#1
Well I wrote this really cool kinda dark acoustic part and I wanted to bullshit with some lyrics so I started writing and I actually kinda like them constructive criticism?

V1- Broken Skylines after summer
My first notions slowly dying
Window's open baby's crying
Empty Skyline my last winter

PC- What am I to do?
With all these broken bones
I can't feel my way
I guess i'll have to crawl

C- Summer's almost over
I don't feel a thing
Everyone is leaving
and yet I still remain

V2- Staring into empty windows
Outside's cold, a fire's burning
My best interest slowly fading
(need a line)

PC- What am I to do?
With all these empty walls?
I can't feel my way
I guess i'll have to crawl

C- Summer's almost over
I don't feel a thing
Everyone is changing
Guess i'll stay the same.

That's all I got so far. I was pretty pleased with it. If you have any ideas or comments please let me know.
Think For Yourself, Question Authority - Dr. Timothy Leary


Quote by Poopsmith666
[21:09] im so canadian i piss maple syrup and i shit the beavers!


Quote by theyab
[1:01] im 21 years old i know how to jerk off
#2
i think the PC coulduse a little work, compared to the rest of the song it falls a little flat, not quite up to the quality of the rest of the song, i really do like the song though , and for that line, o_O mayyybe dying slowly like a flame?? just a breif hazard, well, great writting, ciao
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .
#3
Quote by BrandyCross
i think the PC coulduse a little work, compared to the rest of the song it falls a little flat, not quite up to the quality of the rest of the song, i really do like the song though , and for that line, o_O mayyybe dying slowly like a flame?? just a breif hazard, well, great writting, ciao


Thank ya much. i'm not doing anything tonight, so I think i'm going to inhabit UG and try to write some songs. I'll take note of you're crit and try to work it out.
Think For Yourself, Question Authority - Dr. Timothy Leary


Quote by Poopsmith666
[21:09] im so canadian i piss maple syrup and i shit the beavers!


Quote by theyab
[1:01] im 21 years old i know how to jerk off