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ChemicalFire
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Join date: Oct 2007
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#1
My first post here and I need help.

I'm in a band atm and for the most part I enjoy it. However the "leader" of the band, the guitarist seems to have a problem where wont ask me about anything or really tell me what's going on.

If I tell him I can't make a gig cuz of prior commitments, or more important things that come up afterwards, like exams, exam revision or other stuff I can't really miss for the sake of my education then he gets a major attitude problem, he refuses to take no for an answer. I do appreciate that he gets the gigs and we play, I don't know any other bands with the drive he has. But he's at Uni and pretty much does nothing but focus on the band, something I can't do.

I don't really wanna leave the band cuz I do enjoy it, but it's starting to take over my life and I don't really have any control.

What do I do?
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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SPBY
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#2
tell him to chill out and make sure everyone can make it before he goes and makes plans

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Jesus_Dean
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Join date: Dec 2008
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#3
Music and education don't mix. You gotta pick. I picked education first and got back into music later. To each his own.

I'm not nearly the guitarist I could have been, but therefore I enjoy a good life now.
Arguing on the Internet is a lot like being in the Special Olympics. Even if you win you're still retarded
lucas1wj
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2009
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#4
yea this is a problem a lot of bands have, have a meeting about it if he's looking to go 100% into the band and the rest of you guys are just doing it for fun/more casually than he might be better off in a more serious band
Last edited by lucas1wj at Dec 16, 2009,
no.mop
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#5
Quote by Jesus_Dean
Music and education don't mix. You gotta pick. I picked education first and got back into music later. To each his own.

I'm not nearly the guitarist I could have been, but therefore I enjoy a good life now.


Decapitated went to school and toured during breaks (Christmas holidays, summer, etc.). Best of both

Either way, balance them out or go with education. It's almost certainly a better bet.
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_-Joey-_
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#6
Talk to him & just tell him pretty much what you've told us. Personally (because I know my life's going no where), I'd give 100% to a band I love, but if there was something more important then I'd still tell the rest of the band I can't make it, & if they're a reasonable band member, they'll accept it.
SlayingDragons
UG's.
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#7
Quote by Jesus_Dean
Music and education don't mix. You gotta pick. I picked education first and got back into music later. To each his own.

I'm not nearly the guitarist I could have been, but therefore I enjoy a good life now.


Okay, 1.) I like your sig, and 2.) This is semi-true. If you focus all your time on education, then you won't have time for the band. If you focus all your time on the band, you won't have time for education. which brings us to this:

Quote by SPBY
tell him to chill out and make sure everyone can make it before he goes and makes plans


If he did ask everyone if they could make it before he scheduled the gig, then you would be able to do school and the band, and would save a lot of confusion and stress. So thus, just talk to him.

MR. Goodcents
Registered User
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#8
You gotta know what your priorities are, and the band has to know what your priorities are. Obviously your guitarist's is the band and yours is school. You need to let the band know what days are good for you to practice and what days you are busy. Try and keep the same days open every week. It takes some work to balance school and a band. Some people can do it and others can't. It's a give and take thing though, sometimes you may have to sacrifice an hour or two of studying for practice, or sometimes you might have to cancel a gig because of a test.
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
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#9
Quote by SlayingDragons
So thus, just talk to him.


I have done, but his excuse is that he cant go over every little detail wth the rest of the band. He dosn't seem to understand that other people don't look at life the same way. The drummer has already left for that reason. I would love to be able to focus on the music, but it's not really possible.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
SomeoneYouKnew
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#10
Quote by ChemicalFire
What do I do?
Grow a pair.

Quote by ChemicalFire
he refuses to take no for an answer.
That's his problem, not yours. If the answer you give is "no", stick to it. On the flip side, don't say no just cuz you're lazy. Save it for when there really is a conflict and your priorities lie elsewhere.

Quote by ChemicalFire
I don't really wanna leave the band cuz I do enjoy it, but it's starting to take over my life and I don't really have any control.
Set priorities and live by them. If that's not acceptable to him, he'll have to be the one to kick you out.

If you're such a wimp that you can't say no and stick to it when the answer has to be no, then you probably shouldn't be around people like him.
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isabiggles
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#11
Make time for both.

