought it was going to be a rap type song.

Individual riffs and fills were ok by themselves........but were so random that it really sounded like it they weren't on the same page. I think you should settle in with a chord progression and work around it...................build the song around a central theme, and work in the various guitar and drums parts into it.........then you'll have something that can be called a "song".

Keep on working on it................

c4c.............
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1240015