#1
This is another song I wrote relatively quickly today, pretty much completely finished.
The song's about how people can have the complete opposite outlooks as you. You might think of yourself as a high flier, someone who's a great person but that doesn't mean someone you despise or don't like isn't a great person. They just aren't according to you. It's kind of hard to explain

The final castle took it's fall
When all the eagles took it's walls

And the whitest of whites
Were the darkest of greys

We were always told that good trumps evil
But a mans good, is only as good as the better mans curse

And we took this to our grave
Our grave built on a better day

So on better day all the tables turned
Yeah they turned to dust
Quick as my brother said to me, I'll take what's mine
I slipped him the blade

The villains were worthy of the finest
And the city went to hell

On a better day
On a better day
On a better day

I'll burn all the schools
And teach all the teachers
What's mine is mine
And it'll be a better day

A better day

Outro


You can check out the music for it here: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1244625

Thanks for feedback =D
#2
Overall it's pretty good. I especially like "But a mans good, is only as good as the better mans curse". Just fix "And teach all the teachers". It sounds out of place.
#4
Too much angst? I'm a teenager, then can never be too much angst! Hahaha yeah when I wrote that last part I thought it was a bit over the top. Thanks for the feedback, guys!
#5
I agree with everyone else on the teachers line, it just seems odd repeating teach twice.
No one throws away porn, their like heirlooms, pass them down your family tree!
#6
I think the teacher part is effective. I actually didn't like "But a mans good, is only as good as the better mans curse." I thought it was a little preachy. and contrived. The rest is cool. I would suggest perhaps reworking the first half a little bit, because it gets better as the piece continues. I feel like maybe you had a little trouble starting, and then kind of took off as you kept writing. Good job.