I go to a school that dumps HUGE amounts of pressure on me but I still manage to practise ~3 hours everyday and i'm addicted to UG. Yes, I had to leave for around two months earlier this term just to keep on track at school but my grades are good and my musical life is also good. Sometimes you just have to plan better and accept that some nights you'll have to stay up all night to get work done. For instance, I've managed to get around 10 hours of sleep since sunday evening and, yes, i'm exhausted now and i'm going to snooze because it's the holidays. There is time to fit both, trust me.

EDIT:

ATTN life guru ^:

It's clearly not that simple. I have a hard time telling band members that I disagree with them in the first place and turning down a gig because of something else is obviously not going to be easy because the other members are so keen. You may think it's tough love but calling people wimps isn't the right way to go about it.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
Last edited by isabiggles at Dec 17, 2009,
SomeoneYouKnew
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#12
Quote by isabiggles
EDIT:

ATTN life guru ^:

It's clearly not that simple. I have a hard time telling band members that I disagree with them in the first place and turning down a gig because of something else is obviously not going to be easy because the other members are so keen. You may think it's tough love but calling people wimps isn't the right way to go about it.
ATTN mister-wouldn't-know-good-advice-if-it-bit-him-squarely-on-the-arse:

It clearly IS that simple. If you argue with someone who "never takes no for an answer" and never stick to your guns even when it's important, YOU LOSE. This time, every time. Act like a wimp, get treated like a wimp. Act like a reasonable man who's willing to compromise, but NOT on important matters, and you treated like a man. This bandleader isn't ever gonna give any consideration to TS's situation unless TS stands up for himself when it counts. That's the core issue.

Wake up and smell the coffee.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
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Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
ChemicalFire
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#13
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
ATTN mister-wouldn't-know-good-advice-if-it-bit-him-squarely-on-the-arse:

It clearly IS that simple. If you argue with someone who "never takes no for an answer" and never stick to your guns even when it's important, YOU LOSE. This time, every time. Act like a wimp, get treated like a wimp. Act like a reasonable man who's willing to compromise, but NOT on important matters, and you treated like a man. This bandleader isn't ever gonna give any consideration to TS's situation unless TS stands up for himself when it counts. That's the core issue.

Wake up and smell the coffee.


It's not that i'm not willing to stand up for myself, I'm a stubborn person, but I don't wanna let the band as a whole down.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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SomeoneYouKnew
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#14
Quote by ChemicalFire
It's not that i'm not willing to stand up for myself, I'm a stubborn person, but I don't wanna let the band as a whole down.
You aren't letting down the band as a whole. Your bandleader is. If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration when booking gigs, HE is the guy causing the problem, not you.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
isabiggles
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#15
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
ATTN mister-wouldn't-know-good-advice-if-it-bit-him-squarely-on-the-arse:

It clearly IS that simple. If you argue with someone who "never takes no for an answer" and never stick to your guns even when it's important, YOU LOSE. This time, every time. Act like a wimp, get treated like a wimp. Act like a reasonable man who's willing to compromise, but NOT on important matters, and you treated like a man. This bandleader isn't ever gonna give any consideration to TS's situation unless TS stands up for himself when it counts. That's the core issue.

Wake up and smell the coffee.


Hmm, well i'd be quite annoyed if people missed out on my practices and gigs because they had to do some homework. Fine, why doesn't he stand up for himself so he can get booted? Did you not think of that? If someone is unable to gig to the extent that the band would want to i'd kick them out. Is that being an arse or am I just expecting greater commitment. It's hardly difficult, believe me, I get HUGE amounts of work to do, I practise for hours every day (including bass) and manage to have enough free time for myself. Seriously, you have no concept of how people will react once they do this stuff. Do you expect said bandleader to just go "oh, well now that you've said you don't want to with balls i'll let you!"?

He might sure, but what if he doesn't.. and from what it seems this bandleader sounds like the kind of person who'd give him the boot. Yeah, he can stand up for himself a little bit more but there's always a way to fit practice and gigs in.

TS: If you've got so little time for band stuff why are you here? Don't you have work to do? How many hours do you get a day? I'll sleep around 6-8 on weekdays and 10-12 on weekends so that means I get around 16-18 hours of stuff to do in the day. That's surely enough for you TS.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
NakedBassist
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#16
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You aren't letting down the band as a whole. Your bandleader is. If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration when booking gigs, HE is the guy causing the problem, not you.


it is easy to say things on an online forum, but RL is a little different.

Things aren't so cut and dry.

TS, what do the other people in band think? I know you've said the drummer quit, but presumably you found a replacement? If you're the only one who feels like that, maybe this ain't the band for you.

