#1
This is sick. Sorry.


She gave me her heart in a glass jar
and told me to forget about darkness,
that writing about death is weird,
and rape and corpse-loving even more so.
I retort that it’s fiction, it’s my “niche”
but she has none of it.
I’ll rip out her fingernails one by one.

She tried to colour my soul
and plant flowers in my dreams.
But my nightmares turned them to nails
and I lay on them each night.
♥ Thinking of you ♥

She writes poems about nice things in my honour
and I write death in hers.
She says I worry her and her dying wish
would be that I saw happiness and light.
When I’m living in someone else’s shadow,
it’s pretty hard to see either.
I’ll dip her fingertips in acid.

In this hurricane of emotions
sailing on turbulent oceans,
I’ll hoist the sails
and set off for the wind.
This hour of need with her eyes in my pocket,
I’ll stare into those deep empty sockets
and be glad I keep her tongue for my cum.

I’ll thread her hair through a thresher.
I’ll hammer nails through the soles of her feet.
I’ll brand her breasts with the mark of the beast.
I’ll wear her teeth as a necklace.
I’ll cut off her face for a mask.
I’ll sever her toes and throw them at children.
I’ll eat her raw and she’ll taste fine.
#2
Oh my goodness. Very...erm...colorful.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
Yeah pretty ****ed up.
I don't really see a "moral of the story" just violence in adversely positive situations. There isn't really a why, just morbid dismembering. I don't see a consistent rythmn or rhyme scheme, but thats personal preference and expression so I can't pick on it at all.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying bad stuff. I like it.
All round I like it quite a bit, I just don't see a reason behind it.
#4
You write dark things the right way. this was terrible and engrossing. Great to see you post mike, even if it hurts.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#8
I didn't think this was all that great. I think most of the parts are beautifully written, but I just felt it was too much about the sickness of the piece instead of the emotion and meaning. But, I've been wrong before.
Last edited by hippieboy444 at Dec 17, 2009,