#1
Hey, I wrote this song recently and was hoping for some criticism/comments, all are welcome.

I intend for it to be a kinda catchy.

The italics parts are verses, normal font is the chorus.. tell me what you think and what I can improve on please!
C4C


I can't get close enough,
There's always somethin' in the way,
Even though times are rough,
You gotta hear me say,


Baby shut me out,
'Cuz I'm no good fr you,
Baby shut me out,
'Cuz I can't stay true to you,

We've shared some good times,
They'll stay with me forever,
But somethin' doesn't feel so right,
So this is for the better,


I know you hate me now,
But there's not much I can do,
'Cuz I can't turn back around,
And pretend I still love you,


So baby shut me out,
'Cuz I'm no good for you,
Baby shut me out,
'Cuz I can't stay true to you,
Though I tried and I tried and I said that I love you,
It's just something that I can't do,
So baby shut me out,
'Cuz I just can't be good enough to you,

I just can't be good enough to you,
No..


So baby shut me out,
'Cuz I'm no good for you,
Baby shut me out,
'Cuz I can't stay true to you,
Though I tried and I tried and I said that I love you,
It's just something that I can't do,
So baby shut me out, shut me out, shut me out,
So baby shut me out, lock the door and throw away the key,
Baby shut me out, shut me out, shut me out,
I can't be anyone but me.
#2
It is catchy thats for sure. Especially the chorus. I would have to say thats my favorite part. The verses, I like them but they don't really stand out. If I heard the song on the radio, the chorus I could see myself singing over and over again because it has that catchy vibe and its interesting. The lyrics, I don't think I would bother to remember. Its not that they're not good. I actually like them and how they fit in with the song. However, none of them really stood out to me. It was kind of the same ole' same ole'.

Personally, since I like the lyrics I would like to see a breakdown in this song to spice it up. Keep the lyrics how they are since they tie in with the chorus so nicely but between that last verse where you end with "No.." and that last chorus maybe toss in a different paced breakdown. Maybe something with a different rhyme scheme or deeper lyrics.

All in all though its good. You hit your goal of it being catchy.
#3
Yeah man, I basically posted it up before I put the breakdown in, I do plan to have one, just haven't really figured it out yet..

I was thinking either some kind of instrumental or solo, or as you suggested something deeper lyrics or different rhyme scheme.

Cheers for the comment man.