There are always other fish in the sea lol
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SomeoneYouKnew
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#17
Quote by isabiggles
Hmm, well i'd be quite annoyed if people missed out on my practices and gigs because they had to do some homework.
1 - READ the OP.
like exams, exam revision or other stuff I can't really miss for the sake of my education


2 - READ my posts.
If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration If the answer you give is "no", stick to it. On the flip side, don't say no just cuz you're lazy.

Save it for when there really is a conflict and your priorities lie elsewhere.

If he isn't willing to take important shit like exams into consideration when booking gigs, HE is the guy causing the problem, not you.

3 - STOP arguing about things that were NEVER said by either of us.
We aren't talking about just "doing homework", genius.
Exams and revision just prior to exams are serious business.


Quote by isabiggles
Fine, why doesn't he stand up for himself so he can get booted? Did you not think of that? If someone is unable to gig to the extent that the band would want to i'd kick them out.
Being a pussy when it comes to dealing with a bandleader who won't have consideration for the needs of his band members will just lead to more problems. If the bandleader is that inflexible, the guy would be better off booted than compromising his education.


Quote by isabiggles
Is that being an arse or am I just expecting greater commitment.
Arse. Definitely arse.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
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isabiggles
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#18
^

Make your posts simpler, I can't quote them if you do it like that.

1, You don't HAVE to not revise. You're seriously underestimating this guy here. Do you think TS is revising fourteen hours everyday? No, I seriously doubt it. Even in exam time for me I can get in ~5 hours a week of band practice and achieve high results.

2, I'm not saying that he should absolutely definetly go with the band (READ MY POSTS), i'm saying that there's always more time than you think there is. Fine, say no to him but don't be so sure that he'll just back down. TS has given almost no information about himself. How many band opportunities do you think he has? Do the other band members agree with HIM? How can you call him a wimp when you know nothing about him. No, you can't.

3, they sure are and you can revise for many hours everyday and still have many hours left. It is possible to do many different things at once you know.

Ok then, TS: leave your band. It's all fine now, no more band problems.. you know.. seeing as how you don't have one.

4, How much of his story are you blindly believing. While I accept that the bandleader is pressuring him into playing gigs you're pretty quick to side with TS after just a few words. I've been in the same situation as the bandleader and it's a pain in the arse. The other guitarist (like TS) said that he couldn't practice for weeks leading up to the exams because he had to revise. Turns out it was a load of bollocks because he did just as well as I did and I didn't spend all day revising like he supposedly did. It turns out that he was mostly just playing CoD4 or messing around on facebook. So easy to twist your story so that you look like the victim.

Are you a good historian SYK? You seem to take everything that TS says as fact. You have to evaluate. I highly doubt that the bandleader would get so angry at TS for missing out on one or two gigs because he supposedly revises non-stop all day. I've made the mistake of being bossy to bandmates but I doubt i'd be far off if I said that TS doesn't understand how this guy feels about him. He hasn't mentioned any other band members either (who all seem able to gig).
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
SomeoneYouKnew
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#19
Quote by isabiggles
Make your posts simpler, I can't quote them if you do it like that.
Oh, that breaks my heart.

Quote by isabiggles
1, You don't HAVE to not revise.


Quote by isabiggles
2, I'm not saying that he should absolutely definetly go with the band (READ MY POSTS),
Then WHY are you arguing with me, when I tell him to set priorities and stand firm? Apparently you just wanna create arguments where there aren't any.

Quote by isabiggles
4, How much of his story are you blindly believing.
Quote by isabiggles
You seem to take everything that TS says as fact.
I tailored my advice according to what TS wrote.

I don't decide what may or may not be true based on a whim, the way YOU do. If TS misrepresents the facts, he'll have to be the one to decide what fits.

But the best part of my advice is that it's tempered. Even if the truth isn't exactly as TS portrayed it, HE can still benefit from my advice regardless of whatever facts he, and only he, knows.

Remember the part where I told him to not say no just as an excuse for being lazy? Remember the part where I told him to save it for when there really was a conflict and his priorities were elsewhere? That's me telling him that HE has to be the one evaluate and decide what's really important and what isn't.

Quote by isabiggles
He hasn't mentioned any other band members either (who all seem able to gig).
Quote by ChemicalFire
I have done, but his excuse is that he cant go over every little detail wth the rest of the band. He dosn't seem to understand that other people don't look at life the same way. The drummer has already left for that reason. I would love to be able to focus on the music, but it's not really possible.
... looks like a mention to me.


