#1
A buddy sent this to me, thought the rest of you might enjoy it.


The Perfect Day for Her:

8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:30 Make love
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day for Him:

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blowjob
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
7:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
8:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ)
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
12:15 Blowjob
12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
2:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew
4:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
5:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Jessica Alba
6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Obama resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated.
7:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak followed by ice cream served on a huge pair of tits
9:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
9:30 Sex with three women all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
11:45 Bed (alone)
11:50 22 second, 4 note fart, that makes dog leave the room
11:55 Laugh self to sleep
There's my way and the wrong way.
#6
I lost at blowjob. It caught me off guard - that, and it's 11 at night.
Last edited by juckfush at Dec 19, 2009,
#11
a day for me
1.wake up, contemplate why i live this meaningless life
2. brush teeth get dressed
3.Check if dave is back in metallica and if Axle rose is still an idiot.
4.Check if the mass media is still trying to sell me stuff i dont need.
5.Grab gun and put it to the side of my head
6.Realize I dont have any bullets
7.Go into UGs pit and check other peoples threads (waste another few hours of my life)
Thor! Odin's son Protector of mankind Ride to meet your fate Your destiny awaits Thor! Hlödyn's son Protector of mankind Ride to meet your fate Ragnarök awaits


E-ARCH NEMESIS of girlgerms007
#12
That's a pretty sweet day if you're a dumbass redneck. Try less "manly" things obviously covering up an obvious latent homosexuality. The only good part was the sex.

If I had the opportunity I wouldn't just get a handjob from jessica alba, you flaming homos.
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Last edited by Kensai at Dec 19, 2009,
#13
Quote by Kensai
That's a pretty sweet day if you're a dumbass redneck. Try less "manly" things obviously covering up an obvious latent homosexuality. The only good part was the sex.

If I had the opportunity I wouldn't just get a handjob from jessica alba, you flaming homos.



You'd stick it in her pooper, right?
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#14
Quote by deathdrummer
a day for me
1.wake up, contemplate why i live this meaningless life
2. brush teeth get dressed
3.Check if dave is back in metallica and if Axle rose is still an idiot.
4.Check if the mass media is still trying to sell me stuff i dont need.
5.Grab gun and put it to the side of my head
6.Realize I dont have any bullets
7.Go into UGs pit and check other peoples threads (waste another few hours of my life)



Sounds like you need the hugging thread.

Here's my day:

12pm: Wake Up
12:01pm - 1am: Eat, Jam, Fap, repeat
R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio. Supplied amazing music to both me and my mother.

He will be missed.
Last edited by larrytheguitar at Dec 19, 2009,
#15
Quote by Kensai
That's a pretty sweet day if you're a dumbass redneck. Try less "manly" things obviously covering up an obvious latent homosexuality. The only good part was the sex.

If I had the opportunity I wouldn't just get a handjob from jessica alba, you flaming homos.


Too right.

Mine would involve jamming with my favorite bands, or buying some sick photo gear and flying off to far east to test it Might be the perfect decade then though....
#17
actual day...very far from perfect

9am-wake
9.05am-load up pc quickly to check my mail in an insecure way and watch porn
9.20am-breakfast
9.40am generic daytime tv
11.00am run
11.30am watch porn again
12pm some household choirs
1pm lunch
1.30pm -9pm work
9.20pm dinner
10pm watch some tv including babestation
12am wake up to babestation
12.am bed
#18
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
10pm watch some tv including babestation
12am wake up to babestation
12.am bed

What is the fascination with babestation?

Although we do have quite a lot of fun in uni by doing our own voiceovers...
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#19
Quote by seth's daddy
A buddy sent this to me, thought the rest of you might enjoy it.


The Perfect Day for Her:

/snip
8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
/snip

Poor girl must have epic diarrhoea to lose weight that fast.
#20
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
actual day...very far from perfect

9am-wake
9.05am-load up pc quickly to check my mail in an insecure way and watch porn
9.20am-breakfast
9.40am generic daytime tv
11.00am run
11.30am watch porn again
12pm some household choirs
1pm lunch
1.30pm -9pm work
9.20pm dinner
10pm watch some tv including babestation
12am wake up to babestation
12.am bed


You have a household choir? Awesome.
#21
Quote by MightyAl
Poor girl must have epic diarrhoea to lose weight that fast.

Or HIV, cancer, or a drug addiction.

I wouldn't have considered that a perfect day, to be honest.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#22
And just 30 minutes of making love with the guy, and only once? It was obviously written by a guy who doesn't get any.

I mean apart from all the bulimic crap.
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#23
"7:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Obama resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated. "


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#24
Quote by rabidguitarist
Or HIV, cancer, or a drug addiction.

I wouldn't have considered that a perfect day, to be honest.

TBH, any day that has golf in it is far from perfect. Even Tiger Woods know that.
#25
The 3 S's are the only thing a man really needs to learn in life.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#26
Quote by Kensai
And just 30 minutes of making love with the guy, and only once? It was obviously written by a guy who doesn't get any.

I mean apart from all the bulimic crap.

Or - A girl, who hasn't gotten any ... yet .
Quote by ep1kz


i've yet to see somebody overthink something as incredibly as you just have

#27
Quote by Kensai
And just 30 minutes of making love with the guy, and only once? It was obviously written by a guy who doesn't get any.

Or my ex, who regularly went to sleep after foreplay.

I'm sure it was out of spite, but she cried when I dumped her, so we're quits now.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#29
I found the woman's morning more enjoyable than the guys, minus the blowjob.
Quote by denfilade
For a moment I thought velcro shoes were ones with the whole bottom made of velcro

She could walk up your pubes with those

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this post has aids
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and 07'ers will always be well-respected members of UG society.