the freezing, smiling faces
introverted, crooked, half-gaze
ask what it is that
is dissolving clockwork
faster than cancer, or rather-
do i play football or
am I a fag?
the only reply to
"I live." is
like they've ever
lived beyond
offices and coffee
afraid of the years
and infidelities
clinging on their
latent in sagging,
melting skin
and coal pupils.
I like this, but in trying to read it the way I imagine you intended it I find myself wondering what style of music you had in mind for it. I can really see it being a variety of styles.
Andy Fox
Hard rock guitarist
I play a Jackson DK-2 and an Ibanez RG through a Peavey 6505+ stack
What you've done here is find the perfect balance between form, structure and content. I've found myself being turned off by the formatting in pieces of yours previously, but here it worked perfectly. This is very good.