Stop blathering. I gave him good advice. If you don't like it, that's your problem.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Dec 17, 2009,
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
Join date: Oct 2007
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#20
Quote by isabiggles

4, How much of his story are you blindly believing. While I accept that the bandleader is pressuring him into playing gigs you're pretty quick to side with TS after just a few words.


Thanks for your vote of confidence ¬¬


I shall give you an example of something that happened in the past month you don't believe me, two months ago I got tickets to see Killswitch Engage on the Taste of Chaos tour, about 2 months later I get told by the guitarist casually "see you next Thursday for recording" and Kay whatever; he'd said we'd be recording early December but at no point was I given an exact date. Turns out the Thursday was the day of the gig, something I didn't link up, as I only knew the date of the gig and not the day of the gig.

I tell him this and he gets on my case about me not being committed to the band and how it was unfair on him for having to come from Uni only to not be recording. He also claimed that he had the studio booked for a month. Something I had to call him out on, cuz he had never asked me "Are you free on 3rd of December to record" because if he had booked the studio a month ago and asked I would of still said no.

After an argument culminating in me pointing this out, he starts being nice to me.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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SomeoneYouKnew
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#21
Quote by ChemicalFire
he'd said we'd be recording early December but at no point was I given an exact date. Turns out the Thursday was the day of the gig, something I didn't link up, as I only knew the date of the gig and not the day of the gig.
I don't even know WHAT you said right there, but it does bring something else to mind.

Each one of you should have a day-planner. Especially the bandleader. He should have one just for band scheduling. When you have something you KNOW is gonna be non-negotiable,
1 - write it in your own day-planner and
2 - contact the bandleader and have him write it in the band day-planner.
3 - Then put an indicator in your own day-planner that the bandleader was notified.

This makes it very simple to keep track of prior commitments.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
Join date: Oct 2007
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#22
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
I don't even know WHAT you said right there, but it does bring something else to mind.


Basically that I knew the date of the KsE gig was the 3rd of Dec, but I didn't link "next Thursday" with being the 3rd.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
isabiggles
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#23
What the hell? I had a bloody essay for you SYK until UG screwed up on me.

In short, stop being all high and mighty, you have no right to insult anyone etc. that's why I called you out. Your advice is fine.

^

It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that i've always learnt not to take everything at face value. You may not know that you are doing anything wrong or you may just not be doing anything wrong. Just think about it to yourself, you may realise, you may not.

You should really plan ahead TS... I mean, I know that the London Blind Guardian date in September next year is on a sunday so I know that i'm going to have to get all my work done before then. It's just basic planning man, perhaps not your fault but still..

Can I ask how close to the recording session that you told him? It's important...

It's HIS fault for booking a studio without asking you or other members if that was possible. I was bossy in my band but I ALWAYS was courteous to my bandmembers until 'the incident' which led to me aggressively lashing out at their lack of commitment and generally bullshit. Understand his point though, some people are emotionally unstable and can be like that. He was coming down from university to do it and maybe he was getting excited or looking forward to it. I was let down 40 minutes before band practice due to BOTH the guitarist and bassist bailing. I had to tell the drummer and singer to go home when they got to practice because they'd already left. It's one of those things..

(FROM YOUR POST) it looks like you're saying that him being nice to you was a bad thing.. he was being nice to you! Maybe he feels bad about arguing with you, or maybe he's mentally insane. I don't know for sure. Also man, come on, you talked about exams and that's just acceptable I guess but anyone would feel that there was not much commitment if you bailed for a gig. I mean, you guys seem pretty serious since you're recording so maybe he should expect as much from you.

EDIT:

Agreed with SYK above. It's not an acceptable excuse to bail because YOU didn't check the date. Maybe that's why he's miffed? I would be.

You don't NEED a band planner but having a good sense of time and being aware is vital. I have mental plans in my head, dates do nothing for me, think of them in days. For instance, Christmas is on the friday, not the 25th for me. It's a much better way of doing it.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
Last edited by isabiggles at Dec 17, 2009,
ChemicalFire
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#24
Quote by isabiggles

Can I ask how close to the recording session that you told him? It's important...


He first mentioned it the Sunday before, I realised I couldn't do it on the Monday or Tuesday.

