#1
Well,it's the time of year when dysfunctional families gather together to exchange crappy gifts and ingest large amounts of food and alcohol,which is a recipe for some great stories.

So,do you have any holiday disasters you want to share? A couple childhood traumas to dust off and relive?


I remember when I was 8 and my uncle came out of the closet at Christmas dinner.Needless to say the rest of the evening was full of uncomfortable and awkward discussion .

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#4
Quote by 100%guitarmad
What was he doing in the closet?

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#5
That does sound pretty ackward
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#6
Quote by 100%guitarmad
What was he doing in the closet?


F*cking another man.


When he was busted he came out in a pose like this:



Dinner was ruined!

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#8
guess thats /thread
doubt anybody can top that story. Your uncle came out of the closet pretty late tho. Guess they didnt have MTV to push people out of there back in the days
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#9
Well I imagine that would have been a queer situation...


/bad pun
Quote by musicjunkie207
The time I fell on my face on a trampoline and cracked my neck, then proceded to run around the yard in a blind panic screaming "I hope I'm not paralyzed! OH GOD I THINK I'M PARALYZED!"


#10
Quote by 100%guitarmad
What was he doing in the closet?

Maybe he couldn't find some of his presents.
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#11
I was 7 and at my grandmothers. She went to pull the tray with the turkey out of the oven, then she tripped ofer the dog and the turkey flew into my uncles face. everyone said it ruined dinner, it made my christmas tho lol
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#12
This is more of a funny story than a dysfunctional one. When I was 7 or 8 we were at my grandma's house and she was setting the big dining room table which had tall candles in candle holders that were lit. She reached over them and it caught her shirt and bra on fire. She didn't even know she did it until my mom said something. My grandma was always a little absent minded like that.
#13
then who was phone on Christmas?!?!?
Last edited by Piscasis at Dec 13, 2009,
#14
Why would your uncle coming out of the closet cause awkward discussion?

Unless he was meant to jump out with all your presents and he did it too soon and spoiled the surprise or something?

The only "horror" story is when we had some relatives from New Zealand round for Christmas a few years ago. One of the kids from the other family, about 5 years older than me, somehow managed to put a remote control car inside the Christmas turkey. Hilarity and chaos ensued when the time came to carve it up.
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#15
well, i should preface this with saying this is how most family holiday dinners go down at my house. my family is ... eccentric to say the least. anyway ...

what happened was my older (maternal) cousin chris was in town for christmas. my maternal grandmother (meemz) was also in town. now chris likes to make constant sexual references to my father about how he bones my paternal grandmother and how she "loves the cock." my cousin and dad were instructed by my mother not to say anything about my cousin's sexual fantasies starring my paternal grandmother while meemz was in town. she's a fun-loving, youthful 73 year old with a lust for life. but a 73 year old nonetheless.

so at christmas dinner we're sitting around and my cousin makes some little comment in passing that is interpreted by my mother as a sexual reference to my dad's mother. so my mother accordingly puts down her silverware and looks at meemz.

"mom."

"yes, paige?"

"chris likes to talk about having sex with barbara. he says that she 'loves the ****.'"

at this point my grandmother, along with the rest of us, is staring wide-eyed at my mom.

"l-l-l ... loves the ****?" asks meemz.

my little sister's jaw is on the floor. my mom turns to her and says, "taylor. they don't actually have sex. he just likes to talk about it."

then my grandmother wrapped up the situation nicely saying that she needed another glass of wine.

mom
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#17
Just be glade he didn't came IN the closet!
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#18
Quote by primusfan
well, i should preface this with saying this is how most family holiday dinners go down at my house. my family is ... eccentric to say the least. anyway ...

what happened was my older (maternal) cousin chris was in town for christmas. my maternal grandmother (meemz) was also in town. now chris likes to make constant sexual references to my father about how he bones my paternal grandmother and how she "loves the cock." my cousin and dad were instructed by my mother not to say anything about my cousin's sexual fantasies starring my paternal grandmother while meemz was in town. she's a fun-loving, youthful 73 year old with a lust for life. but a 73 year old nonetheless.

so at christmas dinner we're sitting around and my cousin makes some little comment in passing that is interpreted by my mother as a sexual reference to my dad's mother. so my mother accordingly puts down her silverware and looks at meemz.

"mom."

"yes, paige?"

"chris likes to talk about having sex with barbara. he says that she 'loves the ****.'"

at this point my grandmother, along with the rest of us, is staring wide-eyed at my mom.

"l-l-l ... loves the ****?" asks meemz.

my little sister's jaw is on the floor. my mom turns to her and says, "taylor. they don't actually have sex. he just likes to talk about it."

then my grandmother wrapped up the situation nicely saying that she needed another glass of wine.

mom




I'm cringing just imagining the situation.

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#19
Quote by primusfan
*big story*

Oh lord
Quote by musicjunkie207
The time I fell on my face on a trampoline and cracked my neck, then proceded to run around the yard in a blind panic screaming "I hope I'm not paralyzed! OH GOD I THINK I'M PARALYZED!"


#20
At thanksgiving once, some relative of mine (my grandfather has gone through 6 wives, thus I haven't met half the family on my dad's side and don't know how I'm related to most of the people I do know) by the name of Bubba bent over the table and accidentally showed so much asscrack that the hole was visible. I laughed, but most of the other people there thought it was disturbing. Becuase it was.
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#21
More of a funny one.
At my last Christmas party my uncle got tipsy and decided to show all us young folk how they used to dance. He then preceded to fall backwards into our Christmas tree. Then when he made his way home he broke his ribs by getting stuck between his toilet and the tub.
#23
One year, my grandmother drank to much and fell asleep on the sofa with her boob hanging out. We laughed and laughed and laughed. It was the ugliest damn thing we'd ever seen. Like a wet sock filled with bars of soap.

I can still taste it like it was yesterday.
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#24
Quote by mystical_1
One year, my grandmother drank to much and fell asleep on the sofa with her boob hanging out. We laughed and laughed and laughed. It was the ugliest damn thing we'd ever seen. Like a wet sock filled with bars of soap.

I can still taste it like it was yesterday.

holy shit that's funny
#25
Quote by mystical_1
One year, my grandmother drank to much and fell asleep on the sofa with her boob hanging out. We laughed and laughed and laughed. It was the ugliest damn thing we'd ever seen. Like a wet sock filled with bars of soap.

I can still taste it like it was yesterday.
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#26
Quote by mystical_1
One year, my grandmother drank to much and fell asleep on the sofa with her boob hanging out. We laughed and laughed and laughed. It was the ugliest damn thing we'd ever seen. Like a wet sock filled with bars of soap.

I can still taste it like it was yesterday.


#27
This didn't ruin anyone's holiday in fact it made everyone hysterical. Ok so the family is drinking and having fun and all, and then they start pouring shots. Needless to say it all goes downhill from there. Well my uncle went to go lay down because he was completely hammered. Then my cousin's husband follows him into the room. I walk over because everyone is laughing and my cousin's husband has his shirt off wearing a cowboy hat basically riding my uncle....that was a fun night
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