#1
Hey all, Alex here!

The concept for this piece was originally of a Greg Howe-esque jazz fusion jam piece, which oddly enough morphed into this monstrosity. The piece is largely unfinished, but I've decided to stick to that key concept, and write up a more jammy, song-based core for the piece, leading into a folky section, and then into this - a sort of schizophrenic interlude.

This entire section (1:44 in length) is based off the original theme (which stemmed from Em and B dominant 7 chords) with variations and subtleties throughout.
While there was no direct influence for this, if I had to compare it to or suggest a likelihood to anything, I'd say there are traces of Chet Atkins-esque simultaneous bass/melody lines, Opeth and doom styled grooves, a Beatles styled refrain (Jazz Break), a Scooby-Doo melody, a creaking house, and Christmas (hoorah!).

As always, crit for crit, and the more you write/detail you give me, the more I'll pass on to you - just post a link in your reply and I'll try my best to get right on it. I'd really appreciate suggestions on how to tidy up transitions (I almost forced myself to work it out as I wrote it), or squeeze in/omit anything, or lead into this section, but anything would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance, and I hope you enjoy it.

Alex

EDIT: Name change - has a nicer ring to it
Attachments:
Spiders.gp5
Spiders.gp4
Spiders.mid
Last edited by juckfush at Dec 19, 2009,
#2
pretty sick man, like a bit of jazz every now and then, but it repeated alot and i like to heard more lead melodies over the top, but the rhythm is pretty complex, and if you can play it perfectly like that fair play. it would take me a fair while to get that song down. lots of weird chords in there
#3
A nice catchy, jazzy song you got there. Reminds me of the music you hear in clubs in the 1940's. Weird reference, I know. But I've been playing this one WWII game that has a club with music playing that reminds me of your piece. GRRR sounded sick. I would love to hear that part recorded. The transition however from it was a little awkward in my opinion. Just the triplets slowing down. I think it was kind of unnecessary for a tempo change in the first place. I mean, it goes from 130 to 132. But I guess that's just me (I rarely use a tempo that doesn't have a 0 in the one's place). Then it goes back to being jazzy and bluesy to the end. Nice job all in all. The other thing is that the GRRRR part sounds empty-ish without a bass, but I see a track in there, so I guess it's just not finished yet.
Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because.. that was brilliant, champayne


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#4
Thanks for the crit guys!

ch715dallat - There's definitely going to be a lot more variation thrown in once the bass is written, which will cater for counter-melodies for the most part. The rhythm guitar's variations are only very subtle to break up some of the monotony and give a hint at the new sections, but some of the chord voicings may be changed down the track as well (as in bar 6).

champayne - Thanks for the reference to 1940's jazz! I had that sort of soundscape in mind when writing the last section The transitions into and leading out of the GRRR section definitely need work - I've been trying to adjust the dynamics of the diminished transition for a while, but without much luck, and the transition into the first Break with the triplets is giving me problems too; the idea was to have a sort of ''hesitant'' triplet feel like in bars 7 and 32 - a subtle change in tempo - that would almost fall between triplet quavers and triplet crotchets in length (different note values, but Dream Theater's Erotomania has a 2/4 bar that uses this principle in the rocky odd time section). Unfortunately, a tempo roll was the closest I could get the emulating this (132 - 75 over one beat), but I'll try to smooth it out

Thanks again for your time and input, and I'll get right on adding in bass and smoothing out those transitions. Cheers!
Last edited by juckfush at Dec 19, 2009,
#5
This is really incredible. The chord progressions, the rhythms, every melody is well executed. I loved the major switch you put in there at the Jazz Break. That was very well done.

There definitely needs to be a bass part but of course, I'm sure you'll be on it soon. I think the triplets are fine the way they are. It effectively creates that instability you were going for because it's unexpected. Not to mention it sounds pretty cool too.

I'm not sure what else could be said about this piece. Great work. I'll be looking for the final product once you finish.
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22675913#post22675913
#6
So, this is brilliant as ****. Like, really. Really, really ****ing brilliant.

I LOVE the 'annoying theme'. It's sooooo delicious. And the Jazz Break, I could listen to for hours. Milk that part for all it's worth.

And the Harmonic Minor melody was also really, really nice. It fit just over the chords perfectly. Prop if you can play that perfectly. The heavy bit was a really nice change as well, I wish you would have stayed with it for a little while longer.

And honestly, I could hear the Opeth in the chords. It was like, if Opeth played dark swing.
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1249020
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Dec 21, 2009,