Quote by isabiggles

Agreed with SYK above. It's not an acceptable excuse to bail because YOU didn't check the date. Maybe that's why he's miffed? I would be.



Maybe you missed part of what I said, even when he first booked the studio I had already got the tickets for the KsE concert, and he didn't ask me if I was free.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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isabiggles
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#25
Quote by ChemicalFire
He first mentioned it the Sunday before, I realised I couldn't do it on the Monday or Tuesday.


So when did you tell him?

I tend to expect (though I don't enforce it) notice at least a week before except for extreme circumstances (not like forgetting the day). I'm not defending him so much.. just pointing out that he may be more justified for getting angry then you think he is.

EDIT:

^

Again, not defending him exactly but that's not the point. The point is that you told him two days before recording. It's absolutely his fault that he hadn't told you but you shouldn't have given him a reason to get angry.

And he was being nice afterwards.. does he accept that it was his fault?
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
Last edited by isabiggles at Dec 17, 2009,
ChemicalFire
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#26
Quote by isabiggles
So when did you tell him?

I tend to expect (though I don't enforce it) notice at least a week before except for extreme circumstances (not like forgetting the day). I'm not defending him so much.. just pointing out that he may be more justified for getting angry then you think he is.


Read the second part of my post.


He didn't ask if I was free when he first booked it, and if he had, I would of said I was busy, but he didn't ask.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
isabiggles
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#27
^ again not the point :lol:

Read my edits.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
ChemicalFire
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#28
Quote by isabiggles

Again, not defending him exactly but that's not the point. The point is that you told him two days before recording. It's absolutely his fault that he hadn't told you but you shouldn't have given him a reason to get angry.

And he was being nice afterwards.. does he accept that it was his fault?


I assume he accepted it, but he didn't go out of his way to say anything about it.

And he told me the day of recording with under a week to go before it... it wouldn't of been possible for me to give a weeks notice, as he only gave me 4 days notice in the first place.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



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You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
Last edited by ChemicalFire at Dec 17, 2009,
isabiggles
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#29
Look, i'm with YOU.

He was wrong to do what he did for sure but i'm just saying that you have to see it his way.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
SomeoneYouKnew
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#30
Quote by isabiggles
What the hell? I had a bloody essay for you SYK until UG screwed up on me.
Thank you UG! Once again you've come through for us all.

Quote by isabiggles
In short, stop being all high and mighty, you have no right to insult anyone etc. that's why I called you out. Your advice is fine.
Nah, you were just looking place to bicker about anything.

You're STILL doing it with TS. Shut up, already.


TS,
1 - Get day-planners.
2 - Use them
3 - No more schedule confusions, yeah?
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
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Quote by SK8RDUDE411
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isabiggles
UG Addict
Join date: Nov 2006
1,203 IQ
#31
^

Some serious wit there.

Look, I don't like you at all, in fact quoting you kind of makes my fingers burn slightly at the tips but I don't argue for no reason. Sure, I argue too much but I do it for a reason. You get right off your high horse and take a trip down humility road before trying to give advice k?

EDIT:

I didn't even start with a bloody argument.

I was saying that I disagreed with you in a non-aggressive tone and YOU replied back. So go for it, be the bigger man and you shut up because otherwise you're just being very hypocritical.

EDIT again:

Doing it with TS?

Please, the guy asked for a reply and i'm just telling him. It's interactive. I say something to him, he replies etc. Jesus christ, you guys act like it's armageddon whenever someone argues on this site. You should know that it's perfectly normal, you know everything.

EDIT... again... again:

You call it bickering. Yes, it is when you decide to take it all personal and start dishing out the insults/nastiness.

This is debate, between me and TS, some people are capable of it you know. It's arguing a case, not bickering.

EDIT, last time I promise:

CAPITALISING your WORDS doesn't make your ARGUMENT any STRONGER...

OK?
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
Last edited by isabiggles at Dec 17, 2009,
osXtiger
Ironic Linux User
Join date: Apr 2006
95 IQ
#32
Quote by isabiggles
^

Some serious wit there.

Look, I don't like you at all, in fact quoting you kind of makes my fingers burn slightly at the tips but I don't argue for no reason. Sure, I argue too much but I do it for a reason. You get right off your high horse and take a trip down humility road before trying to give advice k?


SYK's attitude is a little brash, but it's straightforward and sound advice nonetheless. And I'm not saying that you don't give out sound advice or anything, but it sounds to me like you're just getting up his tailpipe because you don't like him, not because you think his advice is bad.

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axemanchris
Awwww.... NOW what?!
Join date: Aug 2006
2,471 IQ
#33
With all the quoting and arguing, I've sort of lost track of what they're disagreeing on.

SYK - TS should stand up for himself
isabiggles - he might get kicked out if he causes trouble
SYK - set priorities and stand firm. pick your battles for important things, though.
isabiggles - there may be more to the story
SYK - get a day planner and use it

I mean, it sounds like a fair exchange when you look at the main ideas, but there seems to be some difficulty acknowledging the validity if each other's points. There seems to be a willingness to sacrifice politeness and being rational in favour of an otherwise sour relationship.

Worth discussing, but I'll lock it up if it degenerates to personal attacks.

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
GrisKy
Banned
Join date: May 2009
411 IQ
#34
Will everyone please STFU for two seconds so I can think?

ok, OP, your bandleader is a douche for springing things on you with little to no notice. you're alsoa douche for doing the same thing to him.

let's say this is a job, you're my employee at GrisKy's Crabshack, I tell you "hey, I need you to come in this weekend." you don't tell me you have a schedule conflict (and I'm a nice boss who'll work with you schedule wise), even though you have tickets to whatever for Saturday. Instead you say "sure, see you this weekend." I call you in on Saturday, but you tell me "what? I can't hear you, I'm at a concert... I'm free Sunday." but I already have the schedule covered for Sunday, and you're seen as unreliable in my eyes (if I don't just fire you).

Sure, as the boss I should've said "I need you to come in on Saturday" just like your bandleader should've given you a specific day and date, but as my employee, it's your responsibility to be on call when I say I need you to pick up a shift within a reasonable time frame and you agree to it.

If both of you had simply extended a little professional courtesy however, none of this would've been the case. If you bought the tickets well in advance of him scheduling studio time, it's YOUR responsibility to notify him. Likewise, he should've checked to see when you're available to record, but even if he had just said "some time in early December" that's still a narrow time frame. That's when you pipe up and say "hey, this is going down on [day], so let's make sure we don't have a conflict."

What I'm getting at is that neither of you are mind readers (obviously), and you BOTH need to work on your communication skills. and btw, KSE is not nearly as important nor valid an excuse as exams.
SomeoneYouKnew
UG God
Join date: Feb 2007
2,503 IQ
#35
Quote by GrisKy
let's say this is a job, you're my employee at GrisKy's Crabshack
Did you say Crabshack or Shrimp Shack?
Cuz if it's Shrimp Shack, I could definitely go for that.


Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
isabiggles
UG Addict
Join date: Nov 2006
1,203 IQ
#36
Gah, computer freeze.

Tiger: I dislike SYK, but I did genuinely believe that his advice was too quick. That's why, no other reason.

Chris: It's only my intention ever to provoke rational debate. Sure, I don't like him but i'm not the first to dish out insults (and if they are they're ridiculously sarcastic/in jest). I don't argue with him because I don't like him, hell I agree with him someone up the page. I just thought he was wrong and that he was being very rude to someone who hadn't fully explained the situation and that he jumped the gun. I was mostly just telling TS to further explain himself (we have it now) and telling SYK to let him explain himself before calling him a wimp etc. Whatever it is, I have better things to do than to bicker for no reason.

GrisKy: Yeah, nailed it.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
GrisKy
Banned
Join date: May 2009
411 IQ
#37
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Did you say Crabshack or Shrimp Shack?
Cuz if it's Shrimp Shack, I could definitely go for that.




LMFAO!!
ChemicalFire
King of Bacon Pancakes
Join date: Oct 2007
5,773 IQ
#38
Quote by GrisKy

What I'm getting at is that neither of you are mind readers (obviously), and you BOTH need to work on your communication skills. and btw, KSE is not nearly as important nor valid an excuse as exams.


But they were being supported by In Flames, which is who I went for
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
isabiggles
UG Addict
Join date: Nov 2006
1,203 IQ
#39
Quote by ChemicalFire
But they were being supported by In Flames, which is who I went for


Still...
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
dlguitarmaster7
The Guitar Master
Join date: Jul 2009
1,146 IQ
#40
Quote by ChemicalFire
as I only knew the date of the gig and not the day of the gig.

how can you know the date but not the day? use a calendar. that was your fault